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From Russia With Love
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Tache Ticker: Considering that we're closest now to Europe, it's surprising that there's taches galore in St. Pete's! Seen many tachetastic beezers, including one which was wider actually than the wearers face! One other particularly impressive bewhiskered gentleman had one to rival the Ulaan Baatar beauty with waxed fat twirly bits reminiscent of the famous "Your country needs you" geezer. The biggest challenge now is going to be: how long can we withstand the abuse from the hordes of Gillete fanciers on our return to the tacheless west; before we must hack the bastards off our faces? Not long I'm reckonin...
After squeezing in the Kremlin and a quick visit to the ancient town of beautiful Suzdal in the Golden Ring we left the grandness of Moscow behind, it can be rivalled only by the elegance of St Petersburg. The city which was founded by Peter the Great as a "window to the west", on a swamp only 300 years ago, must be one of the most architectually stunning cities in Europe. Gold spangled domes and shining needle-like spires adorn the fine city scape which lies across the river Neva and the centre is criss-crossed with Venice-like canals. As with Moscow, you can really feel the weight of history here, the old capital was the birth of the Red revolution and everyone knows about the 'Leningrad Blockade' which was the definining event of the 20th century here. One million people died within the city walls from starvation, disease, shelling or canibalism as they were trapped here by the German siege for nearly 900 days. The UK and the US by comparsion lost only 700,000 in all of WWII.
The real gem of St Pete's is of-course the world famous Hermitage museum. It must be one of the greatest art collections in the world. Made so enormous by Catherine the Great's shrewd dealing, she collected many of the best pieces by exchanging crappy self portraits of herself! - and she was a munter! The Reds also siezed a shedload of masterpeices during the revolution and there are entire rooms full of Van Gaugh, Matisse, Cezzane, Monet, Renoir, Piccasso and many others. I'm not exactly an art buff but it was pretty incredible to get to see such a collection. Soski, no much else has been happeningski. Almost mastered the Cryllic alphabetski and it's only a matter of time before I'm fluent in Roooski! Since myself and Christophski, bad farewell to Tim and Jesski, we have mainly been admiring the local wildlifski. The Common Hairy-Legged Babuskaski is a dangerous animal however, although part-humanski, it often behaves like a rabid dogski. This can be very disturbingski, especially when the common subspecies - hairy top lipski with camel breathski - is barking in yer faceski! The much more attractive creature known simply as the Greater Spotted Hotski, bears none of these offensive characteriskis however. Apart from on their headskis, they are hairless mammalskis with colourful markings and very small clothinskis. They normally can be found with stilleto hoofskis and red lipskis. I would recommend every single manski, drop whatever they're doing immediatelyski and get their arskis out here prontoski!
Rossiya has been a real delight, unique and in a class of it's own. No other country has such an identity, a history or has had quite such an affect on the world without the world really knowing anything about it. The place has exceeded every expectation and we'll be sad to leave. Indeed we were actually quite apprehensive before we got here, but all the horror stories of police extortion, violent street scum and general dodginess have been unfounded. While the Ruskis certainly won't win any prizes for being the friendliest nation on earth, they will never bore you and even if they don't speak English (which is normal), it's usually an interesting encounter. The best part about this country is that although it's absolutely stunning in parts, takes up the majority of the worlds landmass and has so much going for it, there's barely no other tourists here at all.
We've been stuck in St Pete's for 5 days now due to now bus seats to Tallinn being unavailable but we're off tomorrow on the over nighter. With any luck, the Red border guards'll let us out without taking all our money off us! More thumbnails ...
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