Fiji Time III – Robinson Crusoe Party
Trip Start Nov 01, 2010
47Trip End Nov 01, 2011
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We drove north, to a small field by the river, where we awaited the small speed boat to collect us. Whilst waiting another shuttle bus turned up, packed, sweet! About 20 people, mostly families got off and appeared to have no luggage? They explained they were her for the day visit to the island ? We thought, ok, so who all is bloody staying in this place? Whilst on the 30 minute boat journey, a resort manager, Francis informed us that ourselves and 2 other guests would be staying on the island ???? Eh? Do people know something we don’t? At that point, we had our doubts, in fact I’d considering moving LA flight forward that morning as I thought we were beached out
All the food which was included in the package was buffet style. Lunch was unreal. The day trip people then left about 430, and it was then it felt like we were on a proper desert island living like Robinson Crusoe. There were about 10 staff left, cooks, bar lady and some carpenters
Maverick and Ice-Man
That evening myself and Caoimhe joined in with the locals and Yachties for a game of volleyball, top gun style….then it was time for a well needed shower minus the buckets J
At dinner, (Beef Stew), few wines at the bar, watching on as the 2 bikini English girls (here 2 weeks now) had all the local lads following them like lost puppies
Who turned the lights out?
We then watched the South Africa V Samoa game with the locals, and we knew then it was possible to watch the Ireland V Italy game 2 days later. Some South African sailors joined us, who were sailing around the world for a few years now. Conversation popped up with an older South African/Czechoslovakian (with majaffis boat) and his wife as to what he does for a job – An atomic phycisicit, what a conversation killer haha. He worked for various governments building something I can’t even pronounce, whereby countries would throw 100 and 200 million at the project, hence the boat. If I only had of listened to Mr.Cromie at school more during physics. Hit the hay earlier, after configuring the mosquito net. The weather was soaring hot that day and we were dog tired. At midnight, the generator stopped, electricity off, fan off, oh fck. It wasn’t too bad though, and there was a huge blinding torch left for us if we needed it, plus we had our own from our campervan days in NZ (which seems like a distant memory already). Have to say, when I looked out the window in the middle of the night, it was pure darkness, and for a while Il be honest, I was freaking out, staying out in the country in Caoimhe’s home in Burren freaks me out, with cows everywhere (I reckon cows are evil to be honest, the moo’ing is traumatic)
One morning we woke up, made the bed and then I jumped into the shower. Then all of a sudden I heard Caoimhe scream the place down, I lept out convinced someone had broken in. Someone had let themselves in, the biggest spider we have ever seen in our lives. Caoimhe looked to have had a minor heart attack, she was panting like mad. It then scurried under the bed. Great, there is a spider the size of a chawawa under our bed. It had more hair than a chawawa anyway. We were freaking out, I wasn't the biggest fan of spiders. We had to get the cleaning lady to come, lift the bed up and spray it out. I helped her, and when she sprayed it, it lept out in my direction, I dropped the bed and near fainted haha - Finally we got the monster out, she even said it the biggest she had ever seen and she worked on the island. I tipped her well and then we could get on with our lives again.
Mutant Ninja Turtles
About 80 people had arrived on the island around noon for the day for the activities (snorkeling, turtle viewing, scuba diving) and for the fire show in the evening
We got talking to quite a few of the guests and Yachties and swam about the pool, which had a tunnel into another pool. Caoimhe swam under water through the tunnel, mission accomplished, there was no holding back Scuba Weev after that.
We all had some nice Lovo diner, cooked under the ground on hot coal, just like in NZ, enough to feed all 100 of us. During the presentation, some of the locals walked over the hot coal. Some new guests had arrived, a French lad Ben, living on the island of New Caledonia (French speaking, handy) was a good spud and had the 40 bed dorm to himself.
Over dinner, we were sat with the South African Yachtie, sound lad, still don’t know his name, the atomic phycisicit, that will do. He was sailing with his ‘cousin’ , a red head from his native country of Czechoslovakia. OK, they pretty much couldn’t keep their hands of each other so I am not sure what the deal was there. Anyways, sound couple/cousins, and he offered to collect us in his dingy the next morning and we could come on board his yacht. Sweet!
The fire show was unbelievable! Very talented people getting paid buttons! Some of the lads I knew from beach volleyball, I thought they just carpenters building and renovating new Bures and Lodges.
A few wines (an emerging pattern) and it was good night Irene.
