Adrianmurray's travel blogs:
|
|
  | |  |
Phuket
Entry 5 of 24 | show all | print this entry |
KIDNEYS, MAGNIFICENT PERMED MULLET, and THE HOOTCHIE INN
I caught a car to the HY airport (there's no airport in Songkhla) to fly to Phuket. The car driver mysteriously stopped off along the way. Whenever that happens in Asia, you always freak slightly (such as, hmmmm what value can he get for my kidneys on the black market, am I going to wake up in a bath of ice with a sign that says "Don't Get Up" above me), but as it turned out, he was ordering new tyres. Phew.
A 25 minute flight to Phuket, followed by a 60 minute wait (they told me 20 minutes the liars) followed by a 2 hour minibus ride around the island dropping people off at various hotels. The shonky minibus company stopped off along the way at an equally dodgy tourist office, to stitch people up with shonky deals on overpriced accommodation.
One guy had the best grey permed mullet I'd ever scene, with the obligatory little Thai girlfriend on his arm. They got dropped of at a hotel out the back of no where, called 'The Family Inn'. A white concrete block in the middle of who knows, with a young Thai prostitute (I assume) out the front... the Canadian bloke left in the minibus with me said "more like the Hootchie Innthan the Family Inn...."
Restful remainder of the afternoon at my (very nice) hotel pool.... followed by sensational Thai food. Red Curry Prawns.... mmmmm.
SHAKEN NOT STIRRED, FISHING VILLAGES and FAMOUS SPORTS STARS
Wandered through Kata Beach (where I'm staying) in the morning followed by a tour I booked the night before for the afternoon. The tour was called the "James Bond Island Tour". Sounds dodgy, but for $26 how can you go wrong....
We visited a Monkey Cave with a 15 metre gold reclining Buddha first, followed by a bus ride to the pier to get on a traditional longboat. The bus ride was an hour or so, so they put on James Bond "The Man With The Golden Gun" on the screen for us. The film was partially shot at the little island we were going to.
The boat trip out into Pha Nangan National Marine Park was spectacular. Islands jutting out of the water skyward everywhere like no place on earth. JB Island was amazingly beautiful - we had 40 minutes there, and at most stages I expected Roger Moore to emerge from the water.
Then it was onto a Muslim Fishing Village built on a tiny island. The land itself contains only the Mosque and the Cemetary. The houses, shops, schools, hospitals and Bunnings Warehouses (almost) for the 1,500 people who live there are built over the water on stilts. Every building is on a pier. It was incredible and quite humbling an existance to see. It puts perspective on the complaints you have about your own day-to-day life to a certain extent.
On the trip back on the bus, a few of us decided to catch up for dinner afterwards at a Japanese place at 9pm. As it turned out only me and a Canadian bloke named Carl turned up. He's travelling for 5 weeks, and mentioned "off season". We discussed travellling, and he mentioned he'd been to Laos He said he had stayed in some 5 star places, but as he got to do that through his work, he also stayed in downmarket places as well to meet travellers and 'real' people.
The Japanese food was dreadfully overpriced. After dinner we went in to Patong Beach for a couple of beers, deciding to go to the Lonely Planet's designated safe 'people watching bar' in Patong's main street - that meansacross the road from most of the bars where girls tout the blokes to come in and buy them a drink (thus you can people watch without the hassles). From a distance we debated as to which ones were "Radies" and which one's were "Radie Boys". Very hard to tell from a distance I must say, but rather humourous. There appears to be a lot of backyard boob jobs done in Thailand.
It turns out Carl is a pro-Ice Hockey player for Montreal in the NHL in North America. Probably a semi legend or something. I said I was Peter Garrett. He didn't believe me.
I had hired a motorbike to get me in to town, as in a motorbike for me to drive... so it was a slow and steady trip there and back. Dutch courage (we drank Heineken) got me back to the hotel safely.
MY OWN PRIVATE BIKIE GANG, AIR GUITARIST CRAPTACULAR, and WRESTLING Vs MUAY THAI BOXING
As mentioned, the night before I had hired a motorbike, as the Tuk Tuks and Songthaews (larger Tuk Tuks) are actually pretty expensive to grab around Phuket. So I hired an automatic put-put-put thing for $10 a day to get around. I decided to explore the island as a whole.
So with the sound of "Boooooorn To Be Wiiiiiild" running through my brain I hit the road to tour the island - great landscapes, out on the open road, the wind in my hair...... well almost, sans hair of course. (advantage #7 for having a very short haircut - no helmet hair issues). 35 kph and the world is my Oyster, or something like that.
