oriolesman's TravelStream™ — Recent TravelPod.com entries

oriolesman's TravelStream™ — Recent TravelPod.com entries TravelStream™ news feed for member oriolesman on TravelPod's free travel blogs service http://www.travelpod.com/syndication/rss/oriolesman en-us Copyright ©2009 TravelPod.com Sat, 08 Mar 2008 23:46:42 -0500 http://www.travelpod.com Coming Home — Bangkok, Thailand http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1204361760/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1204361760/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1204361760/tpod.html Sat, 08 Mar 2008 23:46:42 -0500 ThailandSteve- A Budding Buddhist's Journey to Thailand, Cambodia, and Laos

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Bangkok, Thailand

"We can travel a long way and do many different things, but our deepest happiness is not born from accumulating new experiences.  It is born from letting go of what is unnecessary and knowing ourselves to be always at home."Sharon Salzberg, Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of HappinessWhen Teacher was a young boy, coming home from school each day, something didn't seem quite right to him.  As soon as he walked through his front door, it felt like he was a stranger in his own house.  Then, for the first time, he sat down to meditate.  Telling his story, Teacher closed his eyes and recalled the experience.  "Finally," he said softly, smiling and pointing to his heart, "I was home."In a few hours, I'll be boarding a flight from Bangkok to New York, where I'll catch an Amtrak to my beloved Baltimore.  Over the past ten weeks, I've been on planes, trains, buses, minivans, cabs, tuk-tuks, and songthaews.  I've lumbered up the Mekong on a slow boat, paddled a kayak through mist-covered islands, and alit distant shores on ferries and longtail boats.  I've walked down Ahtit Road, climbed Phu Si Hill, and almost went to Pee Pee Island, and I'd like a little credit for not giggling and acting like a total nine-year old about it...until now.For a few fleeting seconds, I was even on a motorbike.During all that time, though, I wasn't far from home.  In fact, I was never really gone at all.I want to thank all of you for allowing me to share my stories.  This blog took on a life of its own, and I hope you've had a fraction of the fun reading my tales as I've had writing them.  It was kind of a journal, a divine burst of creativity, and an intensive therapy session all rolled up in one for me.  Maybe you got something out of it as well.  Thanks to those who sent me notes of encouragement and empathy, good humor, and bad jokes.  They really meant a lot to me.  As an aside, TravelPod has selected my blog to be featured on its website in the coming months, so I'm grateful for that as well, though I'm a tad uncomfortable with the idea that thousands of strangers will soon be reading about me crying like a schoolgirl.If this were a real book, this is the part where I'd say that any resemblance of individuals, living or dead, to the characters in this blog may be more than coincidental.  I was too damned lazy to change the names of people or places, so if you recognized yourself or someone else in these entries, you're probably right on the fucking money.  All of what you read was original material, composed by yours truly, with the exception of the stuff I borrowed, plagiarized, or outright stole.  I'm kidding, of course, though I'd like to thank the Lonely Planet for supplying me with a few geographical, political, and historical tidbits.Special thanks:To my entire family for their unconditional love and support, especially to my mom for the cool digital camera and for pretending not to be anxious about my trip when she was probably out of her friggin' mind; to my dad for truly knowing why I needed to do this; to my Aunt Ellen and Uncle Amy for the meditation cushion, which now has a well-defined ass-groove; and to my Uncle Bob for the incredibly helpful travel tips.To Jeff, Jerome, and the legion (or at least dozens) of captain jack fans for granting me a three-month hiatus from the band.  Assuming I still remember how to play guitar, we'll be back in action in a few short weeks- go to http://www.captainjacktheband.com for more details!To Erica W. for taking care of my house while I was away; and more importantly, for coping with my cat's unexpected medical crisis like the champ that she is.  I owe you big time, sport!To Austin, my super-cool "little brother" for being so patient with me while I was away; and to Laura D. for transcribing a kid-friendly version of my blog so he could come along on this trip with me.To Tracy S. for the amazing travel journal, without which this blog would never have been written.To Tania S. and Jen E. for inspiring me through their own life-affirming journeys across the world.To Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Maryland, for downsizing me out of a job, which forced me to think about what I really wanted to do with my life.  Sometimes the best gifts are wrapped in the ugliest of papers.To everyone at the International Buddhism Center at Wat Phra That Doi Suthep in Chiang Mai, Thailand; especially Adichai and Buddhasak (Teacher).To Matt and Maddie, Astrid, Pascale, Christina, Frank, Dikla, and the hundreds of wandering souls with whom I was incredibly fortunate to cross paths along the way.  If you ever need a place to crash in Baltimore, just let me know.And to the amazing people of Thailand, Laos, and Cambodia for their indescribable grace, friendliness, and hospitality.One of my favorite storytellers once remarked that many of us spend so much time worrying about choosing the "right" path that we wind up standing still, paralyzed by indecision, forgetting that what really counts is to just start walking, because every path is getting shorter at the far end.  To everyone who wrote that you were living vicariously through my travels, don't forget that your own journey is waiting patiently for you.  When you're ready to go, I hope you find yourself willing to blaze your own trail, put yourself in uncomfortable situations, and let go of what's no longer needed in your life.  If you do, I promise that adventure, self-discovery, and happiness will seek you out.  What you do from there is up to you.  Most of all, I wish you well in finding that elusive road we are always searching for.The way back home.In lovingkindness,Steve
]]> Angthong National Marine Park & Ko Phanghan — Ko Phangan, Thailand http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1204947360/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1204947360/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1204947360/tpod.html Fri, 07 Mar 2008 05:43:44 -0500 ThailandSteve- A Budding Buddhist's Journey to Thailand, Cambodia, and Laos