1981 was a fine year
Mr. South Africa – how does a 9am pick up sound – Jesus! Ok thanks that will do. Had our island breakfast, picked up on time, whilst red head was having a massage. All 4 of us went out to their very impressive yacht, the best amongst the others parked up by Robinson Crusoe. He built the boat HIMSELF FFS (mechanical engineer), impressive. It was huge, and under deck was very luxurious. We’d never been on a private boat before. They made us some South African tea and we had a chat, red head’s English wasn’t great, nor was her hairy armpits and legs lol We chatted all morning and then it was offski, a nice (birthday) morning. (Just turned 30– missing everybody at home, but it’s ok Caoimhe had something memorable up her sleeve) Afterwards, we headed snorkeling, had to be quick onto the boat as 168 day trippers had arrived on the island, great. We sailed out to the reef and went for a snorkel. The reef wasn’t great, not nearly as colorful as Blue Lagoon or Octopus however there was a first for me. About 10 minutes in I was looking down and in the corner of my eye I seen a giant fish, and as soon I seen it’s head I realized it was a fckin SHARK. A reef shark at that but still can be quite dangerous. Scared the schnizzle out of me, grabbed Caoimhe’s hand and power swam to the main group, I didn’t want us to be picked off at the back
Back to buffet lunch, rice, pasta, fish, nice. Place was packed, biggest crowd since we arrived. There was about 220 or so surrounding the main stage for the afternoon dancing. We really were getting our money’s worth having seen a similar show the night before. About half an hour into the amazing show in the roaring sun, there was complete silence. Then the lead dancer girl made an announcement, (it dawned on me Caoimhe had been up to something all morning) – we have a special birthday guest with us – Please come up Brian (I could have died on the spot with heart failure. Caoimhe and the other 219 people were in stitches, cheering and roaring. She made me sit on a seat in the middle of them as 3 ladies performed a tribal dance for my birthday. I can’t fully put in words how I felt (Caoimhe ye rascal) – it felt like I was in an outdoor strip club (without the stripping) being watched by hundreds of people, awkward as fck. Half way through the song, which felt like an eternity she reached out for my hand – someone shoot me now, put me out of my misery.
They then made me copy the dance routine, when I say copy, them girls were moving like Shakira whilst I was moving like Stephen Hawkins. I wanted it to end but thought I’d better give it a rattle
Caoimhe’s next surprise, an hour long beach massage. Flip, I was having a great day. Afterwards we had dinner (indian style) with the guests and Yachties. 4 new guests had joined us on the island ( another frenchy for Ben to pal up with and 2 American girls, whilst the 2 english bikini girls departed much to the despair of their Fijian boyfriends). After dinner myself and Caoimhe parked ourselves beside the island TV, awaiting the big game, Ireland V Italy. We were even practicing the anthem FFS. Then some Fijian show started…..ok what’s going on here. Seemingly the TV only had 1 channel and chose only to show games with teams from Fiji’s group. Ah balls. Ah well we then just mingled with everyone, about 30 of us left. It was welcome ceremony time, which meant only 1 thing, Cava. We all sat round in a circle, drank some Cava, different measures were given Low Tide, Medium Tide, High Tide and Tsunami. Caoimhe was nominated chief and I was spokesman and the Cava was blessed. Each time I was given a tsunami of plant narcotic fuel. Tongue completely numb. Then out of nowhere Caoimhe comes out with a birthday cake with candles lit, with 4 local lads with guitars singing happy birthday. This was a lot less embarrassing than events from the afternoon in the bloody coliseum ( at least there were only 30 people)
Monday – Lazy Day
The next day, the place was scarce, even less staff and no day trippers. Monday is the day were the islanders take it off and head back to the mainland. We decided to go kayaking and knock about the pool, totally chilled out, nursing a bit of a birthday hangover. The weather continued to be it’s normal sunny 35 degree weather. I fell out of the kayak, smashed my face of the side, splitting my sunglasses in 2, there goes pair no.23 since leaving home. Whilst Caoimhe was making jewelry from coconut shells I was playing some more volleyball with the locals. Serious sweat going on whilst them lads are running about in work boots
Our last day on the other side of the world
Woke up the next morning at 630 to the sound of 2 geckos having a fight, right above my head. Today is our last day in the Southern Hemisphere where we have spent over 11 months, living amongst the giant spiders, saltwater crocs, snakes and vampire mosquitos - USA and heading home will be welcomed for some normality, where I don’t have to spray a half tin of Rio insect repellent on me and half choke to death. In saying that Robinson Crusoe bite count is still at zero. We’ll forgive the geckos, they sort out the mosquito problem.
* We learnt a lot about the Fijian history & culture whilst visiting the islands. Years ago they were all cannibals, and would happily eat each other. That was until the missionaries arrived and converted them to the various faiths.
We managed to get a late check out/boat from Crusoe @ 430pm as our flight to LA isn’t until 10pm, excellent. I couldn’t see hanging around Nadi airport for 12 hours being a very pleasant experience
On our final day on Robinson Crusoe island I decided I’d head fishing. Paid 1 of the local fishermen to take me out on his boat, Mohamed. Sound as a pound. It was about 40 degrees and he’d a full tracksuit on, hoodie and all, sure it was Winter!? Anyways, we sailed along the reef, trawling the sea for my lunch. Not even a bite but with15 minutes left on the clock, I hooked a big daddy. Fought with it for about 5 minutes whilst Mo laughed on. Got him to the surface, a giant trevally……and then all of sudden he managed to get off the hook and swim back to his mates. I was raging and obviously no photographic evidence this took place. I came back empty handed but enjoyed it.
Sitting in Fiji airport here waiting half an hour for our food which of course is on ‘Fiji time’. Waiting for our number to be called out, Airport Bingo wa? Beverley Hills here we come. 1 month left.