Hanoi
Trip Start
Apr 20, 2003
1
12
24
Trip End
Jun 10, 2003
Hanoi,
Vietnam
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
SCAMMED!
Up at 5.30am for a 140kph taxi ride to the airport ( I kid you not), and in the queue to check in by 6.25am, 2 hours before the flight. I was then told that my flight was cancelled - due to SARS they had cut back the Bangkok-Hanoi route to one flight a day at 5.50pm. Ten hours to kill at Bangers airport....
Thankfully that give you free accommodation at the Amari Airport Hotel, which is a rather schwanky five star number 30 metres from the terminal. I had checked in my luggage for the flight and was back asleep by 7.15am.
Later on I decided to use the hotel's gym. As my luggage was already checked in a new spare t-shirt was in order. The concierge desk directed me to a shopping centre 20 minutes away. Another mad taxi driver. This one not only sped, he also sang along to Foreigner's "I"ve Been Waiting For A Girl Like You..." in broken english. I hate Foreigner. The only thing worse would have been if he was singing "Hot Blooded"....
I arrived to find it very much a Gucci-esque place, with not a cheap t shirt vendor in sight. For weeks I've had "you want cheap t shirt mista" ringing in my ears on a constant basis, and now I can't find anyone who won't flog me an authentic Ralph Lauren. So its the Sky Train to Siam square and the million and two t shirt sellers there. Back to Hotel for the complimentary three course lunch (thank you Thai airways) followed by a gym trip.
I finally got on my flight to Hanoi - it was smooth except for some reason the pilot decided to try and bury it on landing. I suspect he was looking for some hidden underground runway, as he thumped it into the tarmac without much finesse. I did ask one of the hosties to make sure the Captain replaced his divots, but no one seemed to understand.
Um, where are the cabs? Where are the airline buses? Hanoi airport was a virtual ghost town, with myself and an English fella and English girl the only ones left by the time we got through customs. We agreed to get into an unofficial taxi for US$4 each for the 35km trip into town. There was no other option really.
We drop off the bloke and head off to my Hotel, where I hand over my US$4, grab my bag and get shuffled off into reception as the cab speeds off with the English girl. I have an internet booking for the hotel which I've already paid for. They take me up to the room to show me the place, and its a good deal. As part of check-in you have to hand in your 'yellow slip', which is basically a travel form which needs to be handed in when you leave the country.
The receptionist hassles me as to how long I'll be staying. The place is good, so I agree to pay for tomorrow night upfront, and hand over the cash (WARNING BELLS! WARNING BELLS!). At this stage I have not even checked to see the name of the place. I mention the internet booking and he says that he'll need to confirm that with the Secretary in the morning, who has internet access. (WARNING BELLS! WARNING BELLS!)
I decide to go for a walk and ask for a map - he hands me the hotels
business card which has a small map on it. Hmmm, doesn't look right and the name is different... (WARNING BELLS! WARNING BELLS!) He says "we've just done renovations and changed the name, yes your booking is definitely here!".
Finally the penny is dropping. I head to the nearest internet cafe to double check the details, and I am in the wrong place. I've paid via the internet for tonite's accom for a place in another part of town, and I've paid these guys for tomorrow nite. If I stay here tonite, they'll make me pay for tonite tomorrow and I'll be stuck here again. Oh, and they have my "yellow slip".
I headed back to the hotel and made up an excuse to see my "yellow slip". They hand it over, and I tell them I'm aware they've scammed me. Not a good time to ask for my money back however, as there are six of them in reception..... hence I go upstairs, speedily pack up and walk out. Bastards.
I wanted to steal a towel as revenge, but I figured a night in my correct hotel was better than a night in the Hanoi Hilton prison, or in hospital. The dumb thing is that I had read about the same style of scam before. WARNING BELLS! WARNING BELLS! Doh.
I wander up the street at 11.15pm at night with no idea where the hotel is. I returned to the internet cafe to see if they'll help. One guy offers to drive me on a motorbike for US$1. I decided that two people and a large backpack wasn't a flash option in Hanoi at night, so I decline. He then says he's heading home anyway, so he'll walk me.
