Bergville
Trip Start
Jun 08, 2008
1
20
28
Trip End
Aug 15, 2008
Bergville,
KwaZulu-Natal,
South Africa
Friday, July 25, 2008
I wasn't going to mention anything about this but it has become such a noticeable part of our tour that it is begging to be brought up: There has been, almost since the first day of our tour, a budding "romance" between two of the participants: Stefan (the German living in Switzerland) and Natalie, the French-Swiss mother of the mother/daughter combo. Actually "romance" is a polite way of putting it. In fact it is primarily one-sided, from the usual side - the man's. Essentially, Stefan is "happily" married to a wife of 18 years and has two sons. But - he's a man - and he's on vacation (without his wife), so he figures it's his manly duty to have a conquest as part of his vacation. And being a woman in her forties, Natalie is happy to flirt with Stefan because it confirms to her her continued desirability in spite of her advancing age. In general, a woman wants to be desired - but without having to put up with the follow-through of having sex. As a result, Natalie has been, if I may say, leading Stefan on - essentially making him think that with just a little more time he would be able to get her in the sack. As you might recall, Stefan was supposed to end his tour today. But his desire / expectation to consummate his holiday romance is so strong that he moved heaven and earth today to prolong his stay on the tour for a few more days. He abandoned, at significant expense, an already paid flight from Durban to Cape Town and had to buy a new plane ticket, likewise at great expense, from Lesotho to Cape Town. All for the hope of bedding this woman and proving that he's still a man.
None of this would have affected me in the least - until today. We arrived this afternoon at our resort, which is to be our home for the next two nights. We are divided into groups and staying in three-bedroom houses and since I was the first one in my house, I had the first pick of the bedrooms. So I chose the master bedroom with a nice big bed and a great, unobstructed view of the mountains. Shortly thereafter Stefan came in, saw the room options, and immediately moaned that he "needed" the master bedroom. When I asked why, he replied, "For the bed." (The unspoken part was "... you dumbass. Isn't it obvious that I'm about to score?!") The implication was that he wanted to have the big bed for his conquest, which would have to take place in the next night or two. At first I didn't want to give up my room for his childish pursuit, but as I didn't want to be blamed for standing in the way of this "romance", I eventually gave up my room for the small room with twin beds and a view blocked by a tree. And while I wish Stefan well in his pursuit, the last thing I want is to have my sleep disturbed by wild sex in the next room. (I've experienced that before, and believe me, it's not fun to be kept awake by sex in which one is not participating oneself.)
Now let me say that I have a firm understanding of the general desire that men have for sex. It is natural, healthy and normal. And it can happen that a man and a woman who happen to be on the same tour together really hit it off to such an extent that they just can't help themselves and end up in bed together. But in this case, and I've never seen such a blatant case of this, it is as if Stefan is saying to Natalie, "I'm on vacation. I rarely get a chance to be away from my wife like this. You are a woman. Please help me to fulfill my desire to have a vacation romance as a way to confirm my manhood. And by the way, I'm not particularly interested in you as a person. It's just that notch in my belt that I'm looking for."
I'm not a woman - and I'm the last one to claim to understand how women think. But I would have to guess that this sort of proposition does not exactly appeal to a woman's sensibilities. In fact, on the day that I had my long walk in Swaziland, it was with Natalie. We spoke of many topics, sex and relationships included. And one thing she told me was that while she generally enjoys men and friendships with them, she is disappointed that they always eventually come down to sex and that the man's unwarranted expectation of sex is usually the end of the relationship. If she was not lying to me, then this would suggest that she has no intention whatsoever of sleeping with Stefan - in which case I gave up my room, big bed and nice view for nothing.
All of this gave me a business idea, though: Tour companies could hire women to flirt with male customers like this, dangling the hope of sex in front of them, causing them to extend their trips - with the women in the end telling the guy "What do you think I am? Your expectations are your own business. I never told you to extend your trip."
Anyway, back to the plot: We spent most of the day driving from Durban to the Drakensville Vacation Resort in the Drakensberg Mountains, where we will spend the next two days and nights mostly hiking and enjoying the nature. This afternoon I spent reading and doing my laundry. Not as exciting as all of that romance talk, is it?
Another thing that I've been meaning to mention: Out of eight tour members, I am the only non-smoker. And not only do all of the other members smoke, they all absolutely LOVE to smoke - at any opportunity. If they could, they would smoke all the time. Luckily smoking is not permitted in the truck. But as soon as we stop - for any purpose - they all run out and have a cigarette. For the most part I try not to let them know how much it bothers me, but sometimes I just can't help commenting. I try not to criticize things that don't affect me and that are unchangeable. But this degree of love for smoking is something I have never seen. It happens that all of these smokers are European, which brings up a theory that I have developed over the years: If they are European, they probably smoke - and if they smoke, there is a good chance that they are European.
Out of gratitude that these people are "normal" (in comparison to my last group), I am trying to exhibit an extreme degree of tolerance for their impositions. I hope that they appreciate it!
25 July - Drakensberg Mountains
After an early breakfast and preparation of sandwiches for lunch, we set off in the very cold morning for a 45 minute drive to a scenic park, where we spent the day hiking and having a picnic at a waterfall before returning home. By afternoon the weather had turned perfect: Sunny, and neither cold nor hot.
Just as we were about to depart, Stefan the chain smoker got onto the truck with a lighted cigarette in his hand. I asked him not to smoke on the truck and he said that he wasn't smoking but that he was just carrying the cigarette onto the truck while he put something on it before getting off again. When he saw that I was angry with him he asked me whether it bothered me if he just walked onto the truck with a cigarette and then walked off again. I told him that his leaving the bus with a cigarette didn't bother me so much, but his getting on with one did. He apparently loves smoking so much that he is incapable of imagining that anyone could object to it. Well, he needs to realize that there are people who hate it as much as he loves it.
By the time we got home I was feeling exhausted again so I had a rest before what was for me the best dinner of the trip so far - an awesome cottage pie (mashed potatoes and cheese on top of a spicy ground beef) and a Greek salad. It was so good that I stuffed myself full. Actually even a bit past full. I then went back to my room to clean up and prepare for tomorrow's early departure for Lesotho while the rest of the group went out for a swim at the (over)heated indoor swimming pool.
