Tunxi/Huangshan - I Was Only, 24 Hours in Tunxi...
Trip Start
Mar 03, 2005
1
17
235
Trip End
Ongoing
Tunxi/Huangshan,
China
Monday, April 25, 2005
FSQ has had it confirmed since he's been away, that he has successfully scored a new job. Thus some swanky new business shirts were in order. A half dozen Hugo Boss (or were they Hugo Bozz?) for around $30 and we were on our way.
One grating part of travelling in China is that many Hotel Staff think they understand you, and go act on it, but most of the time they actually don't. We were heading to another hotel to catch their airport bus, but it soon became apparent that the Doorman had given the driver the wrong directions, as we were heading the wrong way and were stuck in a classic Beijing traffic jam. Some speedy hand actions and on-the-spot learning of the Chinese word for "airport" (el plano speedo) and we made it.
This leg of the FSQ four star tour of China takes us to Huang Shan, one of the five Taoist holy mountains in China. The flight arrived in the town of Tunxi late in the evening, and thankfully we were met by our organised transport for the 60 km car journey to the foot of the mountain.
Not everything is as it seems from an initial scan of a travel guide, when it comes to China. FSQ and I had organised accommodation up on the mountain for the following night. It appeared from the book that it was a mere cable car ride up to the mountain, then an easy check in to the hotel, and a stroll amongst the peaks. It sounded so easy that FSQ didn't even bother with a backpack, instead bringing the suitcase from home.
It soon became apparent that things weren't that simple. We were facing up to a three hour wait to use the cable car, followed by a minimum 4km trek over the steep mountains to reach our next four star abode. Somehow I couldn't see the wheels on FSQ's Samsonite surviving the bumps. Hence that plan was cancelled with a phone call to the mountain hotel to say that one of us was sick and that we couldn't make the journey, and a re-booking at the hotel at the bottom.
We still were to go up to the peaks, but only on a day trip. Prior to climbing mountains, one needs to replenish one's energy. We stopped off at the hotel's "restaurant", which had a majestic buffet of chinese delicicies, initially cooked just after the revolution in 1949 by the look of it. If we were faking sickness then it was clear that if we ate the food, we wouldn't have to fake it much longer. Thus, breakfast consisted of some stale rolls, Dove chocolate and 'Chips Ahoy!' cookies after a walk to a local store.
Our arrival at the cable confirmed my worst fears - another hectic, long wait at a cable car station. The guard indicated it was going to be three hours. So we decided to do what real men do - hike up a mountain and catch the cable car down.
It was a 6.5km climb up relatively steep stairs. Tough work without a backpack, or a suitcase for that matter, and that still left 4km from the peak to our previously booked hotel. The scenery at the top was somewhat pleasant, but not as inspiring as the Taoists has indicated via the use of the word "holy". I'm not sure if they can re-assess after such a labelling, but perhaps they should.
China continues to be logic defying. Locals are employed to carry supplies up and down the mountain in bags slung on bamboo, carried across their shoulders. The locals tramp up the mountain in their mini-skirts and heels or suits, hearts pounding madly as they are obviously too unfit to make the journey. They will push in front of you to take a photo and tell you to get out of their way, even though its blatently obvious that you were there first and are trying to take a photo but they've walked in your way. One girl pushed through a ready-to-shoot FSQ, and then hung from a tree over a ledge so her boyfriend could capture the moment. I hoped he would capture the moment of the branch snapping. Even FSQ, who has only been here for two weeks, is starting to talk back at them with a few choice words, even though they look back at you as if they've done nothing wrong. I hate to stereotype completely, but sometimes you wonder if they are indeed a race of complete fools.
Up at the peak we found a restaurant, but they were not champions at charades. We eventually convinced them to served us rice and cabbage. Somehow they couldn't work out that we wanted other vegetables. We worked out at that stage that it was time to take the cable car back to 'base camp', four-star style.
