To love or not, is a question
Trip Start
Unknown
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3
5
Trip End
Ongoing
Cochin,
Kerala,
India
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
To like somebody without loosing yourself control is such a mission impossible. To like, to appreciate, to enjoy the beauty of one another is such a passionate task in nature that being devoid of flare of emotion is just simply not a very logical thing in nature.
I have been trying very hard to control my unbridled passion or compassion for any other person since the day I signed on the ship. The romance, the affair, the human side of me should be hidden under a heavy blanket and away from sun rays. La passion, the fountain of joy and trouble all together. What a dilemma! Stop thinking romantically can be such a easy tool to alienate one from another. What a handy tool to be left out the drama, the commotion, the madding crowd. Locked up. Emptied from inside out.
Hollowed out. Will it be better that I stop thinking about beautiful people around me? Will it be better that I assume the camouflage of a cold-hearted cynical person that plays around with humor and defense rather than reveal my fragile heart to this unpredictable world which is full of vile and betrayals? Should I disarm my cynical façade and load off the anger, the discontent and the sadness in me and give my life a clean bill of health in order to restart here? Should I purge the childish feeling of love and hate inside me so that I will no longer suffer from the cold shoulder offered by the others to my passion? So that I can immune to humanness and become again a pure existence of impartiality and professional efficiency?
My beloved Beatriz, tell me.
