Delhi - Goodnight India
Trip Start
Mar 03, 2005
1
42
235
Trip End
Ongoing
Delhi,
India
Monday, June 20, 2005
My final hoorah here was eventful. To be honest, I´ve reached the stage where I feel I need to leave India, otherwise I´ll hate it, and I don´t want that as my last impression of this country. There are so many parts of India that are indearing.
Still, my trip here was best summed up by the taxiride to the airport, which I organised through the hotel. The driver initially drove like that Indian Formula One driver for the Jordan team who know one knows about, except if you are Indian. After I told him to drive sensibly (in between lighter M rated swearing), he then proceeded to fall asleep at the wheel, almost running us under buses, trucks and cars. My answer to this was yelling at him the most abusive swear words I could think of (except THAT one, but definitely drinfing to R rated), every two minutes. It was the only way to keep him awake. I have never screamed so much at a person before in my life. It would have been too ironic to survive 7 weeks in this country, only to die on the way to the flight out.
When checking in, they staff generously gave me a bulkhead seat, given it was a night flight and given I was the tallest person getting onboard. I though it was wonderful, until I was on the plane, inspecting the seating. On one side of me, a father with a screaming 2 year old. On the other side of me, the mother with the other twin, screaming like someone was trying to kill it. I nearly died myself. Seven and a half hours of this, with them on either side. I did ask if they wanted to sit together, but was initially told they couldn´t due to some strange regulation involving the oxygen masks. Because they were under 2 years old, they were classed as babies and thus weren´t allocated seats. I suspect the parents lied in order to get them onboard for free, cos I have seen 35 year old adults who weighed less than these two childen. They were so big, they wouldn´t fit into the clip on baby beds, and thus had to sleep in the laps of the parents, one on each side of me. And they wouldn´t stop scremaing.
It was potentially my own personal description of hell.
I asked one male steward as to if there were other seats onboard. He was gay and obviously I didn´t have my gaydar look on, because he said ´sorry, full´. Instead I tried batting my eyelids at a blonde German female stewardess. Actually it was more of a pleading request. She explained there were no seats, but did seek permission from some higher being (the Bursar) for the two parents to sit next to each other, so at least they weren´t surrounding me like some evil Indian screaming family force of evil. Then she quietly slipped me some earplugs, and a large glass of Cabernet Sauvignon.
I´m already liking everything about Germany.
There are certain things that I will not miss about India...
The Crowds
Cow shit (as I type this, I have some sitting on the top of my shoe. Bugger. Damn scam by some kids who are Shoe Shiners, where they put it on your boot when you arenät watching hoping to get paid to clean it up)
Dog shit
Human shit (not necessarily mine)
Beggers, Scammers, Touts, Conners, and those general trying to get money out of you for little reason
The smells (the bad ones, of which there are many)
Terrible Beer
The lack of Beef
Autorickshaw rides amongst the fumes, where you are stuck between a bus and other vehicles at traffic lights
Deluxe Buses
Pollution, industrial strength
Days over 40 degrees
Bacteria in food
Liars
Constantly feeling dirty
Lassis
But there are also things that I will miss not having around or experiencing on a daily basis....
Lemon Honey Ginger Tea
Limca
Lemon Soda
Chicken Tikka
Chicken Tikka Masala
Veg Korma
Veg Biryani
Malai Kofta
Thalis
Papads
Chapatis
Cheap yet decent accom
Friendly people, the genuine ones
Shatabdi Trains
Mumbai Taxis, with meters that work
Snowcapped Mountains
Buddhists
Forts
Mountain climbing
Desert Sunsets
Goats, and girls who act like them
And that is all I have to say about India. Bring on the Bratwurst.
