All Willy-Nilly in Wet Wellys!

Trip Start Apr 21, 2010
Trip End May 31, 2010

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Where I stayed
Kawe and Pua's Home With A View

Flag of New Zealand  , North Island,
Saturday, May 15, 2010

Geez. Can't go away for a couple of days without my faithful followers bitchin and whining. Well kids, I figured that you were all getting sick of hearing about my engagement bliss, and dinners with friends, so I thought I'd do some shit that was worth blogging about. So here it is.

So, Shenan and I decide to pack up and drive down to Wellington to visit Elizabeth and company. And that's precisely what we did. Oh, and can I just say, remember the "Exclaim" Game? Where I EXCLAIM as loudly as possible what road hazard there is to look out for? Well, this game got a lot less fun now that Chopz has decided to play along with me. And the bugger has binoculars for eyes, so he reads the sign far before I do. And he cheats. I'm sawing logs in my Passenger Seat of Snooze, when suddenly I'm awoken by "TRUCKS CROSSING!!!" compliments of my loving fiance. Nearly pissed my L&P right there. Dirty Fightin' Kiwis. Of course, this means war.
Also, on the way down to Wellington, there's a spot where we drove nearly 30kilometers in an almost STRAIGHT LINE!! Felt like I was back home, driving good 'ol Highway 1.

Wellington is very spread out, and very cool. It's even more cool when you have a tour guide like Kawe feeding you all sorts of little nuggets of knowledge about this beautiful city. Very fun! Got to meet the whole Roes whanau too, and Elizabeth makes a mean chicken chop suey. Nom nom! And then Kawe, Chopz and I decided we needed to amp up the culture in my NZ experience, and we went to a diva's improv show at the Bats Theater. Which is the cutest damned theater I think I've ever been in. Seats about a max of 80 people, absolutely NO wings, no curtains, just two back doors. EFFIN PRECIOUS. And it was a great night, the troupe was of 5 ladies who did an hour improv show, and they were really funny! Had a lot of great laughs! We stayed at Kawe and Pua's place, which has these massive windows that overlook the goregous bay that the ships come in and out of. Oh, and then through the kitchen window, it's overlooking the city lights of Wellington. That must be a shame to look out of every night and every morning.... sigh.... I have my jealousy pants on....

Awoke the next morning, went for breakfast with Elizabeth, Wallace and Kawe, and then in the car to GRAVITY CANYON........

He he he.... okay. So can I just say, that flying face-first, Superman-style through a ginormous canyon, is probably one of the coolest things ever. (Aside from Zorbing. I mean, really. Zorbing is the coolest thing in the history of time.) Okay, so we pull up to this Gourge of Stupid Activities for the Mentally Insane. We look up at this mother trucker..... the flying fox platform sits 175 meters above the riverbed below. The zipline is 1 kilometer. They put you in a sling-style harness, so that you're suspended underneath the zipline, superman style. Then they release this thing, and you fly at 160km/h down this bastard to the other side, which then lets gravity make you go back and forth until you come to a rest in the middle. So I'm looking up at this platform, and then looking down at the riverbed below. I may or may not have soiled myself at the thought of doing this. And for the first time.... nearly chickened out. I sat and thought about it for a few minutes... then watched other people go down it. After being told that it wasn't a free fall, I was back in the game. But they don't tell you that you have to hike up a bastard MOUNTAIN to get there. during our 10 minute hike, Shenan rolled his ankle. We haven't even been strapped to a contraption that could potentially hurdle us face first into the rockface on the other side..... sigh. So we keep treking, where there is the couple we just watched do the zipline heading back down. "How was it?" we inquire. "It's great fun! Good time!" they inform us. "Are you two doing all three?" (meaning bungee, canyon swing and flying fox), "No we're just doing this."  "AW! You chickens!".... we have just been called chickens because apparently, flying face first down a canyon isn't ENOUGH. Right-o, mister. So we get to the top, take 5 minutes to collect our breath after our trek, and get strapped in this bastard. They give you goggles too, just in case you get blasted in the eye by a bug. LMAO! So we do this thing, and it's SO FREAKIN FUN!!! As soon as it's over, you instantly want to do it again. SUCH A GREAT IDEA! It was wicked. So, giggling and laughing, we head back down to the clubhouse or whatever these adventure people call it, to get a copy of the DVD they shot of us doing it. But on our way back down the mountain, we hear this blood-curtling scream, and look beyond to see the Chicken mean, BRAVE SOULS, doing the sky swing. Which, thank god, I'm not stupid enough to do a second time. We get back to the base camp and while we're grabbing a bite to eat, these two fools walk in, looking a little shaken. "How was the swing bro?" Chops asks our Brave Knight of the Adventure Triad. "BAD. IT WAS BAD. Oh... oh..." He's shaking like a Hoose in front of a turkey dinner. "Oh? And you guys still have to do the bungy aye?".... The woman is shaking her white face 'no', and our Lancelot the Swingmaster says, "Yeah. I don't know about that anymore. I don't think it's such a good idea. We'll see." LMFAO.... to you karma..... to you. You always know when to show up to make my heart smile a big brighter.

