Cold ass salt flats
Trip Start
Apr 14, 2004
1
17
25
Trip End
Jul 27, 2004
Near uyuni,
Bolivia
Thursday, July 15, 2004
in oruro, we lunched, and the girls searched out stores for a pocket radio so they could listen to the holland futbol match while we were in the slat flats...i took the piss and told them not to bother becuz holland was gonna lose anyhow, and that would make them bitter for the rest of our trip...as it would turn out, they couldnt receive the signal anyway, so they never found out about the loss till later...turns out, i am always right...well i may have been wrong about sumthin once or twice, but i cant remember...
next we boarded the long train ride for uyuni, and thankfully it was the day after my rock climbing and not before, as the movie they played was vertical limit, and it involves more than a few scenes of rock climbers plummeting to their deaths...we arrived late in the night, and after making our way thru the throngs of hostal and tour touts, we made it to one of the coldest hostels to date...and that is saying alot becuz i have been in a lot of cold-ass hostals...the next morning after stocking up on essentials like cookies and cafe liquer, we got into our landcruiser, and headed out into the desert..
the first stop on the tour was at a salt house, amidst hundreds of salt piles that they scrape up for later sale...the house was quite neat, as it was similar to an adobe brick house, except the bricks are made of salt...and yes, i took the tourist picture of me licking the wall...many hours and kms logged on the salt flats, we saw a few islands (land masses) and had a not too appetising lunch of cheap canned tuna and rice...this would tend to be the pattern for the tour, as the food was probably the most consistently shit-house that i have encountered to date...
over the past few years i have developed quite a paranoia when in vehicles, especially when i can see the driver blatantly nodding of and sleeping for kms at a time, but in the salt flats it was no problem as long as he kept the wheel straight...u just keep going and going with absolutely nuthin in your way except a few islands and mountains in the distance...therefore, i made a note of talking to him a few kms before the islands or mountains, so that he could wake up and avoid said obstacles...
our hotel for the evening was also completely built out of salt, and was actually quite warm for the night...after dinner, we were treated to a band of children, who managed to play and sing some of the worst local music i have been forced to endure...sometimes they are quite good, but these kids were horrible...not that it matters, as they still collect donations (for the collabaration, they call it)as if they were a competent band...
another sunrise, after a ridiculously early morning, and we were on our way to pass thru the military checkpoint, and on to the lakes which were home to hundreds of pink flamingoes...well actually alot of them were more greyish and some were almost red, but for all intents and purposes, we will call them pink...they are lucky that their legs are so long and skinny, because it keeps their bodies out of the ice filled water that they were feeding in...after another unmemorable lake side picnic, prepared by our guide/ chauffer/mechanic/cook, we visited a petrified tree that was still standing...im not sure if petrified is actually the word...im just guessing...i think he tried to explain that it was lava that engulfed the tree, but wouldnt that burn it up???
for that evening we stayed in a huge dorm room with squeaky beds, and i think it is was top 3 worst accomodations i have been in...extremely cold with grungy bathrooms, where not only was there no running water(not a complete rarity) but even the tub of water that u use to get water from to flush the toilets was empty....nice...to complete the 4star package we were treated to balls of glue with ketchup sauce...it was actually really poorly cooked spaghetti, with bland tomato sauce, but i guess the guys not italian, so what can u expect???
after less than a half hour of our nightly ritual of card playing, our hands and bodies were too cold, and we were forced to retire for the evening...the next morning we were up before sunrise again, (just like i like it...(sarcasm)), and drove to the volcanic geysers that erupt from the surface of the flats...getting a little too close to them provoked warnings of ¨cuidado¨ (take care) from our guide, as i guess it is not completely unprobable that u could sink thru the soft ground, and into some ludicrously hot water, at which time u would likely boil to your death...mmm fun...this area was also blanketed by snow overnight, so it made for an even colder feeling for the day...as if it wasnt cold enuff already!!!relief was on the way however, in the form of some thermal hot springs a few hours down the way...so while our ¨cook¨ prepared our gourmet breakfast, the girls and i decided to lose the socks and shoes, roll up the pant legs, and stand around in the hot pools...it was nice to get the ol extremities warm again...the sensation even lasted for the next few hours in the landcruiser, until the below zero temperature took over again...
supposedly one of the highlights of the tour is supposed to be the viewing of the laguna verde(green lake), but when we arrived it was all cloudy, covered in snow, and therefore i renamed it laguna blanco(white lake)...3 days of travel to miss the green lake...ah well, if that really was supposed to be the highlight, it would have been fairly anticlimatic...the rest of the trip was much more entertaining and memorable...
as we were basically driving along the chilean border, we made as stop at the crossing to dróp off a few of our passengers who were on their way to chile...this was a bonus, because all we had left of our tour now was basically the 8 hour drive back to uyuni, and the extra space was nice...it was broken uo into two days , so it wasnt too bad, but i dont wanna spend that much time in a vehicle for awhile...(remember that i said this, when u later read about my condor valley story)...
at one of our last lunch stops, i befriended the remains of a couple of dead burros, and shared a sandwich with them...dont ask, it was only for a picture...one of many dead animal photos i have obtained on the trip...dont over-analyze my fetish for death shots, im still master over that other personality in my head that provokes me to take those shots...(no you´re not...yes i am...no you´re not..shut up leave me alone...why wont u just go away...)anyways, enuff about my mental sanity...after viewing some really breathtaking rock formations, it was time for a few river crossings, which seemed to excite the girls in the car...did i mention i was the only guy for 5 girls???yah thats right, i didnt...why??probably because even with those odds, i still come up with naught...after a few succesful crossings it was time to stall the landcruiser in water only a half inch less deep than the doors...thankfully our stuff didnt get wet...after climbing out onto the hood, and drying out what i think was the distributor cap, our truck/boat was running again, and we were on our way...spending that much time in the water however, left us without the use of the brakes...just add that to the list, because during the last few hours, we were subject to a rain, and the wipers decided that after one or two sweeps, that they would no longer be of service...but that is no problem, we just kept on going as if nothing was wrong...¨tranquilo¨ was the word of the day...
to end off the tour, we made a brief stop in the rain for some photos of the train cemetary...im so glad i didnt take pictures on the first day when the sun was shining, because now on the last day with the sleet and rain, i am much happier to be taking those shots...maybe my motto of ¨why do today what you can put off to tomorrow¨ should get a reworking???
entonces, mas o menos (so, more or less) that was the tale of the salt flats...
hasta luego
