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The Mosquito Trail
Entry 7 of 64 | show all | print this entry |
Mosquitoes are the enemy!
Ciudad Perdida (The Lost City) -
This city is about 3000 years old and was inhabited by the Tyrona Indians. The city was deserted for unknown reasons and rediscovered in the 1970s by tomb raiders looking for valuable artifacts. These tomb raiders were soon driven out by the local police force and archaeologists took over scraping up the last few artifacts for museums in Colombia. The city is 16km into the jungle from Santa Marta which becomes a 6 day trek in total. Basically, the worst idea Rory ever had. Ok, so maybe not the worst, but you´ll get the drift.
Day 1:
8:00 a.m. - We are picked up at our hostel in Taganga by Sierra Tours and taken to Santa Marta where we meet the other sucker who signed up for the trip, Allert. He´s from Holland, blond, tall and, as Rory likes to say, one handsome man. From one handsome man to another. Anyway, we all climb in a little bus and head for the jungle. One hour later we find ourselves sitting on the back of motorcycles driven by 16 year old kids racing around ridiculous curves on the edge of mountains over a dirt/rock road. My arms were literally sore from holding on so tight, fuck.
10:00 a.m. - We are now sitting in some small town in the middle of no where at some little tienda (store) where the owner is blasting the worst Colombian music from the biggest speakers ever. It´s absolutely terrible music, it´s fricking hot as balls, humid as hell and Rory´s hungry...the worst. Our tour guide, Giovanne, makes us some sandwiches and we sit for another hour waiting for god knows what.
11:30 a.m. - We´re off. Into the jungle we go, smiles on our faces and excitement in every step. How wonderful! We´re trekking along side a quite stream, with lush green vegetation on all sides and absolutely enjoying every minute. And to top it all off, we spot a swimming hole within the first hour and decide to take a little dip. Fresh, clean stream with refreshingly cool water. It was almost perfect...almost. The next 3 hours were spent hiking, and I mean hiking. One hour up a crazy steep slope, back and forth, back and forth, up and up, up and upper. Sweat is pouring down my back, forehead, chest, legs, everywhere. Rory was soaking wet, eww. Once we reached the top of the hill it was time to go down. However, down was not as easy as it may sound. The entire trail was super muddy and the dirt was a redish brown color. Every step was taken with caution and it was inevitable that all of us would slip and fall into a mud hole at one point and completely cover our shoes with shit. Horse shit to be exact. Oh yeah, did I mention a horse was carrying all our food and sleeping bags? Yes, we had a horse to follow, as well as every other group that ever took this trip so the trail was covered in horse shit. Not to mention cow shit, pig shit, chicken shit, turkey shit, all kinds of shit. Yeah. You can imagine my excitement and the amazing smell. At one point, we actually ran into a cow blocking the road because she was tired and pregnant and wouldn´t move. She was also extremely moody and took a nasty snap at our guide with her mouth when he tried to pass. Scary.
3:00 p.m - We´ve arrived at our first check point. Our other guide, Alfredo´s, home. He lives in the middle of no where with his entire family, including the one and only Poopie Pants. The little boy, about 18 months, was the cutest little thing, running around in underwear and tank tops all day long. His only problem was his complete lack of toilet training. Of course, at 18 months, who's really toilet trained, but at least most babies wear diapers. This family either couldn´t afford them, or didn´t care. Poopie Pants had to have is pants changed about every hour, sometimes every 15 minutes. Twice he came up to me to play, stopped, started peeing all over his pants and watching it leak down onto his feet and would then smile and run off. Aren´t kids cute. I especially liked playing with him when he had a mysterious brown mush running down his leg.
After I stepped into the shower to clean up I heard the most horrendous sound coming from outside. It went on for about 20 minutes and sounded like a pig squeeling for his life. Turns out, it was a pig, the Christmas pig. Rory watched as Alfredo's sons held down the pig and slit its scrotum and slowly pushed each ball out. Apparently if you don't cut out the balls, the pig will taste like urine. Hm. Learn something new everyday. After that came dinner, no pork thank god, and then playing cards by candle light.
At one point in the night we heard the word "marijuana" and decided to investigate. Turns out this family is so used to travelers who smoke pot that they actually sell it. We bought about an ounce for $5 and smoked our hearts out. Needless to say, it hardly got us high at all. Shit, plan was foiled. After 4 joints and a massive headache, we decided to call it a night and crashed into our hammocks with mosquito nets covering them. Not exactly sure if the mosquito nets worked because I have bites all over my legs to this day.
Day 2: (no more time frames...takes too long)
Breakfast, always served with coffee and hot chocolate. Why you ask? I have no fucking clue. Actually hot chocolate seems to be served with every meal except lunch. For lunch, you get juice. Anyway... Today we get to see a cocaine factory in the jungle. We each paid 20,000 pesos ($10) and take a short hike down a small creek. The factory is actually a small hut built with four wood poles and a black plastic tarp for the ceiling. We take a seat and watch the 18 year olds go to work. Cocaine is a gross freaking drug. They mush the leaves up with salt, then paste them up with caulk (like paint shit) then mix it with gasoline and let it sit for awhile. Next they mix it with some acid and neutralize it with some chemical which bubbles in the extremely dirty mixing bowl. Then they filter it, next add more chemical, next filter. The result - milky white pasty shit that needs to be dried out and cut with other junk to be sold to the US. We were told that pure cocaine will make your nose bleed instantly. It is imperative that it be cut with other stuff to save lives. Ironic, huh? After that lovely awakening, we headed back to camp to start another grueling day of trekking.
