Malaysia

Trip Start Oct 22, 2009
1
19
31
Trip End Oct 21, 2010


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Flag of Malaysia  , Wilayah Persekutuan,
Tuesday, January 5, 2010

D-Day + 77
The Road to KL took 30 of the longest hours of my life. The night boat was a complete and utter carry on. I swear the Jews were treated better in Out-With (who's read Boy in the Stripped Pyjamas??).

Arrived in KL at about 2 in the morning and by sheer good fortune the bus dropped me off round the corner from my hostel. One hour later and I'm still lost. I'd hate to be a postman in KL. Streets make no sense.

D-Day +78
Who saw the human spiderman a few months ago on Channel 4? If you didn't, it involved a daft Frenchman climbing the Petronas towers on the sly. What a knob!!! I fell over constantly just looking at the top. Things are pretty sma!!! You kind of think OBL demolition could strike at anytime when inside. And what is the point in having a Topman if it is the most expensive shop in the city?

I proper like KL however the whole Burberry Burka thing is not big or clever so sort that shit out. While you're sorting out your attire, any chance of sorting out the price of alcohols?

Scouted out a bar where the drinks were almost cheap called reggae bar (every city/town/village has a reggae bar in Asia. Yet to met one person who likes reggae) and it became my local for the next few days.

P.S. I do have a soft spot for Redemption Song

D-Day + 79
TIMES SQUARE SHOPPING CENTRE......Wow.
Now I thought the Bon Acoord Centre was massive. This place has a theme park and two cinemas. Spent my entire day there and what a day I had.

Reggae bar, beers+pool, bed.

D-Day + 80
Some of my more promiscuous friends may have done this in their time but I swear this has never happen to me before and It will never happen again. Woke up rolled over and could not believe the creature I had taken home. I'd taken home a f*cking kitten!!! What kind of pervert takes home a kitten? I'm staying in an 8 person dorm and I'm taking home kittens! Scooped up the little cutie (at least she was cute) and popped her out the door only for the poor thing to howl and try to scratch her way back in. OOPS!

D-Day + 81
All I do in Asia if I'm honest, and you may have noticed, is get smashed and mingle. After all, if you don't mingle... you stay single (would I have taken a kitten home sober?? I don't think so). So during beverage 1 to 5 I play 8 ball pool. Now I ain't the greatest player in the world but I am the reigning Don View player of the year, a co-founder of Tora Tora Tora pool and, more importantly, better than the pish that Asia has to offer. In KL I was given the name the Accountant as the pool table was like my office and although that makes nae sense, I'll be honest, I quite liked the adulation.

Anyway I kind of learned my lesson when I took a wee fortune off a local in Vietnam (fortune to that racist, nae to rich council estate kids like me) and was scared in case he shot me after so I dinna play for money against locals. That does not stop the bastards gambling on my games, so when a giant Malaysian (and when I say giant I mean bigger than me) asked me in the toilet to win the next one and lose the one after that I think It's time to run away.

I ran all the way (I say ran, but there was a taxi involved) to the bars near the Petronas towers and asked for a beer which turned out to be 7. WTF!! There's only one thing to do in this scenario and that's say "oh, and a Mojito" - wait till the bar keep turns his back and run away again.

Home early and alone. Where the fuck's that kitten when I need some spoonage. Little slag!

D-Day + 82
In hiding and got no money today. I mean none, made a mess logging into my Caxton FX account and could not top it up and got frozen out my account till Monday. Left my Nationwide card in an ATM on Phi Phi and I cant remember the pin to the RBS one so had to go and cash some travelers cheques. Since it's the weekend the only banks that are open are in the Twin Towers which are a half hour walk away. What could go wrong? Try tripping over, cutting your big toe, snapping you flip flop and and having to walk the rest of the way with one flip flop and blood gushing (absolute truth, gushing).

Nae liking KL so much today.

D-Day + 83
Fly out to Oz today, kind of looking froward to going back to the real world.


And that's that. Back to a life of work, gym, book, bed. At least it will be nice weather.



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