'The Deadly Bike!'
Trip Start
Oct 08, 2007
1
16
18
Trip End
Ongoing
Hampi,
India
Friday, February 22, 2008
A day where everything seems at least mildly amusing and the street vendors who jump out in front of me and gesticulate wildly to propel me into their shop don't seem quite so annoying as they did a few days ago. The sun is hot but it's still ok and the internet is slow but it isn't numbing my nerves.
It might be because I'm in Hampi..an ancient city full of crumbling temple remnants and rocks strewn around like the crumbs of a giant's biscuit...I ask one Indian tour guide why the rocks seem stacked, like carefully laid out building blocks one on top of the other and he answers me swifty and disgustedly,
'why Madam-lady, because they are rocks!'
Of course I reply
funnyfunny
. Sorry I asked.
...And I wonder again at the hundreds of questions I long to ask, some I even dare to and some I just think about constantly...
Now really, tell me, what does the Indian headshake wiggle thing actually mean? Does it mean yes...?
'Yes Madam', he tells me earnestly.
Or does it mean no...?
'Yes Madam'.
Or can it perhaps mean maybe...?
'Yes Madam'
So it means all three?
'Yes Madam'
OK.
'OK Madam. Yes please. You is liking the India Madam?'
...I do the Indian headshake wiggle and keep walking.
Maybe everything is so tolerable because of 'The Deadly Bike'. I've had it now for 3 days and it's like a second skin. I am currently attached to it and truly it's called 'The Deadly Bike'...and watch out cos I drive like a fiend on it, manipulating these cobbled roads all lined with mango and banana groves like I have wings of fire and the people are really scared. Really. They jump out of my way as I whistle past and stare long after the dust has settled behind me to wonder...just who is the flame behind the steering wheel...?
My greatest victory was scored yesterday when 4 cows blocked my path and as I approached them ringing my bell furiously, they parted briefly for a moment and I took my chance to slide through the gap with a skid and a flourish, shook my fist at them and nearly toppled into a French couple walking in the opposite direction
buybuybuybuybuybuybuybuybuybuybuybuybuybuy
. I felt obliged to explain when they looked questioningly at me to passionately tell them...THAT was for the cow who rammed me out of the way in a street in Allahabad when I was trying to mind my own business. THAT was for the cow who stepped on my shoelace in Jaipur and wouldn't move for 10 minutes, not even when I tried to heave it away. THAT was for the cow who I watched steal a shopping bag from an old crippled man in Lucknow who didn't have the strength to argue with it and lastly, THAT was for the cow on the beach in Goa who ate my friend's ipod earphones and stared impassively and unremorsefully at me when I screamed at it. This is my small victory. Now this is my road. Burn rubber!
I've heard from other travellers that Hampi can become a place to lose yourself...where time becomes only a necessity to think about and then only briefly when you are getting hungry or tired. It's true...I have lost time here and for that reason I booked my ticket to Kolcutta and am leaving in the next 2 days. I don't want to lose myself here right now as I have a real need to keep on moving at the moment. It does go against the Hampi vibe to move quickly around here BUT I defy that with every muscle and nerve in my body as I push (convincingly?!) 'The Deadly Bike' to its limits
deadly
.I have spent a long time boulder watching. I found the highest rock I could possibly scale and sat there for a long time looking out into this landscape that must at some ancient time been a huge and formiddable city. I think about nothing in particular, about the expanse and constrictions of time and the fact that since being in India I have developed many strange habits such as, staring, asking too many questions, growing an obsession with food and finding a drinkable coffee, discussing the diabolical state of the Indian coffee with other Westerners, picking my nose in public, learning random and rude Hindi and Marathi words...and did I mention staring...?
I had the worse night bus journey from Madikeri to Hospet. It was crammed with lots of staring Indian men who well, just stared...
and stared...
and stared.
We had a wheel puncture that resulted in a 2hour delay at a deserted bus station in the middle of nowhere and the Indians handled this as only they knew best. With many cups of chai, a lot of loud discussions about the situation and of course sitting around and waiting
!@#$#^$@!
.I ended up moving places 3 times because of uncomfortable seat partners to finally sit between an old grumpy man and a woman who never seemed to smile but insisted on sharing her grapes with me...at the very last moment however, before she left the bus and so perfectly timed as I was beginning to feel incrediably alone in the darkness she turned to me and gave me a smile that just split her face into a wonderful cascade of colours. I felt better then and finally I fell asleep for the last hour of my 15 hour journey thankful for these constant ever-changing moments.
Perhaps I realise suddenly, in a astonishing moment of clarity, that I am actually in a Monty Python script...which is in fact just India.
Full stop. Fact.
It is these clumsy and rude waiters, the often absurd situations I find myself in, the animated and cartoon characters of the shopkeepers and hotel managers that the day throws at me...and which I am sure the Monty Python team spent some time here researching, watching...staring at for their films....AND so with this idea in mind I resolve to write myself in as the bystander character who just happens to end up in a magnificently comical and ridiculous drama.
walking
Madikeri was wonderful, full of coffee planatations and forests...the aroma as I hit the small town was one of spice - namely cardoman, coffee and expectation. I wandered around the town for a day sampling the excellent masala dosa and trying to find a good coffee. God damn. Just where is the good coffee in India if not here, right on the doorstep of a planatation? But it's not here. Just the usual muddy nescafe. I go on a trek and study with furious intensity the coffee bean and cardamons hanging from the trees and bushes and wonder at the journey they take to reach our homes. I even venture to 'Abhi Falls', a gentle waterfall that echoes a soothing rhythm into this peaceful atmosphere. On the way down towards the bridge I joke and talk with the monks of a Buddism settlement 1km away from the town and their laughter and words are as gentle as the flowing water running past me. I like them a lot.
I forget to tell you that I passed through Bangalore and immediately liked it. There seemed more of a system happening there than any other city I've been to in India I thought. Maybe I've said this about other places already. But really, there it seemed that the traffic not so chaotic...the horns not so loud and so frequently used and the people not so fiercely pushy. BUT it is a centre of shopping and so I hurried away from there as fast as my non-shopping legs could manage to...
And so I am here and beginning to fall inlove with Hampi and its sweet pace of life...I think that when I move on from here I will miss my 'Deadly Bike' and boulder watching and this arid, hot dusty landscape of a once wealthy and rich civilisation...But time must move on...
At least for me.
Comments
How wonderful....with all those photos too!
Hi Anna...we've been waiting for the pictures! and now we see as well as hear about all those amazing contrasts that are.....INDIA! the colours, smells, sights, people, children, places, customs.....all come to life...and I did always wonder about the Indian headshake wiggle. How does one master that?! you'll have to teach us! Keep a lookout for those cows...I expect they may be in competition with elephants and monkeys?!
It's BAn-ANNas!
Hi there bananna boo. You're travels seem so exciting! I haven't been reading them all because i'm studying sooooooooooooo hard!! But they brighten up the day......i wish i could join u!..