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  Mombasa, Kenya
Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Hi all

Well power has been down for two days now and only just come back; this happens all the time and is really frustrating as I have to walk at least 1 mile on a dirty old track to this place only to find that the power is down; no electricity no internet; damn I miss my laptop!

Have made a new friend - Mickey who has a serious foot fetish and we are becoming close!!   You'll remember that last week he and his brother had their balls chopped off; I assisted the Vet - Mickey is now gay and spends more time at home practicing the art of seduction on my feet!    Seriously he's very sweet and doesn't recall me holding him down on the dining room table; things will never be quite the same for Mickey Boy!  Even his meow has a more feminine tone

Bisto Kid - OK I didn't do all the cooking!

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Sunday was spent fishing - Ka Ka and the boys and I hauled in this big boy; you wouldn't believe it took 5 grown men to haul it onto the Dow using a big rope and a lot of might - reckon I'll be still be eating this one around the time I come home!    The fish weighed over 140 kgs before they chopped off his head; nothing goes to waste here though - even big boy's head will be served up in some form or another.   This is a very prized haul and if I could remember the name of it I'd tell you - any offers accepted!

Ka Ka was very proud of his catch and we put it in the back of the van and proudly drove around Mtwpa before hauling it's ass off to market; keeping several kgs for our freezer.  

So later on; with everyone feeling a bit knackered and tired off fish I suggested I cook!!  English Roast Dinner I blurted out after a glass of wine; "the food of my Country"!!  Yeah right.  Preparation time one day, cooking time 2 hours; feasting time 4 minutes!!  Never have I slaved over a meal and lost so much body fluid; bloody idiot suggesting I cook a roast dinner in an oven where the kitchen is already 35 degrees; but I'm very proud of my heritage and what better way than to share another's table with my Nation's favourite dish

English Roast Dinner after the Toast!

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So off to the Nukamatt (think Somerfield; take away the tills and put in rickety old benches, weird smells, indescribable vegetables, no lighting thereby taking your eyes at least 5 minutes to adjust before you reach the back of the store - which only foolish white people go to see if there are any mark-downs (food is 30 day's past it's sell by date!) or throw aways, apparently they have a high turnover of shoppers; I think a few of them are buried not far from here - having endulged in one to many mark-downs I guess.

Anyway managed to pick up what I assumed was a cabbage, some imported broccoli, some very fallic looking home grown carrots that just pass as orange and not pink!  Very grateful that I bought my own bisto gravy granules and packets of cheese sauce from the UK, several tons of potatoes as by now the village had heard that the wonderful Amanda was cooking a roast and wanted a laugh!  One apron later and having consummed 4 litres of water to keep me near the oven; the chicken is roasting, the potatoes are par-boiling and I have a local audience outside the kitchen door watching me melt! thinking how silly I am - have to agree but no going back now - I'm British!!

Many, many long hot hours later we sit down to dinner with some other friends of Marie and Ka Ka who had also heard through the grapevine that this silly English woman was baking herself and wanted to taste and see what a Yorkshire Pudding was

Gravy and Chilli Sauce !!

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As I sit at the table I'm very proud now; I say a toast please and clink my glass with my fork - so does everyone at the table and then ask me what a toast is? well I say "I'm very happy to be able to share my Nation's favourite dish with you all; you've been so kind to me and I wanted to share different foods from far off places"   Ka Ka said "Amanda this is chicken we eat this here too", Oh but Ka Ka I said  "I appreciate that but have you eaten wonderful roast potatoes", Ka Ka said no he hadn't had this pleasure, I said "have you poured cheese on your vegetables", Ka Ka said no he had not, I said "have you ever seen batter rise to the gods like this", Ka Ka said no he hadn't and could I get on with it!!

Then I served everyone a little bit of roast chicken, some roast potatoes with all the trimmings, my home made gravy (Yes, Julie and Sue - I managed to make it resemble my gravy from home); even adding wine and english home bought mustard to my gravy just the way I like and you all suffer it!! (although Ka Ka was upset when I told him this as I forgot he is Muslim and doesn't sip the evil poison), the table looked good; I had some candles put on the table and salt and pepper, mustard and everyone looked very pleased with this.

Then they said where is the chilli sauce!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And here is my dish which they all loved - roast chicken with roast potatoes and rich english beef gravy and chilli sauce............

I didn't sleep that night - anyone who knows me knows my gravy is unique!!

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Mickey with the toe fetish!

The Big Fish all 140 kgs

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