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Ko Phangan, Thailand

Sawatdee krap!  Yesterday's rains held out long enough for an outstanding day in the Angthong National Marine Park.  We sailed out from Ko Samui in the early hours of the morning and headed northwest toward the forty-two islands, which offer some of the most beautiful, vibrant, and undamaged coral in Thailand.  As a protected national park, the area remains nearly completely undeveloped, with just one restaurant and a few camping spots located on the main island.We spent the morning sea kayaking between some of the bizarre rock formations, snaking through some tight caves while hugging the coastline.  After some swimming and snorkeling, we paddled back to the boat for lunch while we jetted toward the southern-half of the park, where we kayaked some more, hiked up to Talay Nai (an emerald-green lagoon inside the mountains), and still had time left over for sunbathing.  I was back in Ko Samui by dinnertime and, after a quick shower, scarfed down some green curry, finished up a little shopping, and went to bed early.This morning, some major storms rolled in and I headed out for Ko Phangan.  Ko Phangan is often described as the rebel little sister of Samui - a relaxed backpackers' haven compared to its overstimulated sibling.  You can only reach the island by ferry, which was a bit of a challenge this morning considering the weather.  Between the horizontal rain and the rough seas kicking up waves on deck, everyone on board was completely drenched and a bit nauseous.  While no one got seasick, we were grateful the trip lasted only an hour.  I'll be sure to take a Dramamine before my return trip on Sunday! :)We anchored at Hat Rim, a beach town located on the island's southernmost tip.  Although Ko Phangan was first inhabited by Buddhist monks over 600 years ago because of its tranquility and spiritual importance, the island is now best-known for its Full Moon Party, a lunar get-together that attracts upwards of thirty thousand revelers each month and is the largest beach, psy-trance rave party in the world.  The action lasts until eleven in the morning and features a wide assortment of intoxicants - both legal and illegal - as well as celebrants in various state of undress.  Alas, the next full moon doesn't arrive for a few weeks, but I'm here on a weekend and this is town that doesn't need an excuse to party.I checked into the Sea Breeze, a secluded bungalow village just outside of Hat Rim Nai, far enough away from the drunks and foot traffic to ensure I'll get my beauty rest.  My place is pretty cheap, has hot water and air-con, and a cool little hammock balcony overlooking the west beach.  If it ever stops raining, I should have a spectacular view of the sunset!  Over the next few days, I hope to knock back a few beers, dodge the raindrops, and chill out before I fly back to Bangkok on Sunday, weather permitting.That's it for now.  Have a great weekend, everyone!
]]> Railay and Ko Samui — Krabi, Thailand http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1204727100/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1204727100/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1204727100/tpod.html Wed, 05 Mar 2008 10:18:25 -0500 ThailandSteve- A Budding Buddhist's Journey to Thailand, Cambodia, and Laos

