The employed life
Trip Start Dec 11, 2012
70Trip End Oct 17, 2013
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Our first day started well. Like the responsible employees we are, we set our alarm for 6.30am in order to be there for the breakfast shift at 7.20am. Blindly stumbling around in the dark, stabbing our eyes with eyeliner, it took us a full 20 minutes to realize that it was only 5.50am - time difference can be a real bitch sometimes. We went straight back to bed in the position of the rictus, so as not to have to redo any makeup or hair
Breakfast is a buffet and all we have to do is offer coffee and eggs, reset tables and generally blend into the background. That, and try not to dig our fingers into the cake (only Austrians have Marmur Kuchen for breakfast. Such a civilized people). Lunch can either be your best friend, i.e. all the guests are on the ski slopes! Whoohoo!, or your worst enemy i.e. all the nonguests have come in from the neighboring ski slope and you are the only person on duty with a table of 7, 5, 4 and another 6 for good measure. And they all order drinks you've never even heard of, let alone know how to make. Here is a quick Austrian beverage guide 101 for you: Spetzi (the most popular soft drink would you believe) is half Fanta, half Coke; a Radler is beer and Sprite; a kleiner Piltz is simply a small beer, it is always assumed that mineral water is soda water and almost 98% of the time juice (think stuff like Mangobango and Erdbaerbodler) orders are "gespritzt", meaning they are half soda water. Now just think that nothing comes in a bottle and that everything is on tap. You feel our pain? My table of men couldn't believe I didn't know most beer types - they might have been making fun of me, but I don't understand the Austrian dialect half the time, so I can't be too sure (I'm pretty sure). Supper is my happy place, as you keep busy, half the time there is a set menu and you charge to the room - no having to split the bill here (unlike in South Africa, here the waiter has to split the bill so that each customer gets their own individual slip. Try that with a table of 7!).
And I suppose you want to meet the rest of the staff? There are five of us waiters
Now that we have two nine hour shifts under our belts, things seem a lot less scary. Claudia became a little girl's hero when she killed a spider, being the Namibian plaas meisie that she is. Gigi and Eloise were practically standing on the table. I survived the hellish two hour solo lunch shift and managed to fluke my way (somewhat unsuccessfully) through the drinks orders, while Claudia bathed a customer in chips.
And now to go off to Hinterglemm's only disco (not a nightclub - nightclubs here are brothels) because we have the day off tomorrow. Oh yeah.
*code names have been given