Trip Start Dec 22, 2009
Trip End Jun 22, 2010

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Where I stayed
Sigi's place

Flag of Germany  , Baden-Württemberg,
Monday, February 1, 2010

And you thought xylophone was a long word? Any guesses at what this German compound means? If you guessed, meeting a couple of Ukranians at the Palace of Justice (local courthouse) to hitchhike accorss Germany, then you guessed correctly. Mom, (Dixie), you can't use this against us.

So let me first start with the fact that Laura decided to take the mitfarg because it was going to cost nearly $200 USD to take a 3 hour train one way (wtf?).

Mission: get to Mannheim to see Adam's wrily great uncle Sigi Schmidt before heading out to meet up with my homie Christina Lehnert while simultaneously saving 170 USD, not dying or getting sold into prostitution.

Back to the story...

So we arrive at the Palace of Justice with the expectation that we were going to meet an extremely punctual, multilingual, friendly looking 20 something who would quickly motor us to Uncle Sigi's.

Unfortunately, things didn't work out exactly as planned! First, from the looks of our host, I wouldn't trust the guy with a stranger's expired AAA card. Second, the guy definitely did not speak English (or German for that matter) which was a little unnerving (especially since I know that I would definitely sell for a high price on the international human trafficing market).
Third, it became readily apparant that the delay in our departure was due to the fact that this guy's girfriend had some "important business" aka (had a court date) in the Palace of Justice. 

So let me break here to just recap that we have effectively just met a strange eastern european at a court house to hitch hike across Germany.

After waiting for an hour, we were reassured by a sweet, but possibly trafficed, Maria heralding from Ukrane. "I work the English" she exclaimed with a smile as I quietly whispered the hail mary under my breath. 

Just then, I quickly text messaged the license plate to the next of kin and hopped into a WV minivan. 

A couple of bad Ukranian ballads and tense phone calls in Russian on speaker phone our driver had the Яички (Russian for testicles) to start smoking in the van with closed windows... "Oh no he di'nt!" Immediately I glanced over to Adam and he gave me the "please don't get us dropped off on the side of the autobahn somewhere in Germany during snow storm" look. 

So, I sucked it up (nasty cigarette smoke that is) and just rode out the rest of the voyage on pissed off, but good behavior.

After about 3 hours of music consisting of  Russian + Violin + Accordian + Techno beat+ Electric Guitar we arrived at Mannheim HBF (our destination). Upon arrival, the bastard tried to screw us by saying that the ride was 20 more Euro than originally negotiated.

Ha! Apparantly this guy didn't realize that he was dealing with a white knuckled negotiator (don't forget I am Colombian, a CPA and pissed off!) Besides, I was already at my destination, he lost all of his levarage for negotiation! ! Next time, you should try to raise the price in the middle of the snow storm or when you "accidentally" turned off the highway and ended up in Romania - бессловесная ослица (Russian for dumb ass!)

After paying our originally negotiated fair rate we hopped out and headed for the station. Thanks random Eritrean Doctor friend who took the ride with us and helped us get our train ticket at the Mannheim HBF.

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Dixie Hernandez on

OMG and then some!!! Worse than I originally thought-Thank God you made it!!! Mom

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