Tragedy strikes on the way to Istanbul!

Trip Start Dec 22, 2009
Trip End Jun 22, 2010

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Flag of Netherlands  , Noord-Holland,
Friday, January 15, 2010

The time is 4:00 a.m. we spring into action at our Cologne Germany home base. Laura and I are sluggish from the previous night's Koln couch surfing meeting that had us home after 12:00. With less than 4 hours of sleep, we headed out into the night to find our subway leaving the station! Laura sighs…totally her fault for dragging!

Normally, this wouldn't be a bad thing, but we thought we were on a tight schedule and in danger of missing our 6:00 international flight to Istanbul…

After watching Laura completely freak out for 3 mins, she hailed nearby cabbie who happily drove us to the airport for 40 USD.

After arriving to the airport, we were greeted with reality that there wasn't any rush and that we could have waited for the train. Oh well…lesson learned!

For those who know me well, know that I love to share the most personal embarrassing moments of my life with them. Fortunately for you, I had one when we touched down in Amsterdam en route to Istanbul.

As we touched down in Amsterdam, I experienced that familiar internal notification that I needed to find the nearest clean toilet for some quality time before risking a 20,000 ft electronic bull ride. So I proceeded to the closest WC in the Schipol airport. Upon entering the area, I could see the sign for handicapped male with the door open  reflecting a vacant stall. This bathroom looked like a deluxe Marriott Suite with 70 cubic feet of space and a personal door. At this moment, my conscious reminded me that the extra space was for a wheel chair and that I needed to head to the other area for the regular stalls.

Moving forward into the much smellier men's room, I was lucky enough to find that all stalls had been taken. So, in typical Adam fashion, I waited my turn standing by the crap factory for approximately 3 minutes. Finally, after one gentleman exited, I entered into the stall to be confronted with what appeared to be a back field in Pasco county where a group of locals had been "boggin" all afternoon.

I immediately exited the stall and headed back to the 'Four Seasons' waiting for me down the hall.

Before I stepped in the door I looked left and right… no sign of handicapped people. So I took a deep breath and entered thinking to myself "let's make this quick Adam." Next down come the pants and additional info not necessary. Well everything had been going like usual until about 4 minutes in. All of a sudden I hear this knock on the door. I politely responded with "someone's in here" to no avail. Moments later, there was another loud KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK! I again responded: "Just a minute." I began to wipe quicker than I ever have before in my life! At that moment, a key turned in the lock and the door flung open.

Let me pause to reinforce that this story is completely and utterly verbatim with no "Adamfication"

So there I am, sitting on a toilet, pants around shins, pissed off uniformed man on a Segway and man with no legs in a wheelchair at the door yelling at me in Dutch. I then promptly jumped off of the toilet pulled my pants up and stated: "I said that I was in here".

The response I got was in broken English that I deciphered as "Shame on you American!!"

That was possibly the most shameful moment of my life..
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Maria Delgado on

You are tooooo funny!!!!

tkallmann on

Wow that was the funniest story I have heard in awhile. I definitely cried of laughter...hahaha... Oh Adam!!

Patrick Murray on

I am Still Laughing. On a Segway ? LOL.

Mary Maingot on

Adam, you explain things in such great detail. I laughed so hard that my eyes are watering, Damn you Americans!! love it.

Jen Gladson on

OMG!!! You should write a book and include all of your funny as hell stories!! Sounds like ya'll are having fun. I'm glad.

Cherie Resmondo-Williams on

No Adamification? While it is a hysterical story (and one much quoted in various boring meetings at FOI) I cannot wait to hear the unabridged Adamfied version when you get back!!!

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