Delhi Belly...
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Delhi,
India
Friday, December 7, 2007
Well, I have returned, finally, to Delhi after a crazy three day, two night stint in Punjab, Amritsar. I came in last night by a cockroach-infested train which was actually perfect... Back to reality.
Amritsar... I was so spoiled, and so welcomed, and so lucky. The Gill family took me in with all their hearts and it was just such a splendid experience. I have to say that I was a little bit taken aback by the opulence- especially in comparison with the streets I had basically been beating through Varanasi for the few days prior... But in retrospect, as everything's been hitting me here, it was another really amazing experience... and I don't know what god of fortune is smiling upon me, but I'm basking in the glow of those straight, shiny teeth.
Ameena left home for the US on the 5th, and since it didn't make much sense to me when I booked my ticket to stay for just one night, I'd booked myself to leave on the 6th... Thinking that it would be easy to find a guest house or whatever if the home scene felt weird, or if I should just not be around for other family stuff or whatever. BUT. I left everyone sort of on purpose to cruise around by myself on the 5th after shopping with Ameena and Madhu so that Ameena could say proper goodbyes to her family, and then fortunately ran in to them as they were headed to the airport to drop her as I headed back to the house by motorickshaw. I just went back there and chatted with the neice- she's studying to go to medical school. I spoke with Mom about this today, this morning (some days last for three weeks, I swear) and told her about how all the women / girls in the family (with the aid of finaces) were aiming REALLY high, and how the men were distant and at least in this family, satisfied with obtaining the family business and the status quo.. Although when left in the car alone for a few minutes with Ameena's 17 year old brother, we spoke briefly about how badly he wanted to get out of India and go to the US to live as opposed to visiting as he had been doing two months a year basically since birth. I had no idea up to that moment that he actually spoke any English at all, and actually also sounded quite like someone FROM the US- like Ameena; that's how out of touch the women / girls' side of things are with the mens' social calendar. Anyway... Yeah.
I got back to the house, and Madhu came back eventually (the whole family did, but the men disappeared into the woodwork) and we had tea and talked about the education that the women were getting in the household and her son's lack of ambition.. .Not that it was a bad thing, it was all just really an interesting phenomenon for me. Her two daughters: Ameena has a degree in chemical engineering, and her other daughter (nickname, Rachell, she asked me the correct spelling and I told her; she said, "I will change." and I said.. "Madhu- she's YOUR KID! Call her what you want!" It was funny and cute.) is in med school, and her son has no interest in anything past inheriting his father's business. He's also 17, so, who can blame him, or even ask him to know what his passion could be, really... I asked him, when we were alone in the car together, to suggest some pop Punjabi music for me, so I'll be shopping for those names when I get home. ...Tangent.
So.. Madhu was understandably really sad. We had tea and then the maid had dinner ready, I had a bite and then said that I'd be off to my quarters (I can't help but say that- I said "room" to her) to read, write, think, whatever... And so I was.
Again, the next day, I am already awake, but the maid has taken notice that I like the milk sweets more than the cookies, so this day, I am served hot tea and a plate full of burfi sweets, and no biscuits, as I haven't touched them any other time, as I dress. After dressing, I went in to the main house and then Madhu's bedroom and typed away at a few emails while we chatted. She was still sad but sitting in bed wrapped in woolen blankets as I was on her computer and we talked, she watching some TV, me drinking tea and typing. (That's when I uploaded my last few photos. Her son has optimized their at-home internet (unheard of in this country, before then, to me- and it was super-fast to get some photos up.) So we talked... about Indian culture, her kids, her life, my life, my family, just really neat. Over tea and milk sweets. Oh, I already miss those sweets. Oh my god. Yum.
By the way, my big winter diet plan so far is a huge flop. And I mean that literally. HUGE. I am having the other Delhi Belly. The Anti-Delhi-Belly. ...Delhi Jelly Belly.
Soooo... Then, I had already seen the Golden Temple and had the opportunity to do a little jewelry shopping with Madhu and Ameena the day prior, but Madhu and I had talked the night before about me wanting to find a shawl shop- I was particularly inclined to find a shawl that had a traditional Pakistani border (so I found out) that one of the mothers was wearing the night before... Oh yeah, I sat with all the ladies- I guess it was the first night- after the wedding and the trippy-ass border thing- and listened to the lilt of their voices and the Punjabi language intermixed with English words..."notunderstandable speakingbutpretty sounds MOTORCAR can'tunderstandanything everyone laughingnow verynice CUPPLATE notsurewhat'sgoingon hearingthat oneindian wordagain TEEGG HA andIknowthatone butagain notunderstandinganything andverypretty soundslilting upanddown laughingand nownotgetting itand feelingdumbbutthen WEDDINGPARTY." It's crazy how the english is just woven into the Punjabi (and Hindi, etc) languages, and how you can pick it up and lose it again- immediately- if the context isn't obvious.
