The wheels on the bus...
Trip Start
Oct 04, 2005
1
40
62
Trip End
Ongoing
Back on the road again, and boy, what a road! I'll never complain about the two hour drive from DC to Cville ever again! From Vang Vieng back to Vientiane (4 hours), Vientiane to Phonsavon (9 hours), Phonsavon to Sam Neua (8 hours), and Sam Neua to Nong Khiaw (11 hours) in six days isn't exactly easy travelling. I only take the public buses since the VIP buses (read: falang buses) are more expensive and just a little too touristy. So imagine me one of the only white people on a bus crammed so full of people at times that the little plastic stools are brought out to fill the aisle for extra seating. There's no such thing as a sold out public bus in Laos. I usually try to get to the bus station early so that I can get a window seat. This is not only for a better look at the view, but also a temperature control as these buses were made before a/c was invented and the fans are usually broken. If I'm lucky the seats are individual, if not, they look somewhat like school bus seats. There are a minimum number of stops, one twenty minute one during which I rush to eat either noodle soup or some sticky rice and spicy green papaya salad. The other stops are for pee breaks, which is done family roadtrip style. The men line the side of the road to pee in the bushes, looking very similar to guys at the urinals in a western bathroom. The women go off a bit for more privacy, though one old granny once squatted down right in front of my window. I guess when you're that old you don't really care about peeing in front of an entire busload of people. The other stops occur at the little villages along the way where people laden down with chickens, vegetables, and huge bags of who knows what jump on and off the bus. At these stops women wielding sodas and water, roast chicken or cicadas (yes, cicadas!) on sticks, and bags of sticky rice rush up to the windows to try to sell their snacks. The first couple of times on such buses were quite an experience and the newness of it all kept me entertained, but as the novelty of roasted bugs on sticks being pushed in my face wore off, I had to find other ways to survive the long trips. So if you ever find yourself in a third world country on a bus ride estimated to take seven hours (give or take a couple hours) then here are the following tips:
1. Take buses that leave early so that it's cooler and so that you're still tired enough to sleep for at least an hour or two.
2. Try to talk or at least use sign language with the person sitting next to you. This will kill time, is entertaining, and usually yields some snacks along the way.
3. Bring music!!! Perfect to fall asleep to, zone out to, and reminisce to, mp3 players are usually a big hit with the other people on the bus. Though they generally won't like the music, they like the novelty of earphones, and it makes you lots of friends. Plus, oftentimes the loud and terrible pop music (the worst was Vietnamese) played in some buses can be unbearable. Headphones are good to drown it out, even if you feel like you'll go deaf by the end of the ride because you have to turn it up so loud.
4. Reading is good, but I get carsick if I do. And even those who normally don't, might begin to feel queasy on the twists and turns of the mountain roads.
4a. The roads in the mountains are narrow, scary, and really twisty resulting in a lot of puke. The barf bags are usually handed out after the puking begins, when the driver or his helper are suddenly reminded of the necessity, so people mostly stick their heads out the window. So if you see someone in a seat in front of you looking a little queasy, be sure to close your window so as to avoid chicken and sticky rice chunks flying in.
5. When all else fails, and sometimes even before this, one of my favorite things to do is just look out the window. This may sound boring or obvious or just kinda dumb, but I find this tip to be the most important. The scenery is stunning, and once you realize that you'll never be able to catch it on film, you can just sit back and enjoy. It's incredible how much you can take in when you just relax your eyes and just look. The colors become more brilliant, each mountain and cloud becomes something special. And as you watch the world passing by, allow your mind to wander. You'll see that it will go to the randomest places and you'll find yourself thinking of people you haven't seen for years or a funny joke someone told you once. You see yourself in the future, when you get home and enter the "real world" again. All the different possibilities at life rush through your head. I tend to revisit my favorite ones over and over. You'll be amazed how quickly the hours go by when your mind and body just go on autopilot.
So this is how I've survived my bus journeys so far, and I'm sure I will definitely be using my methods in the near future as well. The important thing to remember is that even if a seven hour ride turns into a nine hour one (Vientiane to Phonsavon) or the bus breaks down and you're forced to make the journey in the uncomfortable cab of a truck (Phonsavon to Sam Neua), it's all an experience and someday it will make a great story.
1. Take buses that leave early so that it's cooler and so that you're still tired enough to sleep for at least an hour or two.
2. Try to talk or at least use sign language with the person sitting next to you. This will kill time, is entertaining, and usually yields some snacks along the way.
3. Bring music!!! Perfect to fall asleep to, zone out to, and reminisce to, mp3 players are usually a big hit with the other people on the bus. Though they generally won't like the music, they like the novelty of earphones, and it makes you lots of friends. Plus, oftentimes the loud and terrible pop music (the worst was Vietnamese) played in some buses can be unbearable. Headphones are good to drown it out, even if you feel like you'll go deaf by the end of the ride because you have to turn it up so loud.
4. Reading is good, but I get carsick if I do. And even those who normally don't, might begin to feel queasy on the twists and turns of the mountain roads.
4a. The roads in the mountains are narrow, scary, and really twisty resulting in a lot of puke. The barf bags are usually handed out after the puking begins, when the driver or his helper are suddenly reminded of the necessity, so people mostly stick their heads out the window. So if you see someone in a seat in front of you looking a little queasy, be sure to close your window so as to avoid chicken and sticky rice chunks flying in.
5. When all else fails, and sometimes even before this, one of my favorite things to do is just look out the window. This may sound boring or obvious or just kinda dumb, but I find this tip to be the most important. The scenery is stunning, and once you realize that you'll never be able to catch it on film, you can just sit back and enjoy. It's incredible how much you can take in when you just relax your eyes and just look. The colors become more brilliant, each mountain and cloud becomes something special. And as you watch the world passing by, allow your mind to wander. You'll see that it will go to the randomest places and you'll find yourself thinking of people you haven't seen for years or a funny joke someone told you once. You see yourself in the future, when you get home and enter the "real world" again. All the different possibilities at life rush through your head. I tend to revisit my favorite ones over and over. You'll be amazed how quickly the hours go by when your mind and body just go on autopilot.
So this is how I've survived my bus journeys so far, and I'm sure I will definitely be using my methods in the near future as well. The important thing to remember is that even if a seven hour ride turns into a nine hour one (Vientiane to Phonsavon) or the bus breaks down and you're forced to make the journey in the uncomfortable cab of a truck (Phonsavon to Sam Neua), it's all an experience and someday it will make a great story.


Comments
Very funny!
You should send this to LP..they'll want to hire you as a writer! I think I'll stick with the touristy busses and remember to bring my own barf bag.
puke bags...brilliant!
Lacey
What wonderful descriptions...you really capture the essence of those long monotonous rides when if you get impatient with where you are you go crazy. You remind me of several long trips on trains in India...same thing of just staring out the window and letting the mind wander...very zen. And very cool for you...
love
dad