5 things to remember

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Where I stayed
Catalina's House

Flag of Costa Rica  , San José,
Tuesday, September 8, 2009

1. It is alright to tongue kiss a stranger if you are in the corner of the discotec.

So  on my weekend excursion to the volcano and hot springs (which was really cool by the way) I met a girl from Switzerland. I can’t remember her name and I kind of don’t care, but I digress. She was cool…enough. And she spoke English…enough. So she invited me to the nightclub and I accepted the offer.  Oh I meant to mention that she was a slut. Not that I care, people should enjoy themselves. I maybe should have known when I met her that she was a slut by her off the shoulder shirt  or raspberry beret (she didn’t really have one, but I just really feel like it would have been hilarious if she did) Anyway we went to the club and she is man hungry.  By the end of the night she was tongue kissing some guy. I mean like teenage, amusement park dress alike tongue kissing. I have seen much worse in the club, but for some reason this sort of caught me off guard. So I recounted the story to my teacher (who is 60, divorced and really independent) and she told me that here…in Costa Rica…it was okay to be in the corner kissing someone you just met as long as you are in the discoteck…in the street…no. I guess the swiss girl knew that rule. I mean…she has been here longer.  

2.  Lack of fabric softener makes a towel a potential weapon

So I when I was packing, I decided at the last moment that I should take out one of my towels. That would leave me with two towels and still the 8 wash cloths. That was a big mistake. One of the towels I used as a blanket one day (long story) and the other Catalina had washed. I could not wait the three days that I am sure it would take my towel to dry. So I am an elitist who is crazy and spoiled I know…but no…the towel was like drying off in a briar patch. I mean I literally felt like I was rubbing rose thorns again my skin to dry it off. In addition it felt like taking a brillo pad and rubbing it on my intimates. I brought fabric softener but I am not sure how to ask her if I can use it. I mean…would that be rude? I also am unable to find a laundry mat where I can just sneak and wash them.

3. All Latino men are not expert dancers.

“Diane” and I decided  that we were going to take some dance lessons at a local school. I was pretty excited because I thought that I would be able to meet some locals. In addition, I thought that I would learn some sweet dance moves and be lead by a strong Latino man. Umm…not the case. The guys in my class were clumsy and not suave at all. I mean…I know that it is stereotypical but I thought that the culture called for sexy dance ability and most (if not all) Latino men were great at dancing or at least had rhythm. My thoughts were shattered. There were some foreigners in the class. I mean I was there. I did not expect, though, in my class in San Jose, Costa Rica to be dancing with Darryl from Buchannan, Michigan…yeah…nice.

4. A traditional Costa Rican meal can now be found...oh...right... nowhere.

All I want is chicken, fish and rice and beans. Apparently I did not get the memo that traditional Costa Rican food is no longer acceptable. KFC, McDonald’s, Taco Bell, Pizza hut, Subway  and something  called RostiPost are all the rave.  They have taken over every street corner and food court. When I have had traditional Costa Rican food somewhere out (not when Catalina cooks it) it has been…umm…well…not great.

5. I never need to return to the discotec

I mean…I know that I am too old to go to the club. I thought however that we were going dancing…sort of. I wanted to sort of experience the “social” scene. I thought perhaps I would do a step of Meregue or perhaps Bachata…not so much. The club…hot, smokey and a little musty. The music…the same crap they play at home except like maybe two years ago. The people there…of course there were fat women in ill fitting clothing, skinny girls with barely any clothing and guys standing around.  The dancing…the traditional hump a girl from the back two step.  
I am sad to know that choosing awful dancers to be on stage is international. I have been to many cities coast to coast in the US and I thought it was just there that the people who thought they could dance, but really were just chosen because they could fit the outfit, got to be on stage….not true.  I tasted the local drink Cacique. They tout it as a vodka rum mix. I am not sure the mix, I am sure of the taste…nast. I did stay until 3:30am. I had to be sure the party scene was not for me. I kept waiting for something interesting to happen. It didn’t.
I did learn though that it is acceptable to wear an old church dress and a pair of my Nana’s old shoes to the club if you’re German…thats good to know.
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