Oh, so then Shenan drives like a New Zealander to get back to New Plymouth in time to pick up the resized engagement ring, which we got the call about earlier that day! And when I say, he drove like a New Zealander, I mean, the car ride alone was an adventure ride all in itself. Crazy Kiwi drivers. We get back, pick up the ring, and hobble Shenan's poor ass in the house... you see, after sitting in the car for 3 hours after rolling his ankle, now it's pretty painful for him, and my finace's new nickname, compliments of myself, is Hoppy. LOL. See Hoose, there really ARE kangaroos in New Zealand!!! LOL!

So Choppy the Hoppy and I get into a taxi and go down to Icons for our engagement party, which was SUCH A GREAT AND FUN NIGHT! Some of Hoppy's workmates came down to meet me, and we also had another fantastic evening with Nutta and Huria! And after mucho-boozeo, headed to Fredricks, had more booze, ate a street sangwich, and then back home. Fan-freakin-tastic evening! (Have I mentioned that the people down here are extremely nice??? Oh wait, I think I have. Well it's still true.) Huria and Nutta got 'Caniwi Omelettes' this morning, and now we're off to party with Hoppy's whanau in Pio Pio! TTYS!
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Gravity Canyon on

Hey mate, your blog is awesome! You are one funny, talented writer.
We have posted a link to this blog on our Facebook page, hope this is ok with you? Check it out...
Thanks for visiting us, stink that Hoppy rolled his ankle :( damned dangerous mountain! We could've given him some ice for the drive home.
Hope you had the best engagment party ever, safe travels.

Gravity Canyon on

P.s. That couple of BRAVE SOULS did chicken out on the bungy! ;)

akrause on

LMAO! They did? That's hilarious. I mean... unfortunate... LOL!
Thanks so much for reading, I'm having a blast writing it! It's such a great country! And Gravity Canyon was one of the highlights for sure, can't wait to revisit!

AaronNeville on

Hi, we were just thinking about a holiday to NZ - it sounds like you had a really good time with your hosts Wallace, Kawe and Elizabeth. Are they running a bed and breakfast? Is there any way we can contact them to arrange an experience like the one you had? Thank you very much!

akrause on

Aaron Neville? Woah. I'll be a monkey's bare-a$$ed uncle!
Actually, we stayed with my finace's families and friends, and none of them own a tour company or a bed and breakfast. So unfortunately, unless you attempt to marry into the family as I am doing, you'll be outta luck. I'll check to see if any of them have an affinity for eyebrow moles, but I'm guessing it'll be a nay.

Joking aside, thanks for reading, I hope you have a fantastic trip and make your own experience memorable!

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