. It makes me realize I am so not ready to be a mom! The next few days were tense and uncomfortable, so I decided to take a day trip. I chose Bergamo because it was close and Luisa said it was beautiful. On the way there I realized I didn't have as much time as I thought, so I played with the idea of just turning around and coming back home, but when I got there I changed my mind and figured I'd find a really good place to eat then come back. The train station is in the new part of the city, but the old part is up on a hill, and as I was walking towards it I felt a desire to go up and have a look around. I came across a gondola sorta thing, and went on that to get up the incredibly steep hill. I had grabbed a map with a couple routes marked, but ended up just wandering around. I got some pizza that was oh so delicious, then kept going and saw a building that kinda looked like a church. It was almost like a side entrance, but once inside I lost my breath again at how gorgeous it was. There were these high ceilings, all elaborately painted and decorated, and as I walked around I felt near tears again, like I had experienced in the Cremona church. I didn't have much time because it was nearing the Italian 3 hour lunch break, so I walked back toward the gondola station, wanting to see the view from way up high. A restaurant was in the way, so I was just going to ask if I could go out on the balcony and look, but after seeing their menu I got a table instead and treated myself to a cappucino and slice of cheesecake. It was really cloudy and grey, but it was still so beautiful. I made it back to Dello in a much better mood than before.
The next day I had my Italian/English lesson with Daniela. It was rainy and gloomy and I wasn't in the mood for it-we were going to go to the grocery store to practice my speaking (I was going to order meat for her). Once we got there though it was fun, we walked around talking about items, she was making a cake so we went through the sweets aisle and if I mentioned I hadn't had something she would throw it in the cart "so you can bring it home to your family." I love watching the butcher slice meat. It's so quick and the slices are so thin, and the sound is a shushing sound that I could listen to for hours, I know that's weird, but I like it! I tried a slice of what they use for bacon, and it was AMAZING. Later that day I had my first lesson with the girl from the castle, and it went pretty well. She had Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, so I would read a couple paragraphs, then she would, and we went through the book that way. The younger one has a book that has English on one page and Italian on the other, so I would read the English and she would read the Italian, so we both knew what the story was about.
A side story that I find very funny-I have been riding Angelo's bike a lot, since it's my only means of transportation when they are both at work. I decided one day I would go to the grocery store for them and was feelin good until I was checking out and remembered I had to get everything home via bike. The milk isn't gallons, but still heavy, and they don't give you small normal size bags, they're huge, end-of-the-world bags, so I lugged it out to the bike and hung it on the left handlebar. I sent up a quick prayer then headed off. I was on a busy road and every time a car would pass me the weight of the groceries would pull my bike to the left, into traffic, so I was gripping as hard as I could to stay balanced. I was so wobbly and moving as slow as possible without just tipping over, and my back was killing me by the time I finally made it home, and I was laughing out loud the whole time. I had to have looked absolutely crazy. Why don't people believe me when I say bikes are just not my thing??
I'm sorry I haven't written in sooooo long! Lots of things have happened since my last entry. Some good, some bad. Immediately following the Cremona weekend of fun, I got in trouble for not interacting enough with the boys and writing too much. I need to write in my journal a lot, not only to remember everything, but it keeps me sane, it's like talking to someone when I write. If I can't write...I feel like going crazy, since I don't hang out with anyone but the family. Luisa said she needed to know for sure when I was going home so they could find someone else, so that night I called the airline and set my flight for November 24th, so I could be home for Thanksgiving. We played Uno that night, and I won and Francesco screamed at me so loudly his pacifier dropped out of his mouth and I saw his tonsils. And she wonders why I sometimes distance myself from them? I know he's only 3, I didn't take it personal or anything, but it's exhausting, even when I'm done working, I can't go home, I'm still with them