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Krabi, Thailand

From Ko Chang, I hopped on a minibus to the pier followed by a ferry to the mainland, where I caught a flight to Krabi, which is located off the Andaman Sea on Thailand's east coast.  I ended up in Railay, a gorgeous beach community that can only be reached by longtail boat since there are no roads or vehicles in the town.  Railay is known for its top-notch rock climbing and some of the most beautiful beaches in the country, and I was not at all disappointed.While I didn't scale the limestone cliffs, I had a lot of fun floating on my back in the saltwater and looking up at them!  Most of my days - par for the course, as of late - were spent on the beach working on my tan, finishing Love in the Time of Cholera, and eating amazing food along the coastline.  For the first time in two months, I splurged on a nice hotel ($100 USD), and I have to say that it was nice to sit in the lap of semi-luxury, albeit for only a few nights.On Sunday, I met another kindred traveler on the beach.  Dikla has been living on the Upper West Side in New York for the past few years but is moving back home to Tel Aviv to be closer to her boyfriend and family after a one-month holiday detour in Thailand.  We hit it off right away and decided to travel together for the next week to cut our expenses.  Dikla introduced me to some other Israelis she had met, and we spent a fun Sunday night at a local reggae club in the jungle, where we listened to some good music and watched a five-round Thai boxing match.On Monday, we checked the weather forecast and saw that a tropical hurricane was heading up from the south.  So, in the spirit of spontaneity, I ditched the idea of going to Ko Phi-Phi and instead flew to Ko Samui in the Gulf of Thailand, hoping to avoid the rains.  We got here on Tuesday after a long day of travel and some difficulties with the local sangthaew drivers, who insisted on always dropping us off in the wrong spots.  But, all's well that ends well.  We found a very nice and reasonably-priced guest house on Chaweng Beach - the main tourist drag here on Ko Samui - and spent the past twenty-four hours eating curry, hanging out on the beach, and doing some shopping.  Chaweng Beach is like an ocean version of Bangkok- lots of massage parlors, girlie bars, stores selling cheap knock-offs, and a handful of gay cabaret shows.  But the beach is gorgeous and, more than a deserted island, Ko Samui will be a good transition for me as I prepare for life back in the States.Tomorrow, Dikla is off to Ko Pha-Ngan, a less-developed island just a half-hour ferry ride to the north.  I'll be spending the day on a sea kayaking trip around the Ang Thong Marine Park, an archipelago of about forty small islands, where I'll also get to do some snorkeling and caving.  I'll sleep in Ko Samui tomorrow night and likely head out to Ko Pha-Ngan to meet Dikla on Friday.Despite our strategic jaunt to Ko Samui, we couldn't avoid the rains.  It's the principle of anatta in action - the recognition that life, both within and outside of ourselves, is uncontrollable.  The clouds rolled in this evening and the weather forecast is calling for storms through the weekend.  Considering I've had near picture-perfect weather over the course of my entire trip, I'm definitely not complaining.  Rain or shine, nothing's going to spoil the next few days.  It's going to be a great home stretch for me.
]]> Doi Suthep- Part XIV: Leaving the Mountaintop — Krabi, Thailand http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1204361880/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1204361880/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1204361880/tpod.html Mon, 03 Mar 2008 05:22:55 -0500 ThailandSteve- A Budding Buddhist's Journey to Thailand, Cambodia, and Laos

