|
  | |  |
excuses....
Entry 30 of 31 | show all | print this entry |
sooorrrrryyyyyyyysooorrrrrryyyyyosooooorrrrrryyyyyyyssssoooo ooooorrrrrryyyyyy ssoooooororrrrrrrrryyyyyyssooooooorrrryyyyysssssssssssoooooo ooooooooooooorr
sssssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rryyyyyyyyyyyyyy
lots of grovelling and more and more and more grovelling to come. i will lick all fo your shoes when i get home and i shall spit polish the dining room floor with my bare hands to atone for being so useless!
There is no time in Airlie Beach: if you want it to be new year,... Hurrah happy new year to you all, which does remind me
HAPPY EASTER .... nearly! unfortunately i cant habve an easter egg thi9s year beacuse not only is it very sad to have to buy your own eggs but chocolate over here doesnt taste the saeme, they have to out a chemical into the choc to stop it melting. random fact number1) i met a kiwi the other day who was convinced that cadburys was kiwi and that was corroborated by all the aussies in the near vicinity. i have great respect for aussies and kiwis and i live them all dearly but due to this gross indececny and unforgivable slur on the behalf of all english chocolate i shall be a little warier with my praise in future. SHOCKED AND HORRIFIED deosnt even cover it. Trent says he loves it when i am angry becuase i become very british and then he and all the boys can take the mick properly- it isnt so easier when i am speaking normally!
(by the way... this could be a long read.)
anyway 1st things 1st. i am alive, congratulations if you hadnt already surmised this important fact- now you all know and i would like to apologise for the intermittant period of non communication where you may have not been sure or maybe just cursing the fact that i am having so much fun in the sun that i had sorty of forgotten that i hadnt done a travelpod in an inexcusably long time! i love airlie beach. it is fully walkable in about 5 minutes and requires nothing more that a pair of thongs, swimmers and boardies to look the part. maybe a dress in the eveing but that really is as far as it goes. this place is casual heaven- the only people in heels are eitehr lost or from essex (sorry yann- you only study there....i know that) and add too much makeup and you are positively out of place- being a local now i am allowed to klaugh at hapless-try hard backpackers who get all dressed up and then prooverbially shat upon by trpical rainstorms and the tropical heat and humidity with nmelts all the makeup off anyway! i am now living, and i mean living not staying in seaview backpackers at the jubilee pocket end of town, halfway to shute harbour. it is a backpackers but there is a core group iof us who are there more or less permantly and it is like going home when i get off form work- the boys trent eddie billy and ian, tracy, mina, wsarah occasionally and myself. it has gotten to the point where tracy , trent and i wokr together and we all know everyone elses timetables. i gtoo back from a double trip yesterday anjhd the boys saw me walk up the drive and the forst thing they said was " go get changes" dinnre is in 45 minutes and i sat down to a botte of rosemount estate- king island steak , mash, veg and gravy. i love thos boys... all i had to do was wash up! before you even say it mum- yes i am normally drunk and i have to all intensive purposes been permantly pissed since i arrived in airlie beach. it is shocking easy bto do and so for the sake of my liver, sanity and sleep patterns; i dont srink on tuesdays! very proud of myself for that one. jeager bombs and VB are a vice (vb is victoria bitter but in the inncer circle of drunkards we affectiantlely refer to it as vitamin beer!) howwever i am still in that revolting downward spiral of Goon which i have no doscovered is so much more palatable with lemonade making it actuallty drinkable.
Goon... oxford definition. white, red or roset wine in a box. normally aquired in amounts of 4 litres for approx $10 made with the adi of fish or eggs: traces may remain! it isnt plonk- its justGoon and my life it is good fun for a balcony party! of which there are many- nathan busted his foot last friday night ebcuase he jumped of the roof into the swimming pool!
last time i told you i was going to do a volly trip on pride of airlie as a dishy... so far so good and i have since done a trip on Kora, pride again, T3 and pegasus (alson known as the gay pride) i love all of it.
on pride it is maybe the easiest job i have ever done in my entore life. it requires little or no effort apart fomr the odd hour or so mad celanign bout and the fact that we have to gtet up at 6 to make breakfast,. i havnt managed to kill anybody yet and i think that managing bacon for 130 peole and running steak on teh barbie foro the same amount as well is quite impressibve especially for me (yann... say one thing or even think about that bacon io made you and i shall not be impressed! :) i have to celan the whole boat and wash all the surfaes and walls every second day- keep 70 passengers happy and serve lunch.
this is the offical stuff; from experience i know different. pride of airlie and Kora by the way are basdically the same boat- we both join up at whitehave beach- the snorkelling and at south molle island resort (3 star byt the way...) and so the job is exactly the same on both of them.
basically i am employed to do the following...