His name was Hai, and he turned out to be very helpful and a good bloke. He was learning English, so was more than happy to chat during the 15 minute walk. He's a motorcycle taxi driver hoping to be a tour guide. He delivered me straight to my door, so I gave him the US$1 anyway, even though he didn't want it. Hai restored my faith in the Vietnamese people, which had been carved up rather speedily by the buggers at the other hotel.
JUICY FRUIT, I SEE DEAD PEOPLE and "MISTER YOU ARE VERY MEAN".
Breakfast is on the roof of the hotel, overlooking Hanoi. I decided to wander down to the Ho Chi Minh (HCM) Mausoleum and round that part of town. On the way I spot a food stand and buy a packet of Juicy Fruit.... not sure if its still available in Australia, but it is in Vietnam. I was immediately transported back to 1982 at the Junction Oval watching Fitzroy as a kid, as Juicy Fruit was the chewie of choice at the footy. The only difference between now in Hanoi and then was that the Roys never had a bloke named Nguyen playing at Centre Half Back.
I was first in line for the group to walk through into the building where Uncle Ho's body is on display. Apparently he wanted to be cremated, which probably explains his furrowed brow as instead he's all lit up for all to see. Its rather full of pomp and ceremony, with guards in white escorting the group up, saluting each other, and standing guard around him...
After spending time wandering past the dead fella himself, I then wandered past the Presedential Palace, Ho's House, and into the HCM Museum. Its a real eye-opener, with propaganda everywhere. One local asked me what I thought about Uncle Ho. I tried to explain that I was only born in '72 so didn't really understand the era, but it was a little difficult to translate.
As it was extremely hot I decided to catch a cab back to the Hotel to cool down. As I'm getting in the motorcycle taxi guys are trying to convince me to take a bike instead. As I get into the cab, one points to the driver of the cab and gives the universal "gun to the head pull the trigger" symbol. I took that as meaning he was trying to convince me that the taxi driver was going to shoot me. I took it as bullshit.
I returned to the hotel and mentioned the story to reception, who laughed and said it was much safer to catch cabs around town. And at about AUD$1.50 for the ten minutes into town, worth it.
After a cool down I decided to head to the Old Quarter of town to wander around. Its a unique place, with streets named after the majority of industry/shops in it... for instance there's Gravestone St, Tinmakers St, Blacksmith St, Motorbike Repair St, Coffin St, Altar St and Herbal Medicine Street.
My personal favourite was Counterfeit St, where they print up fake US
Dollars for Buddhists to offer as prayer gifts at temples. I collected about US$1000 for 20 cents. The Australian dollar is performing well...
I stopped off for a beer on the way back to the hotel. Your local brew here in Hanoi, called 'Bia Ha Noi' comes in about a supersized 550 ml stubbie. One of those in the humid weather and you are half on your way.
I was stopped by a guy (is this another scam?) who was doing an article in English for a Vietnamese Economics newspaper. I edited it for him - it was on Vietnam's potential entry into the World Trade Organisation. Hopefully I didn't change to many inappropriate words and cause an international incident.
Finally trying to get a cab, I was joined by a local kid selling postcards (one of about 4 billion kids trying to flog them to you). I said I didn't want one. He kept walking with me, speaking to me in English. I thought he was just practicing his English skills as everyone seems to want to do here, so I was happy to let him walk with me. As I'm trying to get into a cab he asked me once more to buy a postcard. I said again that I didn't want one. He closed off the conversation in perfect English, "Mister, you are very mean."
On the way out to dinner, I bumped into the English girl who was in the taxi from the airport. She also got scammed by them. Its good to know I'm not the only idiot tourist.
My first Vietnamese meal for the trip for dinner, with a great rice dish and chicken with lemon leaves dish. Throw in a juice and another local beer and you've got yourself a $5.60 bargain.....