We take off for day 2. Up and down, up and down, around and around, sweat and mosquitoes, sweat and mosquitoes. Amy is very uncomfortable, but slightly excited about getting a work out. I haven´t been to a gym in quite some time now. Right before we reached the next stop, it started pouring like crazy. It was insane. One minute nothing, the next torrential downpour. We ran up a hill of rocks and recovered under a metal roofed hut. Lunch, dinner, hammocks, mosquito nets. Amy is still uncomfortable and scratching everywhere. Luckily we brought along some Calamyne lotion for relief. As a result, the entire inside of my pant legs were pink with Calamyne residue. Oh, and did I mention there are actually indigenous people living all along the trail. They live off the land, farming and raising livestock for food, crafting hand bags and basically doing nothing all day. They also like to hang around your backpacks staring and lerking at your stuff. It amazes me that people still live like this when all I know is the hustle and bustle of city life in the US. Wild.
Day 3:
Breakfast, chocolate, coffee. We´re off. Today we reach Ciudad Perdida! Although, this is after we cross the river 9 times in about waist deep water, rushing at such strength that I need assistance at every crossing or I might float away. All of our clothes are wet, the mosquitoes are loving my ankles and Amy is again uncomfortable. But lets be honest. The scenery is amazing, the experience was honestly like no other and the swimming holes were to die for. And even so, Amy is not exactly the happy camper. After the 9th crossing we run straight into a huge wall of stairs winding up into the jungle on a mountain. The assent is about 1200m and approximately 1500 steps. Awesome! Bring on the sweat. As Rory is huffing and puffing behind me, I´m wondering if they will be able to schedule a helicopter to fly in and pick me up because there is no fucking way I´m retracing my steps back through the past three days of hell. Well, they can´t. Shit fuck dammit. Soon the mood changed.
At the top of the stairs was one of the most amazing sites I´ve ever scene. There was an entire village of rock walls and barriers where houses once stood. And all the rocks were still there, in perfect formation, after 3000 years!! Crazy cool. Unfortunately it started raining almost as soon as we got there, so we shacked up in this little hut and sat down for coffee and chocolate to wait the rain out. The rain lasted until dark, so there we were once again playing cards by candle light.
Day 4:
Today was the day off at Ciudad Perdida. The took a tour of the city with our guide Alfredo. The city is huge and runs off in so many different directions. There are hundreds of little rock lined trails off into the jungle that lead to different neighborhoods and smaller cities. Many of the trails are too overgrown with jungle to walk on, but we managed to walk many of them with caution as all the rock steps are slippery with moss. Down one trail is a swimming hole called the fountain of youth which I basically threw Rory in...haha. Just teasing. We both jumped in for a quick dip which definitely made us feel more alive considering it was freezing! After shaving 3 years off our lives we headed back to the hut for some lunch and then, of course, it started raining again. There´s nothing worse than being stuck in a little shack with nothing to do but play cards and listen to people talk Spanish around you when you don´t understand a word they´re saying. Rory and I were bored silly. Nap time. Nap time is over. Now what, still raining. With all the down time and nothing to do, I thought I was going to go insane. Idea. iPod. Jack LaFleur. Ahhh...sanity. However, it only made me miss my friends that much more.
Day 5: The Big Hike
Today we hike back the length of Day 3 and Day 2 put together. Holy balls it was rough. So much sweat and so many mosquitoes. My muscles are still sore and my legs are totally disgusting with huge red dots everywhere. It´s super sexy as Rory likes to say. Apparently they are littered all over my ass as well. Lovely.
So, we´re back at the Casa de Poopy Pants and I´m back to being entertained by a baby who likes to piss and shit his pants. Rory and I are grumpy, tired and ready to get the hell out of there and into a hot shower, 5 star hotel and hopefully get some laundry done. That night I believe we hit the sack at 8 p.m. because we were so worn out. Not to mention there was nothing to do and when the sun goes down, it´s you and the Colombians and candle light.
Day 6:
One last 2.5 hours hike, 2 hour car ride, 5 minute taxi, 1 hour of waiting for our bags, another 20 minute taxi ride and 5 minutes of broken Spanglish with a receptionist and we´re laying on the bed of our 5 Star Resort!!! Amy is very comfortable, well, she will be after a long hot shower which involves massive amounts of shaving. 6 days of no shaving is not sexy, take my word for it. Rory had a pretty nice beard going on as well.
Thoughts...
6 day treks are from now on, out of the question.
I will no longer travel anywhere with massive amounts of mosquitoes. The Amazon is out.
Ciudad Perdida is an amazing place that people should be able to helicopter to.
Rory and I still love each other after 6 days, 24/7 together in some of the worst conditions I´ve ever experience. Awww.
I miss my friends and my San Diego life. But alas, we´re in Cartagena now and getting ready to hit up the clubs!!!! On with the party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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