We were treated to a fine vegetarian meal at a restaurant in nearby Tankou for dinner. As no one spoke English at all, our orders were placed via a tiny translation handbook that they gleefully presented to us, when it was clear that hand-motions weren't working. They were a friendly bunch of staff, although not overly efficient. But friendly was enough for us by this stage. Was our faith restored in the Chinese people?
The next morning we had pre-planned breakfast, avoiding the buffet by this time enjoying some stale thickly sliced bread. Dear oh dear, breakfast is not a winner here in Huang Shan. We caught some transport for the short ride to Wild Monkey Mountain. After a quick walk we found a group of Chinese tourists, taunting and laughing at a group of (as the name suggested) wild monkeys, who were growling, rearing up and threatening to attack them. The Chinese seemed to enjoy it, much to our bewilderment. I was hoping to capture an attack on film, on the proviso that the monkeys could establish that us westerners were the friendly ones, and merely photo journalists showing the moment when fauna strikes back. We then made a short journey to a waterfall area, which was a really nice walk, ruined by another couple of locals pushing FSQ out of the way as he was poised to capture the moment. Insert swearing here.
After being dropped back in Tankou, we had to catch the local tourist bus back to the hotel to pack up and leave. FSQ and I were the only two people on board other than the attendant (dressed very similarly to a Pan-Am air stewardess from the 60s), and the driver. It is standard on these buses for the air-stewardess to make an announcement in Chinese to those on the bus, via loudspeaker. The speaker makes them sound like a cross between Darth Vader and a Horse Racing commentator. The 'hostie' looked at us, saw there was no one else onboard, rushed off the bus back to the office, and returned with a piece of paper. After we started moving, she grabbed the mic, and commenced her address to us, reading from the paper....
"Ladies and Gentlemem, welcome aboard...."
FSQ and I roared with laughter. She stopped right there, laughing at our laughing. We had to explain to her that we were definitely not Ladies (although I shop like one), and we doubted on occasions as to whether we fell into the Gentlemen category as well.
Our journey to Huangshan was complete, with a local cafe person (after feeding us a half decent vegetables and rice meal - bloody vegetables and rice again...) telling us that a "big bus" would collect us for the trip to Tunxi. Our flight was late in the evening, but FSQ was hopeful that we could grab an earlier flight, even though Tunxi is a one-horse town.
If her idea of "Big Bus" is a 12 seater minibus, then lord knows what she call a decent sized 40 seater. In typical Chinese-style the attendant tried to push us into the ordinary seats (built for dwarves, not for us)so they could pile on more people. I immediately bought an extra seat for us given it was a cheap ride, but she didn't appreciate that either. The final straw was when she tried to push us into the corner, so she (the attendant, being paid to make the ride) could take the spacious seat. Remembering that we were paying customers, and had paid for three seats, the basic translation to her was "you get into the frickin' corner yourself". She unhappily did so.
Our trip to Huang Shan and Tunxi wasn't as great as we planned it, and unfortunately its been the locals that have dragged it down a few notches.
FSQ and I arrived at the Tunxi airport. It was almost deserted. The only thing missing were the tumbleweeds. There was no earlier flight to Shanghai. There were hardly any flights at all, and none arriving or leaving for another 6 hours. FSQ and I spent 7 hours sitting there. We did buy some cards, alternating between playing Patience and the damn Parachute game on my Ipod. We reverted to our own version of Poker late in the stay, with FSQ racking up a bill of Y1.80 (around 30 cents) in owings to me. "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
The one highlight at the airport was the shopping. We were shown a toy chicken that wandered around on wheels and actually laid eggs, which came out of a chute near its rear. It was the ugliest toy I'd ever seen in my life. I wanted one.
Finally we were on the plane on our way to the last stop on FSQ's short jaunt. Flying on China Eastern Airlines is a unique experience. For a start, the safety instructions are delivered to your TV screen via a Japanese-style cartoon, which looked like a cross between Astroboy and animated porn. We were then treated to regular recorded turbulance warnings every five minutes or so, even though it wasn't a bumpy ride. China just defies logic on so many levels, on so many occasions.