1) get passengers pissed during the day on the boat
2) get passengers pissed int eh eveing when they get off the boat
3) get pissed
4) when pissed get eth passengers even more pissed
5) wake up and give them brekkie to fix hangovers
6) repeat preivios day
7)repeat previos day
8) when back on teh mainland go out for the boat party afterwards and get pissed for free again...
did i mention all my booze is free... as the humanitartians say- there are starving people in Africa. waste not want not! HAHA ;) i had to laugh whwen i first got on the boat though and spoke to my skipper for the first time. the man (as every other many in airlie beach acxtually) is a slut. face it these divies, deckies and skippers get a fresh supply of backpackers every 3 days and apparentyly practice makes perfect! but i went over and introdeuced myself; he didnt even bother with the nicecties... and i quote " i dont give a damn if you dont wash- cook-clean or do anyting else on this boat as long as you know one thing and one thing only. YOU are my wingman!" wer have bobs ans wobs in the marina. best on board and worst on board. i have to stand on the deck with the passsenger list and as the passengers get on i have to asess the girls and tick the bobs... and then am supposed to go and sweet talk them and try and get them interest in the skipper/ deckie/ techie. i laughed obviosly. these girls are NOT interested in the slightesyt in a lascivious lecherous boat driver (most of the time) adn itdoesnt matter how many btimes i warn the boys... if you try to hard for bob youll get wobbed; and i am always right! not that i am in any way colluding with them here but i dis work out a better plan of attack. sleep with a girl from the other boat on the first night of the trip and then you wouldnt have to put up with the grief for the next 2 days if it wall went horribly wrong/ you couldnt remember what she looked like/ wasnt just a wob but a WOB which is obviosly a very serious predicament to be in. the boys now worshiop me after i imparted this essential wisdom and i now dont have to carry any of my won crates or boxes at all. Brilliant! T3 and Pegasus are boats from adifferent company- tallarook and they are far more sailing and diving orientated but party just as hard. i went out on T3 last week on a 3 day trip and as fun as it is cramped only just begins to cover it- you have 23 people in a very small space with hardly any deck and my galley is in the wheelhouse- i have to cook EVERYTHING on the barbie- even have to lash the pans to the handle so that i can boil up my pasta on the hotplate. and believe me when it is the main fare, 20 people eat a LOT of bloody pasta! we had a fun trip- the weather was amazing and i dont think i am ever goi ng to get tired of those sunsets. there is something very special about knowing that the sun os going down on at the end of the world and there is nothing between you and america but an awful lot of water and stars; it is a perpetual state of awe that you can never quite shake no matter how many trips you do.
we chuck the passengers intp the ater for a bit of snorkelling- take a few divign and then a few more; wish i couldf dive. it is the one thing i feel i am missing out on- ears however say UHUH and who am i to argue
makes me feel a little better about my wobbly bits though... i have discovered NO-ONE and i mean no-one can possibly look sexy in a stinger suit so it doesnt matter!
scond night on T3 was a giggle, we rafted up (SHHHHHH highyl illegal btw) and had a joint boat party- good good fun. 'snorkel bong' is definatly a game to play at the next garden party when i get home! i then got blackmailed into going onto pegasus for a straight trip meaning i would have been at sea for 9 days straihgt, i got back yesterday and have nevr been so pathertcially greatful for a shower in my entire life. no only was i hot sticky and sweaty for reasons i will say in a sec but peg and T3 are in astate of perpetual war and throw water baloons at each other and perform night time sabotage. i sepnt an hour in the tender one night with a jam pan full of vegemite- jam- loo roll- - worcester sauce- tomato sauce and mayonnoaise smearing all over the hull of Pegasus and then in the morning having to clear the rancid mess off our boat that they had thrown in retailition! fun and war games is all good!
anyway. ..
Crisis 1st day on peg
crew: myself, greg the divie, rach the cook and dale as skipper. omen no1 i have no sailing exp, rach has no sailing exp and divie had basica ability such as he can competatl;y put up the headsail and run the tender but that is about ti. omen no.2 last week peg had a localised electrical fire... patched up but not replaced... we happily pick up our 30 passengers and set out motors going to our first port of call hook bay for some snorkelkling and wave at the other boats as we cruise past gaily. sleep and get up in the morning, blithely setting off for whitehaven suspectibng nothing of the nightmare to come.... chuck off pasengers to the beach and we start to clean and cookas skipper plays with faulty lights... he then f=goes to kick start the engine to get the generator going to check lights and ... nothing.
