Casteing Call!
Trip Start
Nov 21, 2007
1
10
18
Trip End
Dec 30, 2007
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Amritsar,
India
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Barely made the flight in the morning from Delhi to Amritsar yesterday... My driver insisted on stopping for tea... "Only two minutes." Two minutes is never two minutes, and I knew that, but didn't realize it would be cutting it THAT close. It did. But- the nice guy at the airport hurried me up to the front of all the lines- I got on the plane with all KINDS of stuff you're not supposed to bring, as I had intended to check my bag that has the liquids, lighters, knife, etc... Wutev, fine by me. Up, then and down and in Amritsar. Right away I could tell that this place is different than where I've been- quieter, calmer in the airport even if it was just 6:45 in the morning. Sun is rising, I walk around, the friendliest guard in the world is concerned for me, my tea intake so far that morning, and my ride friom the airport. I knew Ameena would be along shortly with their driver and I'd be on my way.
Ameena came with their driver, and I was whisked off to the most beautiful home I could have imagined here. It's wedding time for the family, so there are folks everywhere, but I was given a room (in a separate guest house, they have full rooms with their own dressing quarters and bathrooms, including marble tubs)... Then the house servant brought me tea, and snacks, and... I had my first hot shower of the trip. Wow. We had to hurry to be off for the festivities, so despite my two hours of sleep, I put a good face on as well as a borrowed "suit" (when Ameena first suggested that to me, I thought...
Sunrise at Amritsar Airport
Grey flannel, heels?? Weird... But no, it's the punjab top and pants. Apparently mine was from one of the top Indian designers) and we were off to the wedding!Well, actually, we were off to the wedding house. Here's what sucks: I forgot to charge my camera battery the night before, so I didn't get to take any photos with my camera, but Ameena has a ton on hers. So.. The wedding house. The groom is a cousin (second?) of Ameena's, so we were at the groom's house. It's a Sikh wedding, in full tradition. At the wedding house, there were greetings and then pictures and then money-swirling around the groom's head, around the brothers and fathers and so forth, and then he got on the horse (it's just tradition) and then off again and in to a car. It was a lengthy process, but really interesting to watch.
Then.. Off to the wedding. Rather, the food and celebratory part. We had to wait to come as a group (driving in a huge procession is part of the deal; it's a big show...) Once we got there, there was waiting for the groom to come, and then apparently the bride was already there, and there was a lot of ritual stuff- like the brid's sisters "barter" for the hand of their sister, it's a funny thing, apparently, I didn't understand a word, but everyone was laughing. Then we finally go in and there are people coming at you with soda, juices, water, tea.. Coming at you repetitively... Snacks (pakora, nuts, raisins... Trays at first and then it graduated to catering carts)... and THEN you go eat breakfast in the main hall.
Ameena and Madhu, shopping
Then you come out again and there's more snacks and meals coming at you than you can believe. I think there had to be one serving guy for every 7 people there. I was doing the math.Anyway... Madhu, Ameena's mom, took me to the ceremony (Ameena is pretty over it- she's been to a few since she came home) and you sit in the temple and watch these people get married, staring straight ahead.. No emotion whatsoever through the whole thing. It was an arranged marriage, apparently they've spoken on the phone a few times but that's it. I guess if that's your culture and all you know, you wouldn't maybe be f*ing terrified...?!?!?! Well, it was weird. But the family seemed happy and once the actual nuptuals were over, the bride and groom were smiling. If it was me, I'd be smiling because at least it was finally over.
Oh yes- Madhu has been so sweet- and it was so weird- midway through the ceremony, she found us a seat right up front (so I could see better and see the real Indian wedding experience..) and then the whole thing is being photographed and videoed by these three guys, and then I have the horrible realization that I am sitting basically in between the groom's mother and his sisters (oh, but just in front of his mother). Apparently that doesn't mean anything in this culture.. But forever more... "...Who is that white girl in between Mom and Sis..? ...In every single wedding photo?" Oh well. At least I had a ringside seat.
So, that was really weird, but it was really cool.
Golden Temple courtyard
I had lots of questions for Madhu and she did her best to answer them all! We went back to the ceremony, and then the bride and groom are put on a couch next to the entertainment- which was so weird and campy... It was Bollywood lip-synched Punjabi folk dancing to tracked music, big extravagant bright costumes, huge freaky smiles.. And on stage right, we had the children's bounce house, a really weird clown (damn camera battery) and Mickey Mouse dancing to Punjab beats. Totally Alice in Wonderland kind of weird. What did they put in that juice...? The wedding apparently lasts about a week and is filled with all kinds of busy ceremonies, people getting together.. My philosophy is that the bride and groom, not knowing each other, are thrown in to the middle of all this turmoil for a week after spending months preparing for nothing but wedding, wedding... And so it forms a bond between them. Plus, they are so busy, they don't get left alone with any uncomfortable silence until this is all over. They didn't even look at each other during the wedding!
Anyway- Amazing house that I've been put up at. I have been fed, bathed, laundered, tea'd, driven, etc.. This morning I was woken by a knock on my door, the servant came to bring me tea and snacks (Barfi? I don't know the spelling of it but it's SO GOOD. Pure milk solids, sugar, and butter, basically... Cookie dough). It's so so so weird coming from Varanasi to this. Apparently where Ameena's family lives is basically old money- caste system in action. They are wonderful people, it is just so interesting to see how the family dynamic works a little (Dad is the provider; he is not at all social. Mom takes care of the family and the house and the social stuff with the other ladies. She directs the house staff to take care of the family.. And the guests. "Guest is God," she said to me.)
Well, we went shopping together, and then they (Madhu and Ameena) went back to the house. I am supposed to call when I'm done with the Golden Temple (which I now am) but I think I'll get myself back to the house and call it good. I'll write more later about what a trip this part of the journey has been. Oh yeah!! Went and saw the Pakistan border/ritual last night. Really cool! I could have spit in to Pakistan (if I was a really good shot).
OK- things are good- I am spoiled for the time being- been great, but I miss stepping in shit. Back to Delhi tomorrow!
