Scotty Doesnt know
Trip Start
May 08, 2006
1
82
108
Trip End
Mar 07, 2007
Amsterdam,
Netherlands
Saturday, December 2, 2006
You gotta love that movie. Amstedam was a blast, although i couldnt find club vandersexxx im sure it existed somewhere.
I got my train from Rotterdam (about 20 bucks) then got off the train and caught a tram. Strangely enough i got off at the right stop and found the hostel immediatley. I had a good feeling about amsterdam. Still i was without money and the hostel had a rule of upfront payment. I had to go for a walk because all the banks in holland dont do money exchange. Found a exchange next door to a "coffeeshop" and made a mental note of the coffeeshop. Walked the 10 min back, payed my accomodation, put the bag in the room and headed immediatley to the coffeeshop
a. amsterdam at night
. Now for those who don't know. A "Coffeshop" in amsterdam is the name for a hash bar. They dont call coffeeshops, coffeshops. They call them cafes. I walked into the Coffeshop called the Bulldog. A popular chain. I was like a bar inside but instead of alcohol it was weed. I looked at the menu. I felt like a marijuana virgin. Now ive tried pot before but ive never got high off the stuff. I walked up to the counter like the first time in a bottle shop. I said stuttering "Whats the difference between a reefer and a joint?" I always thought they were they same. I thought they were both slang names for rolled up marijuana. It turns out if you didnt know. A joint is half tobacco half marijuana. A reefer is pure weed. On the menu it had the same names under joints and reefers. Tobacco is bad so i went for the reefer. I asked whats the difference between the white widow, purple haze and some other one. He said purple haze is light, white widow is strong. People in rotterdam said i should start light. So i did. I got a pack of 4 reefers. Sat down on a stool at the bar and lit up. I smoked amaturely away. Geez it felt wrong. I had been watching cops episodes in Rotterdam and people were getting arrested in the US and here i am just smoking away. The reefers I had kept going out every 5 seconds. I thought I was doing something wrong. But it was the reefers themselves. I smoked my 4 and walked out
b. christmas is coming
. I thought i wasnt that bad until i went to Macdonalds (Across the road!!) and asked for a sundae and said "ill have a caramel sundae, no yes thankyou please". I wasnt that bad. I felt like the tin man though. I couldnt put the fries in my mouth because i thought my hands seized up and needed oil. I felt like the tin man! I walked around a bit after that, to the Red light district!! Now i was there about 6pm. Lets just say the quality of ladies at 6pm is ok. At midnight its quite an amazing site. Which i would find out later. But anyway, there is the main canal bit, and all these seedy alley walls you can walk down and have a laugh. Especially when your hazed. Its funny they tap on the windows and wave at you. Brings back memories of Pattaya. Good old wholesome Pattaya. They have sections for good looking girls, sections for Fatties, blacks, whites, asians and even a transexual section. Calm down Marto! Went back to the hostel ready for the next day. Jules: So, tell me again about the hashbars?
Vincent: Okay, what you wanna know?
Jules: Hash is legal there right?
Vincent: Yeah, it's legal, but it ain't a hundred percent legal. I mean, you can't walk into a restaurant, roll a joint and start puffin' away
c. Park near hostel
. You're only supposed to smoke in your home or certain designated places. Jules: And those are hashbars?
Vincent: It breaks down like this: it's legal to buy it, it's legal to own it, and, if you're the proprietor of a hash bar, it's legal to sell it. It's legal to carry it, but that doesn't really matter 'cause - get a load of this - if you get stopped by the cops in amsterdam, it's illegal for them to search you. I mean, that's a right the cops in amsterdam don't have.
Jules: [Laughing] I'm going, that's all there is too it, I'm f@cking going
Vincent: Yeah baby, you'd digg it the most.
The following day was a shoe mission. I walked around all day looking for shoes. Finally found some cheap 20 euro shoes. Not terrible, not fantastic but alright. Am happy my feet dont touch the ground anymore. Also in this day i went to the Sex Musuem. Probably one of the most interesting musuems ive been too. It had loads of porno photos from the 60's to the 1800s. Was funny to see naked men with moustaches having it off with a girl in a victorian dress. There was even a marlyn munroe model and buttons which said english, french, japenese, etc
d. The coffee shop i frequented
. No matter which one you pressed air blew up her dress. A different song did play though. It was wierd to be listening to When a man loves a woman and looking at porn. I must have spent hours in this place. I must have spent so long in fact that I didnt stop by a coffeeshop. I headed back, microwaved a pizza for about 2 bucks ready for the next day. As usual i woke up about mid day again. So cold and dark and all. Now this day i had big plans, i was going to go to the van gogh museum, rembrant musuem, anne frank house, etc. Instead I saw the coffeeshop on the way and just had a little pop in just to i thought make the day more funny. I decide to get the strong reefers, the white widows. Got a 4 pack. Lit it up. It was nice tasting. Had 2 and i was feeling strange. Thought id better go up and buy more while i was still sane. Could not walk. But somehow bought extra and sat back down. By the time i had 4 i was tripping. I got the idea to write stuff down but the writing was coming out of the page. My mind was thing 2000 thoughts at once and i couldnt focus on any idea. I had another 3 reefers. I couldnt focus enough to stand. I looked at the 2 guys talking in front of me. I think bob marley was playing and as this guy was talking i could have sworn he was singing and that he was bob marley!! I even started to get paranoid, i got scared that the alien pengiun men were out to get me
e. Picture i took while stoned