everythink was blown: we had no starter motor, no generator, no alternator and more improtantly no anchor winch and with 70 foot of chain let out by accident earlier and with an 88 ton concrete boat with a jammy mainsail- we did waht any sane peopel woul;d do in that situation; swore, a lot. i broke every nail to the qick and have indeible ingrained my skin with oil from having to help the divie MANUALLY haul up 70 foot of anchor chain we then managed on headsail; get to cateran bay 3 hours later than scheduled, went diving while having to get girls to pee in buckets abnd guys off the side as we couldnt flush toilfts that we had had to dismantle 3 times already (thie trip was just getting funny by this point, i swear if any german or swedish girls EVER put tampax into a marine toilet again i am going to get VERY grapic with my safety demonsterations! yann- the embarrasment that meston used to cause is nothing compared with what i can visually acheive with a little bit of red food couloring!) haha, anyway we then had to get the T3 to tow us to the Nara inlet
take note 13 ton boat towuing an 88 tone boat; i thought it was funny! had to couple ourselves to their spare generator so we could have lights, toilets again (strange how uyou start to appreciate the smaller things in life) and so we could cook for who were by now very very hungry backp[ackers . next da7y was just as funny as we managed after a couple of hours backbreaking hauling and shimmying up poles to fix the mainsail and bombed it back home at 12 knots, sailing properly is such a buzz- best feeling in the world whwn you can see giant turtles surfacing all around you- dolpins swimming and leaping at the brow of the ship(sawa bull shark on prode as well!) it is just magic, this is a different worls and it is not a job- this is a lifestyle i shall be very loathe to give up. then wehn we got back to the marina we had to get nudged in by 2 tenders. perpective wise we were cracking up- it was like tring to get a moped to pull in a bulldozer very amusing. i finally have a real job and i start my koalas contract next week- working on pride for 2 trips straight and a few days off and then im on kora for 8 days straihgts, i really miing by teh end of these trips by the wya- it is unbelieavbly foul... imagine how strawlike, knotty and greasy my nhair can get. triple that, cover me in flakes of salt, add a lot of bruises and throw in acouple nmore for fun and add a few skinned knees- the hardest feet in thw world and engine grime and i am a sexy beast ready to party. alcohol is great- the more you drink the less you mind the smell....hurrah!
i havnt got an alias yet though... i work with red the head, biggus dikkus and B.O.B who thinks that he is the best on board. so far i have been introduced to my passengers as susize the wench at your beci and call 28 hourrs a day for nosepicking , suncream application and massages anywhere you want them. dont worry mum- i dont do it, believe me if someone woke me up in the misddle of the night (for which i dont even get air condition ing ) for a backscratch i promise i would not only bear similarities but i would become a carbon copy of you with PMT and that passenger on a small boat would have nowhere to run... hurrah!
other than that not much happens in airlie beach, i laze by the lagoon, i party, i cook for the boys, i go busking with the boys; weve a professional busker in the hostel with a clarinet and we take the clarinet out, 2 didjes and the bongos (i am the caddy i just carry qall the stuff) we sist outside heebees and busk ibn the eveenigns! random joy at its greatest,. we have set sessions with the guitars and the didjes outside the hostel, i clean the hostel in the mornings as muich as i can becuase then i can get fre accomodation somethimes. i help in recetiion,we get drunk lots. maybe drink some more. i hang out wiht all the guys from the boats and so i get to go to all the boat parties, i stayed on the lerida houseboat for a few days; it has a spa! and had the most insane pre paddys day bparty covereed head to toe in green facepaints with stuipid hats on in the spa trying to do riverdance to hoedown music on the bottom! i love aiarlie beach and i love the boats- i always wanted to job that was more randomly australian than just a bar or a waitressibng job and for a little while at least i think i have found it. i am not raking it in, nor will i probably but at least whn i am on the boats i cant spen money- i get to eat lots of vegetables and it is free accommodation. like being on a floating hostel i get to meet new people constantly while still having the comfort of mucking around
aorund with the crew. oh, an another cool thing is staff only signs. i know this is very sad but the are very excititng i promise, i love that concept of being staff and being allowed to do thinkgs other peopel cant. it sint a superiority complex but mkerely like being a little kid and getting a special go at something forst. exciting though the washing up i am sure will eventually start to lose its novetly fairly quickly! i went to the eaterfalls the toher day as well actually. cedar creek falls were absolutely beautiful. 55 foot of sheer rock face. i didnt jump off the top but i will ebfoer i leave airlie just to prove top myself that i can. Almost like a very wet skydive that i will eventually do when i get to mission beach. ive a week off soon and maybe ill take a roadtrip with the guys and go discover a little more to airlie than just the esplanade!
yann, your very very very long letter is in the post and i love you and miss you- i just nevr get a chance to sit and write a long eough email to you that i feel comy with- i really want to just sit and have a proper chinwag so you can tell me off properly xxx
Happy easter again everybody- jay, you know how i feel about a certain trip... haha, love it anyway xxx
sarah, i love you poppet xxx
katie G. you will tell me about that big festering pustulating waste of space and oxygen problem that you have. detail by singel detail! xxx
Banfield... 108% blonde. that is disgusting, utterly repulsive- go dye your hair NOW! XXX
lots and lots and lots of love suzie xxx i hope this was enough of an update xxx
p.s i bought a didj
p.p.s i am having didj lessons!
Latest Comments (2)
|
oh suzie! (reply)
Apr 1, 2007 08:18 EST by kathrynbanfield
part of me feelings u need barading for that incoherent mess of an entry. most of me knows it won't make a difference. xxxxxxxxxxx
|
|
i hate this stupid title bar- I never have a title (reply)
Mar 26, 2007 05:27 EST by eskimosarah
lol go to your nearest book shop and buy yourself a how to sail a dinghy book- it'll stand you in good stead!! glad you're having a ball miss you lots! have my young austria interview on Tuesday night which is pretty awesome!! talk soon.
x x x
|
 Post a new comment |
|
If you like this entry, search for other entries from Australia or try a new search. |
| |
Back to Entry - Back to Home
|
4 votes 