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Krabi, Thailand

At half past three in the morning, on my last sleepless night at Wat Phra That Doi Suthep, I carefully crept up the mountainside to sit in the temple before the throngs of tourists arrived.  This had become something of a nightly ritual for me during Determination and I felt this was the perfect place and time in which everything that happened during my three weeks of meditation could be celebrated.Just an hour before my closing ceremony with Teacher, I made a woozy final prayer and headed off in the general direction of my room to prepare.  On my way, I made a quick but very necessary detour to the restroom.  I hadn't used the tourist bathroom before and, after walking in, I grumbled to myself for not discovering it earlier.  The toilets were obviously cleaned with relative frequency here, and there were actual mirrors, so for the first time in three weeks, I was able to see my own reflection.  I looked haggard, for sure, but I liked what I saw.After relieving myself of the burden of about a gallon of purified water and lemongrass tea, I went to wash my hands, and it was there that I read the sign that had been placed below the paper towel dispenser.  The Thai make a tremendous effort to post notices in English as a courtesy to the many foreigners who visit their country.  While the initiative is well-intentioned, much is lost in translation as nouns become verbs and singular becomes plural, but you can usually understand the gist of what they're trying to tell you.This particular sign, containing a mere seven words, was different.Please check your belonging before you leaveI silently repeated the words to myself.  Language is interesting, I thought.  Through the omission of a single letter, the writer's intended message had been completely altered, but the words couldn't have rang more clear to me.  There are signs, I thought to myself, and then there are Signs.I heard the words in my head for a third time.  Please check your belonging before you leave.  Here I was, just a few hours from completing one of the most significant experiences of my life, and I had become so focused on going to the next place, that I hadn't really thought about what the past three weeks had meant to me.  It was yet another reminder that being present is not a permanent skill that one acquires, but a habit that must be cultivated through regular practice and nourishment.When I thought about the word "belonging", I immediately associated it with a feeling of rootedness.  And as I've said before, Doi Suthep is the kind of place where people get reconnected to themselves, reaching down into their spiritual soil and touching deep within themselves to discover what they're made of.  As I thought about the past three weeks, I felt my belonging to the human condition, to the understanding of a universal experience of passion and pain, and to our shared search to find an end to our suffering.  My belonging is to a community of seekers - not just Buddhists, but all those who long to root themselves in a lifelong process of spiritual and personal enlightenment - but also as someone who just can't bear to take himself or life all that seriously, because all that searching can really suck the joy right out of life if you're not careful.  And my belonging lies in the seeds of rediscovery of genuine love and compassion for myself and others.Through my meditation practice here at Doi Suthep, I haven't transformed into a different person and I certainly haven't become enlightened.  That was never my goal.  I was hoping to emerge a slightly better person than when I arrived and, in that respect, I think I succeeded.  Buddhists talk a lot about traveling the path, and that's where I feel I am right now.  I'm still learning so much about myself and I hope I can be brave enough to keep walking down this road for a while.After a nap, I awoke somewhat refreshed and recharged.  I took a shower, ate lunch, loaded up my backpack, and cleaned out my room.  I walked over to the International Buddhism Center where I checked out, exchanging a few knowing smiles with my fellow meditators as I left.  As I reached the main entrance of the wat, I crossed the street and treated myself to a bag of freshly-cut pineapple.  I noticed that there was a large, gray elephant standing in an open pit directly in front of me.  He was kept there by a local entrepreneur who charges passerbys a few dollars for the pleasure of giving the elephant some food or having their picture taken with him.  I learned that the elephant stands there day and night, never moving from that spot, and I realized that I had walked by him at least three times since arriving at Doi Suthep without noticing him.  And I wondered with amazement how I could walk past a two-ton animal without seeing it.I located a driver, negotiated a reasonable fare to Chiang Mai, and slung my pack inside his truck, hopping in after it.  There were a few Australian tourists already inside, talking about some big business deal they recently made.  They looked over, smiled and nodded at me, and quickly returned to their conversation.  The driver turned the ignition key and began the long, winding descent down the mountaintop, snaking his way precariously along the switchbacks carved into the sides of the cliffs.  I sat at the back of the truck, watching the temple as it slowly got smaller and smaller, eventually disappearing from view, and I started to smile.  It was a stupid, contagious smile that grew larger as we drove away, spreading out across my face like sunshine.  And there I was, a grinning fool, eating my pineapple and barreling down the side of a mountain balanced on the back of a truck, feeling the rush of wind against my face, and silently repeating a single word under my breath.Knowing...knowing...knowing...
]]> Ko Chang — Trat, Thailand http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1204035060/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1204035060/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1204035060/tpod.html Thu, 28 Feb 2008 04:21:22 -0500 ThailandSteve- A Budding Buddhist's Journey to Thailand, Cambodia, and Laos

