Yes, so if you've read all my entries so far then you are my buddy ... and we will have to have a pint in a dirty bar and talk revolution when I get back home. If you haven't ... then you know what to do.
I am back in good old Hyderabad ... after Mumbai I have 400 rupees to my name and I am waiting for the second "installment" of my fellowship funds to transfer to the bank. I am slacking a bit at work - even though the pressure is on. However, I am trying to get my mind together - and be relaxed for the next two months while I have the biggest challenge ahead of me ... writing a knock-your-socks-off report and preparing an equally impressive presentation. Venkat even suggested inviting the core-team members in to see the presentation so that MVF can start dialog about my suggestions ... MY suggestions. Its nuts. I am just putting too much pressure on myself to produce amazing results .... I want that invite to do the project in Burkina Faso. We will see - you will be updated and if all works out you will be reading a new blog next year - the scenery will be different - the problems probably the same roots - but it'll be Africa ... ahhhh. I am preparing a proposal.
I was thinking about a conversation I had with a friend near the poolside of her Santa Monica home two years back .... when I really decided that I wanted to go for political science ... that I was interested in human rights and humanitarian work. I was telling her about my new internship - and about all the horrible things I was writing about - reporting on - about all the bad things that are going on - and that I felt somewhat guilty about trying not to care as much as my heart told me I should. I thought there was something really wrong with the world if I could be enjoying the sunlight with my good friend watching her daughter play so carelessly ... and in another part of the world children were dying ... being raped ... being forced into work ... into early marriages. She asked me if I really wanted to go into a field and a job that made me feel the way I must have seemed ... she knows how sensitive I am. My mother would say I am too sensitive - to the point that it could be dangerous for me - emotionally or otherwise. Now with time gone by so quickly ... yet so purposefully ... I cannot imagine doing anything else with my life. I see things in a different way - and I am finding it hard to realize a life that balances my ever-evolving morals with the world I live in and its pressures. It takes a great deal of humility, dedication, and persistence ... I feel like my life's goal is to achieve some balance - it is everyone's I suppose in one way or another.
Speaking of balancing and feeling guilty about it .... on the 22nd I depart for Kerala and Goa - a 10 day adventure with some friends that I met through my old colleague Kevin ... who is back in Ireland - having fun?? It will be nice - and I think we are going to so secret santa ... that will be the hi light I am sure. Besides that it is all chilling in Hyderabad - but mostly working my butt off on getting all my work done - the report - my journals for the fellowship - sending out applications for jobs - and in the spare time my papers for Hunter. Its a bit too much. In fact, I am wasting time writing this entry - but its worth it. Keep holding it down in NYC for me ya'll!! :)
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