I soon realised that from seeing the other people on Harleys, or at least 125 cc power bikes, and most without helmets, that the song in my mind was a little inappropriate. Change of CD in my brain to "The Pushbike Song" (you know the one - riding along on my pushbike, honey...) which was a little more my speed on this hunk of a machine.
Ended up at Wat Chalong (Chalong Temples) which was quite an amazing place. It made me feel strangely ethereal (always wanted to use that one in a legitimate sentence) being amongst all the Buddhists. Three enormous ornate temples, plus one wooden one with wax dummies of previous Monk spiritual leaders inside. They were spookily real, to the point where I actually wanted to prod one at one stage just to check. Probably not Buddhist-kosher to do that however....
At one stage, some massive firecrackers went off in the temple grounds. Call me terrorist paranoid, but that simply make you poo your pants. And they seem to do it a lot, those whacky whacky Buddhists. They invented the whoopie-cushion allegedly.
I found a little beach called Hat Lamala for lunch. Beautiful water, with a nice beach except for the compulsory rubbish washed up on shore (unfortunately common in Phuket). The beach had a small thatched hut food stall on it, so I ordered the Thai Vegetarian rice in this deserted place. The rice was absolutely sensational.
I headed to the post office to post some things home - already carrying to much unneccessary stuff so I've dumped 2.5kg on the Thai Postal Service's finest slow boat to Oz. Included is my China Lonely Planet guide book. At this stage, China ain't looking the goods, as more and more people are getting diagnosed, but more scarily, quarantined - I wouldn't like to be quarantined by the Chinese Government..... I'll re-assess later perhaps.
I headed back to Patong for dinner to walk around the town this time. It's a bizarre place where the shops, markets, bars, restaurants and KFC's run a couple of hundred metres deep inland from the beach. Lights are constantly ablaze - it is very different to where I'm staying at Kata Beach. There are many couples around, but mostly White Blokes with Thai Chickadees on their arms. (shhhh May-Ling leave me alone I'm trying to type an email....kidding - I stand out from the crowd as the bloke without the cliche.)
I weakened.... I didn't have Asian food for the first time in ten days (excluding breakfasts). Very ordinary cheeseburger while watching a guy air guitar in the bar area across from me. Five songs in a row he air-guitared (from ACDC through to Bwyan Adams "Summer of 69") making an absolute loser of himself. Currently he's leading the "Dickhead of the Holiday" award.
To close the day, I went to the Mauy Thai Vegas Bar - basically an open area bar with a boxing area in the middle. Allegedly "legitimate" fights take place, but I think they were actually just sparring/training, as one guy would protect the left side of his face with his gloves, and then surprise surprise the other bloke would high kick him to the protected areas. Occasionally they'd do a fake fall to the ground, and at the end of each round they'd pretend to psych themselves up with the obligatory dousing of
themselves with water. (much to the surprise to two front row Japanese tourists who were delighted to have sweaty boxer water fly on to them.). The whole thing was like watching the Wrestling. "Bring on Stone Cold Steve Austin" I yelled....
HELLO VERA, SUPER COLD BEER and MY FRIEND YOU WANT TO BUY SUIT?
I decided to head back to a beach I'd seen yesterday for a swim - so 45 minutes on the bike to Laem Sing Beach. I'm feeling more comfortable on the bike.... although the road rules around this place are quite 'elastic' in nature, its actually quite safe. Traffic merges from everywhere, but everyone is actually courteous about it. Everyone slows down or goes around if necessary so there are no problems with a slow Farang (tourist) like me.
The beach was very swimmable, with deck chairs to hire and cold Coca Cola at your call. Alas I got a little to much sun, so I headed to Boots Pharmacy on the way home. Aloe Vera is my friend, even though I now smell like a Gram-ma.
Dinner at a little restuarant near the hotel. I've decided that we can learn a thing or two from the Thais. We need to serve our beer colder. No doubt about it. Freeze it up almost I say.
Off to Phi Phi Island tomorrow, which hopefully means the last of (for a while) of "Hello My Friend, where are you going?". When you hear that, it means "wanna buy a suit?". At least the (traditional Thai) massage ladies just say "Mass-ass".... the tailors try to make a full coversation with you, getting you to stop, before hitting you with the suit question. I've taken a new approach - keep a hold of the conversation while walking briskly. When they open with "Hello my friend, where are you going" I usually quicken the pace and follow up with a "Hi mate, well I'm a little thirsty so I'm heading to the mini-mart for a bit of a refreshment. Think I might grab a Sprite. SO how are you my friend....". By the time they next get to respond with a "so would you like to buy a suit" they have to yell it up the street cos I'm two shops away. Very effective......
Where I stayed:
The Hoochie Inn
|
|
If you like this entry, search for other entries by adrianmurray, from Thailand or try a new search. |
| |
Back to Entry - Back to Home
|