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Trat, Thailand

As my ferry pulled into the Tha Dan Kao pier on the island of Ko Chang , I couldn't help but feel as though I was reliving an old episode of "Fantasy Island" or "The Love Boat."  I don't care what the critics say, those were great shows, if for no other reason than because within the first five minutes, you knew what everyone's story was and what kind of personal problems the crew was going to help them resolve in the next hour.  When Erin Moran, Jamie Farr, and Nipsey Russell stepped onto the lido deck, you knew they were going to be just fine.Gopher: Gosh, Captain, who's the pretty lady?  She sure does look familiar!Captain Steubing: She should, Gopher.  That's Tammy Lynn, the big country music star out of Nashville.Gopher: Golly, it IS her!  I'm a big fan of her eight-tracks.  Do you think it would be OK to ask for an autograph?Captain Steubing: She might not be in the best mood to meet her number one fan, Gopher.  Didn't you hear? Her fiance, some big-time music producer, left her on the altar. This was supposed to be her honeymoon.Doc: Sounds tough, Captain.  But I've got just the right medicine to heal a broken heart.Julie: Oh, Doc!  You're incorrigible!  How many venereal diseases do you have now?Doc: Thirteen and counting.  Which is surprising, since I'm not at all attractive.  It's a good thing I became a doctor on a floating trap for women, otherwise I'd never get any action.Vicki: Better make that fourteen, Doc.  My test results just came in from the clinic on Puerta Vallarta.  Chlamydia!!Captain Steubing: Doc!!!!Isaac: Well, awwlll rigghhtt! (said with a double-finger-pointing gesture)When we disembarked, I took a half-hour shuttle ride to Lonely Beach on the west side of the island, where I checked in at the Siam Beach Resort.  This is a simply gorgeous place.  Ko Chang is located just off the southeast coast of Thailand, near the Cambodian border, and is the country's second largest island after Ko Samui.  Development has been limited to the west coast beaches, and seventy-five percent of the island is untouched rainforest.  It's still fairly easy to find a deserted stretch of coastline with white sand and clear blue water, and I was pretty much a beach bum for my first three days.I'm staying in a rustic bungalow built into a cliff overlooking the beach.  There's no hot water and I have to check the bedsheets for lizards before I go to sleep (but, hey, who hasn't gone to bed with a lizard at some point in their life?!), but it's thirty bucks a night and I can hear the ocean from my room.Lonely Beach - which is more crowded than you would think - is far south of the main tourist area on the island, which is nice.  There are only a handful of Thai people here, as this is mainly a resort beach for young Europeans.  Speaking of, if I may give a spot of advice to my friends from the Continent here on holiday....just a little bit of healthy body shame can go a long way toward improving the beach aesthetic for all of us.  If you're twenty-five with a hot body and want to parade around topless, be my guest, please.  But if you're fifty-five and overweight, the only thongs you should be wearing are on your feet.All kidding aside, I'm fully in favor of topless beaches (big surprise for those of you who know me well, I'm sure!), but not for the obvious reasons.  If you ask the average American man how many hours of his life have been spent thinking about or trying to see naked breasts, he will likely respond that it is easier to count the hours not involved in that pursuit.  But European women figured it out, because they just put "the girls" out there.  No mystery, no tease, no objectification- just boobies.  It's a very sensible and liberated approach.  As for you Euroboys, however, I have to draw the line somewhere.  No one needs to see your man-package barely concealed in a neon Speedo.And why do female tourists always insist on getting their hair braided when they're on a tropical beach??  Look around, people!!  None of the natives do it because they know it looks ridiculous.  I know it was really popular with Bo Derek in "10", but honestly, when she was running down the beach in slow-motion, no one was actually looking at her hair....OK, anyway....sorry about that.  I've been spending most of my days working on my tan, alternating between the beach and the hotel pool, with an occasional massage or banana shake just to mix things up.  I'm up just after sunrise, eat my meals on the coastline, read a lot, and am usually in bed by ten at night.  It's a big change of pace for me after running around the region for the past month, but I was ready for a little quality time with my inner slug.I'm finally feeling a hundred percent after my battle with a minor bacterial infection, so today I went on a day-long group trek through the south part of the island with Jungleman and Monkeyman.  We hiked through pristine rainforest and spotted monkeys, snakes, and two very large and very hairy tarantulas.  We saw waterfalls, learned how rubber is tapped from trees to make little plastic toys in Japan (the rubber sap sells for about $2 a kilo), and got some great exercise.Tomorrow, I'm leaving Ko Chang and flying to the Krabi province, which is supposedly the most beautiful area in Thailand, to see some beaches on the Andaman Sea.  Take care!
]]> Doi Suthep- Part XIII: More Determination — Trat, Thailand http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1204035300/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1204035300/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1204035300/tpod.html Wed, 27 Feb 2008 09:39:46 -0500 ThailandSteve- A Budding Buddhist's Journey to Thailand, Cambodia, and Laos