PERFUME PAGODA, WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE, DONG! and MY SHARE OF GREAT FANNY
I decided to join a tour out to the Perfume Pagoda, which is 60km outside of Hanoi and allegedly impossible to get to on your own. I was joined by a number of Asian tourists, a French guy, an American Guy (who was a right royal "pain in the ass" as he said it a number of times), a French girl, a German girl, and a fella who I thought was a Korean tourist, who turned out to be "Hoona" from Sydney - his accent was more "Strayl-yun" than mine and he likes sport. Hence we spoke a great deal.
It was a two hour minibus trip to a small village next to a stream - well actually the village was next to a quagmire... we had to walk through the mud to get to the stream. It was then a one hour row boat ride up the Yen Stream, with a local old lady at the oars. The stream was only about 1 metre deep, very swampy, almost completely still, and very "Apocolypse Now". And as it was once again scorchingly hot and humid, I love the smell of body odour in the morning....
We were then told it was a 90 minute hike to the Cave Pagoda, our guide pointing us in the correct direction and then telling us he was going to wait at the bottom of the mountain (what?!?!). I was joined on the walk by a young local, who I actually thought was part of our tour package. He was enthusiastic, at my side constantly, and jibbering about all the various sites along the way in English that I could not comprehend at all.
We arrived at the cave totally sweat drenched, to walk in to a incense-smoke filled cavern. I could hardly see due to the smoke and sweat pouring into my eyes. It was very uncomfortable and difficult to appreciate because of the effort involved, with not much relief from the direct sunlight, except of course in the cave. The cave contained many a buddha and stalactite.....
It was then a 90 minute hike back to lunch. Just as we arrived back the young 'guide' started hassling me for money, even though I didn't ask for a guide and I had no idea what he had been saying. I was going to give him cash anyway, just as he asked. I've handed over what was a fair deal, and he demanded 5 times more! It took on begging proportions, but as he couldn't follow me into where lunch was served, I had some respite.
Thankfully the food was decent on this tour with different Vietnamese
dishes. After lunch, we made the 10 minute track to the more traditional pagodas at the bottom of the hill. They were more beautiful than the cave, and Chinese in style. I was then once again joined by the little bugger, who was hounding me for cash, telling me that Aussie Hoona had paid his guide three times more than me.
In the end I gave him more to get rid of him. Maybe I sound a bit harsh, but unfortunately it was a bit of a scam and it does encourage a begging mentality. I'm finding in Vietnam that its the honest people are the ones who don't expect cash (such as taxt drivers who take you directly to the destination and don't expect a tip, but are delighted when you give them one, versus others who take you via Nar Nar Goon and then try and keep the change and look at you peeved when you ask for the change back). I'm also finding that a few Vietnamese words are helpful - especially "Thank You". In Vietnamese, its "Cam On". In Australian, that sounds like "Come On". I'm finding when you do a double fist pumping "COME ON!" in Lleyton Hewitt style, they really love that.
I then found out Hoona had been told the same lie - "the other man gave his guide five times more than you....". We compared notes on the extremes of the Vietnamese people - the 'Honest Johns' (or should that be 'Honest Ng's') versus the others out to scam at any opportunity.
Hoona and I spent the one hour boat ride back talking footy, in between me taking too many photos of the magnificently peaceful scenery surrounding us. The new camera is working a treat. Upon our arrival back we made the walk back to the minibus, having to walk around an (apparently) dangerous Bull sitting on the track. Unfortunately going round him was an issue - I slipped down and stretched the bung knee again a little. I don't think any additional damage. It is on the improve, though at times still slightly uncomfortable.
After returning to the Hotel for a hosedown (I felt I needed one at least) I headed out via the ANZ Bank (they have an ATM here in Hanoi) to get some cash. The Vietnam currency, the Dong, is ridiculous. A 10,000 Dong note (there are no coins at all) equates to one Australian dollar. Hence to make a decent withdrawal, you walk out with wads of cash, and as a Dong-ionaire. After dinner I finished off with Gelati from Hanoi's finest Ice-cream establishment, "Fanny's Ice Cream". The coffee ice cream was superb, the best this side of Firenze. Someone should word them up on the name however.
