Taoyuan, Taiwan
Monday, December 15, 2008
Back in March I was assigned 'outside Gloria classes'. These are classes that go down either at some business or Junior High School of some sort. I felt pretty honored actually because these kids were supposed to be 'the cream of the crop' and rather advanced in their English ability. Don't get me wrong...sometimes I like the endless games and very basic lingo you get to teach at the kindy (kindergarten) level...but would also like to have a decent conversation every once in a while. Conversations in which I don't have to stop and think to always find the most simplified way to say things before I say them...or keep my verb tenses to the past simple, present simple and future simple. LOL. It was also very weird...being in a junior high school...with the blackboard and chalk and old-school aura about it. I had many flashbacks to my own junior high school days the first month I taught them. The first thing I discovered about my students is that...they are ALL perverts. Maybe it's because they are all around 12, 13 and 14 years of age...and their hormones have kicked into overdrive...but whatever the reason...perverts they are! I teach there every second Tuesday from 10 AM - 12 PM and then a second class from 1 PM to 3 PM. The morning class was moderately perverted....but the afternoon class is extremely perverted. This one student...refused to tell me his real name....and I had to refer to him as 'Sexy Monkey Tail' for the first hour of class. Until someone finally decided to tell me his name was Vincent. The first topic was 'Friends'. One of the questions was 'Where do you like to hang out with your friends'? Vincent put his hand up and said 'The love motel'. This earned giggles from the whole class and an inward groan from me. I was like...'Um, that's great. Any OTHER places"?. The next question was 'What do you like to do with your friends'? Another student, by the name of Sam put his hand up and said 'Make babies'. At this point I was like...'Good lord, what HAVE I gotten myself into"?! LOL. In subsquent classes they always found ways to sneak in sexual inuendos (usually involving a chimpanzee, I'm not quite sure I understand their obssession with the word...and/or animal). I finally had to tell them they had to keep their comments PG13. So now...they say things like 'Doing things that are tiring'. (when they are referring to sex. One day I was talking about how magazines like to use pictures of sexy men and women on their cover. Sam immediately put his hand up. 'Teacher, you said we couldn't talk about sex'! 'Sam, baby...I WASN'T. Sexy is an adjective...you are allowed to use adjectives...you just can't use the NOUN or the VERB'! (You know you're a teacher WHEN....LOL). Defeated, Sam put his hand down and pouted for the rest of the class.
It's been very interesting teaching these kids so far. Most of the time the two hours are just non-stop laughter. Some of the things that come out of their mouths! They have told me about their childhoods, Taiwanese festivals/customs and favorite books. Every week I give them an assignment of some sort. No written work...which is nice. I just have to get them talking...which is funny...cuz sometimes I can't get them to STOP talking!
UPDATE:
I was re-assigned the same class (now grade 8 level) for another semester. The school specifically requested me...which is a nice feeling for sure! Much of the same happened...the perverse students and the non-stop laughter. I got to teach them for a full school year. I wish I could keep teaching them until they graduated, but alas...I won't be in Taiwan forever.
