The final tale...

Trip Start May 07, 2003
Trip End Sep 05, 2005

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Flag of Fiji  ,
Saturday, February 14, 2004


Well well, neebors and hooligans. I made it. Kiwiland, Neuva Zealandia, at last. How, is anyones guess, but here I am nevertheless, the final destination on my ticket. I left my folks yesterday, my mother in a flood of tears as she ain't gonna see me in another year, me and my father - sad spectators. It was a momentous occasion in Fiji seeing them for the first time since last May, and they didn't even recognise me at first with my tanned hide, sunbleached locks, and flowing beard, nor when I passed them by the pool or in the restaurant the two or three times after that! I had quite possibly thee most relaxing time, with the best food, sleep, wine and beer I can remember. I even got rid of the Bolivian stomach pet I had been keeping since mid Jan! They had a huge camper van, with all mod cons and we've been scooting aboot beautiful North Island for the last week.

Had a quick 6 day stopover in Fiji before arriving, spent the entire time on the tiny Beachcomber Island which was a kinda mini South Pacific version of Ibiza, great fun, many debauched nights and crazy drinking games wi all those English piss artists.
Quite possibly the friendliest people on the planet the Fijians, everyone greets with a warm, loud BULA! everyone remembers your name no matter how quick or irrelavant the meeting, they even all wave at you in the street as you pass in the car, bad moods just don't exist - not really a requirement when you live in paradise. Did my best dives yet. The "Supermarket" was a Shark encounter dive, a raging hard current drove us along this steep hill as gorgeous sleek Black Tip Reef sharks circled in their dozens above, not even a sniff of my stinky tootsies, I guess I just ain't tasty enough for these muthas. The other one was "Pleasure", said to be one of the best divesites in the world. With more intensity of fishlife and colour you could ever hope for, something special is wot it woz.

Landed on my feet in Auckland (I hope). I met this guy within hours of getting here that's looking for a strong young lad to help him out. He works for a film production company, and what with the movie boomtime here now after the Lord of the Ringpieces, there's shed loads of work building sets and all kinds o shit. So I'll probs stay up here for a while, then head south to tend to ma sheep. Theres a wild party scene here so hopefully not a dull moment. I was actually unknowingly entered into the "Mr.Backpacker" tournament last night by the evil English birds I met in Fiji. No stripteeze and body oil for this, oh no. Spacehoppering round the bar, cycling on a childs bicycle, shagging a blowup doll on stage, drinking a raw egg, followed by a beer soaked weetabix, washed down with a swift jar of lager while holding two tampons in my mouth!! I unfortunately lost by 3 seconds after receieving a penalty for regurgitation of the weetabix! Carnage ensued anyhow, even though I didn't win the $150 bar tab, and I woke up in the wrong hostal this morning!

New zealand seems like a pretty radical place, everywhere there is some mad stunt being performed with bungee dumps and zip lines off most of the bridges, tall buildings and any other locations the Karazee Kiwis are mad enough to leap from. I've managed to confine my adrenalin activities to rafting off a 21ft waterfall on the Kaituna River but hopefully more to follow soon. I still have to contend with the English language conversion however and can often be found ordering my food in Spanish or shouting "Senorita" at bemused barmaids!

So folks, this will probably be the last "BIG" mail you'll be glad to hear. No point in me boring you any further seeing as my life will no doubt become a pitiful spiral of depression and idleness now I'm not actually travelling any more. I may however send you lucky folks some quality snaps of the last part of my trip in Latin land. There are some 'real beauts'.
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