. And if i had reception i would have sent some msgs out. Luckily i saved the draft. Some people walked in and i hid because i was so scared. I realised i had to leave. I got out and started walking. I had the munchies. Maccas!! I stood in line. I was freaking out in the line. Was it moving at all, had time stopped. There was 4 people in front, then suddenly none!! The man was he talking to me. I went to talk and it came out in slow motion i said "Caaaannnnn I haaaaaaaveee a cararameeell sundae and ummmmmmmmmmmmm and ummmmmm a DOUGNUT!!" I dont know how long he had his hand out waiting for the money. But it must have been an eternity. It was the best caramel sundae of my life!! I went to have a slash and got worried because i thought i was in a maze and couldnt remember or even see the exit. Somehow i got out and started randomly walking. I somehow went into a bookstore. It had 3 levels. I got up to the top and freaked out beacause i didnt know how to get out. Another maze. Also the fact that the books werent in alphabetical order freaked me out. After about an hour i think i walked out and i sat out the front and decided i needed to eat some peanut butter sandwiches. I sat on the bench got out my bread, plastic knife and peanut butter. As i buttered i was so paronoid people thought i was a bum and were going to steal my peanut butter. I remember giving people dirty looks (evils!). Once i was done i was so happy. I found the supermarket as if by magic and bought pizza and a chocolate. Also in this situation i did not know how long the girl had her hand out for the money
f. another stoner picture
. I also couldnt work out how to open the plastic bag. As i was walking around I seemed to be able to walk through time. I appeared to be able to get to the end of the street just by thinking it. I also seemed to have no control of what my brain thought. I was really worried that it would think too much and break. I was also worried the police would get me somehow. They appeared to be everywhere that day. I couldnt control my legs either. It was like i could turn my torso one way and move my arms like i was walking right but still walk straight. I made a deal with my brain to take me back to the hostel where i would be safe. I drifted in and out of consioucness and next i know im sitting back in the hostel. I thought it was a trick by the evil coffeeshop and i was worried maybe i never left. Maybe this is a mirage. Eventually i saned up though. Its bizarre though. They say when you get high, you still think rationally, unlike alcohol. Its true, i never thought of doing stupid stuff, and i can sort of remember everything.
Then i met 2 british guys called Paul and Uzair. Great guys chatted to them for a while in the hostel. Me still half sane. There was also a canadian girl called Amanda who was also in the hanging out, see pics. The next day, us all coincedently being in the same dorm, all headed out on the town
g. Bikes everywhere
. They went to sex museum, i went to go find the marijuana museum but found the red light district and the eroctic museum instead. Why not i thought. It wasnt as good as the sex museum. Had photos as well but not as good and had more statues and crap. The red light district is bizzare. It is like anything goes here. People walk past you and say cocaine so many times that its stupid. The cops so obviously turn a blind eye. Met back up with the others and we found the marijuana musuem. Had some interesting facts about hash. In the US the penalties are the worst. Jail time for growing a plant. Death for growing a small crop. Its actually very medicinal. Not that im going to be a regular smoker or anything.
So after this we headed to a chain of cofeeshops called the Grasshopper. Sells massive reefers. I had a little and got a little bit done but not half as bad as the day before. We walked aimlessley around for a while. Paul needed a video cassette to send marijuana home. The only place we could find was a porno store. Plenty of those around. In this store it had personal video rooms. I looked inside one. All tisues on the floor. Gross!! And the magazines. Wow!! We just dont get these sort of magazines back home.
We got the tram back to the hostel
h. Me coming to
. Chilled out ate some food. I fell asleep. When i woke up everyone wanted to go to a sex show. So i said i guess you have to dont you. We went to the red light district. Shopped around and went in one. It was a tiny little room with a little stage and 20 chairs. Like the classrooms in the history block at East Hills boys. I happened to sit next to an aussie guy from north queensland. Worst australian i have ever met. He had apparenltly been there since 8 in the morning and he wouldnt stop talking to me. It isnt really a good place to meet people. He was asking me where i was from, what i do, how many girls ive been with. How many girls i have done in the windows outside. I was like OMG. Leave me alone i want to watch the show in peace. He apparently had tried lots of girls outside.
The show was bizzare. There was some dominatrix sorta stuff. For one they even got a guy from the stage and he stripped down naked and got to do some whipping. It was crap thought. All the girls were ugly apart from one and they never did anything. It was like watching a robot or something. They all looked bored. Probably because they did the same thing every 1 hour. It was suprising how many girls came to watch too. If been to see a sex show. Never go again. Was expensive and wierd. The brits left heaps of marijuana which i didnt want to get in my clothes because i was going to the airport the next day so i gove it away.
The last day the brits left, i washed my clothes and bummed around. Meant to go to the Heinieken brewery and do a tour, get some free beers and a keyring but forgot. Met some nice american girls who checked in the night before i was leaving. So it goes. One Sonia, from New York, really nice girl who got hazed and therefore I had a deep and meaning full conversation in the wee hours of the morning with. I dont think i would have gotten to know her otherwise. Its wierd the way you meet people.
Actually i meant to do a lot more in amsterdam but then i got high. Just like the song goes. Had a blast though. Left at 5am in the morning for the bus to the airport and got the plane to Livo.