Anyway, during that evening of listening and watching, I'd noticed that all the ladies had beautiful woven woolen shawls, so I'd asked Madhu about that, and she asked me while I was typing and having my tea the next day about what I wanted to spend, and that she would drop me there. So... After the power went out, I took a hot shower.... Ohhh miss hot shower, already, ohh.. and then hopped in to the car with her. At first, she was just going to find a shop for me and drop me off, but then, she sort of shyly asked if I wanted her to go with me, and I said OH YES, and so she came in, and helped me ask for colors, etc., and it was JUST the shop I was looking for and in the price range (she'd asked) and I found the best shawls, all of which will be coming to the states via hopefully DHL tomorrow.. Anyway, it was a set-price shop, which to foreigners like me is a blessing, but she told the owner that I "am a guest and so as a guest, need a discount" or something- more of the "guest is god" mentality thing- so she got 275 or so rupees knocked off my ticket. Oh, what a success, I got such beautiful shawls, and with such expert help! We then proceeded to spend the afternoon together doing her errands and shopping, and stopped at a traditional Punjab shoe shop for a pair of shoes for me, got her hair done for the wedding festiviteis that night, stopped at her jeweler's, at her suit-maker people, at the grocery store.. All in all, I had the best day ever. She was so fun and so sweet. And just a kick to boot... We at one point ran in to a group of hermaphrodite people- I can't remember the Indian name- they rove the streets and live off charity, I've read about them, but didn't, and hadn't, expected to run in to any. We were driving and she pulled over; I guess getting a coin from one of them is good luck, so she was speaking Punjabi and got a coin and then gave them some rupees. I was in total stunned / shocked space and wanting OH SO BADLY to take a photo, but didn't know protocol, so I just watched. After the transaction, we'd turned around and headed towards home, and I was like... Oh, Madhu, I really want a picture. So she said... Ok, they move very fast... We'll try and see if we are lucky to find them... and we turned around and I spotted them swishing down a street a few down. She whips down the street and I have rupees ready, and take a photo out the window. Meanwhile, she spots a business associate / friend of her husband's, and she says, oh no! He can't see us; my husband will not like me talking to them... So it was like this whole illicit thing- we were laughing, I gave them money, got my picture, which I will post here later, and then we were off like a flash- I thought for a moment that I should duck under the dash but realized that it would not be ME who was recognized. It was so fun.
Anyway- what a day. I can't say how grateful I am for the Gill family putting me up and making me feel so at home. I wrote in my journal about how tough re-entry would be after what I virtually felt was like spending three days at a spa... But here I am now in Delhi after arriving last night on a roach-infested train. Boo-YAH! Oh, I also met a wonderful woman sitting next to me (actually I sat in the wrong seat, so she said it was luck and God's will and so forth..) but she took the mother role for me on the train on in to Delhi.
Unbelievable. Anyway. Yeah. I'm here in Delhi now. I took Kunal to the Gandhi Smitri memorial museum (he's never been; lives in Delhi and got an eyeful of history today) and then out to dinner at a bar where he wouldn't be recognized. It's a big town but a small town at the same time! Funny, sort of. So then dinner, and then we hung out for a while, and he will help me get to the post and also to the toilet museum ( I MUST... it's a haul out by the airport, but I don't care if cab fare is $10, I have to go to the toilet museum) and then he'll be joining me on a BUS, that's right, BUS, kids, Indian BUS, to Jaipur on Sunday. It feels a little weird bringing him along, but on the other hand, I can really use the help navigating, and he's never been outside of Delhi, other than his village in the east. He has a degree in chemical engineering from Bombay and is now working as a travel agent at a hotel that is now closed in Delhi. I think it's the least I can do for us both to buy us a bus ticket to Jaipur.
Okay then- things are good, things are great. Lessons to remember: Guest is god, and please tell God where to buy a beautiful Pakistani pattern shawl when you see him/her, and get a good price; and also bring God around to take photos of Indian hermaphrodites dressed as Punjabi drag queens even if it may incur the wrath of your husband.
With love to all,
Andrea