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Trat, Thailand

What follows are highlights from my period of Determination at Wat Phra That Doi Suthep: January 20th 7:00 a.m. - Determination begins with opening ceremony and instructions.  Let's do this thing, baby! 7:30 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. - Good, solid meditation. Some sessions good, some mediocre. 7:14 p.m. - I leave my room for the first time and get a cup of hot cocoa.  Yum. 11:23 p.m. - I notice that during my walking meditation, I always end up veering toward the right.  Note to self: get a front-end alignment when I get back to Baltimore. January 21st 2:11 a.m. - I realize that it's my 39th birthday and I'm doing walking meditation in front of a Buddha image on top of a mountain at a wat in Northern Thailand.  It's two in the morning, I'm hungry, tired, and in a lot of pain. This is either really cool or really stupid. 3:03 a.m. - I notice that my new "floating" technique comes in handy during Determination, since I don't have a lot of energy to move my legs.  Sweet! 4:00 a.m. - Doing walking meditation in the garden, I hear a monk's alarm clock go off.  He hits the snooze button three times.  How funny is that? 4:17 a.m. - I'm going back to my room now.  It's still dark and all the sticks lying around are starting to look like snakes to me. 6:30 a.m. - Just had my meeting with Teacher.  Today's exercise is "Arising and Ceasing," designed to bring about extreme relaxation.  I only nodded off for ten minutes during the last twenty-four hours, during a sitting meditation session. 7:11 a.m. - Feeling good now that I've had breakfast and the sun is up.  Determined to have a good day today. 10:23 a.m. - My back is killing me.  I realize that it's because I walk slightly hunched forward.  Silently, I curse my parents for not treating my childhood scoliosis. 11:20 a.m. - I had pineapple with my lunch.  In an inspired flash of brilliance, I construct a birthday shrine out of a Buddha candle and a discarded toilet paper roll.  I sing to myself in my head and make a birthday wish - to have more lovingkindness and compassion for myself and all sentient beings. 9:36 p.m. - I realize that floating doesn't work well when I'm really tired, because my legs move without telling the rest of my body.  I've almost fallen over three times already.  Note to self: stop doing walking meditation near the edge of the mountain. 11:44 p.m. - I feel my powers growing stronger every day.  Foolish monks....they do not know of my fiendish plan to use their teachings for evil.  Their skill of living in the present moment is most impressive, indeed.  Soon, if I continue to master their technique, I shall be able to travel back in time, acquiring the power I truly deserve and making all mortals bow down to me as the god I am.  Mwa-ha-ha-ha.  MWAH-hah-hah-hah!  MWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH!!! 11:48 p.m. - OK, I'm better now. January 22nd 1:40 a.m. - I experience my first hallucination.  Sitting in the meditation garden, I see a leaf that looks exactly like Buddha, staring at the full moon.  I take that as a sign and stare at the moon for fifteen minutes.  Then I realize that it's just a fucking leaf. 6:00 a.m.- My daily meeting with Teacher.  Today, I will strive to reach the state of "Meditation Without Consciousness of Outside Phenomena".  I have achieved it before, but am worried that I won't be able to create it on demand.  Teacher addresses my question as though he reads my mind, and replies that if I do not reach the state, it is OK. 6:30 a.m. - Breakfast in my room.  Four slices of toast and some jam.  I haven't eaten in nineteen hours.  Are you friggin' kidding me?? 7:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. - Meditation, interrupted frequently by sexual fantasy.  At least it's keeping me awake. 5:15 p.m. - I experience a surge of energy and hopefulness. 5:23 p.m. - No, that was a phase.  I'm hungry and I'm tired and my back hurts.  This sucks 8:14 p.m. - The cats in the meditation room come to keep me company.  One of them curls up and sleeps in my lap.  Nice kitty. 8:33 p.m. - Damn it, I have cat hair in my eye and I can't flush it out.  Damn it, kitty, that's a bad kitty!!  Why aren't there any mirrors here?  I think my cornea is scratched, but I haven't slept for a couple days, so I'm probably making it sound worse than it is.  But what if I have to go to the hospital and I can't speak to anyone to tell them what the problem is?   How the fuck am I going to manage the rest of the night with one fucking eye?!?!? 8:41 p.m. - It's OK.  Cat hair is out of my eye now.  I feel better.  Sorry for freaking out.... January 23rd 1:52 a.m. - I'm like Michael Douglas in "Running", staggering toward the finish line (how's that for an obscure movie reference?!).  I can barely manage walking meditation.  My legs are shaking and I topple over frequently.  Thank god no one else is around, because this is downright embarrassing.  I can't even sleep during sitting meditation, because I'm too wired in an uber-exhausted kind of way. 2:34 a.m. - I am meditating in the garden but am interrupted by a voice in the distance saying, over and over again, "Finland...Finland...Finland...".  I track down the sound, and it's not a voice at all.  It's just the clicking of the waterwheel.  My mind is playing tricks on me.  Damn you, waterwheel!!!! 3:01 a.m. - I feel peacefulness and clarity of mind.  I think I'm going to make it. 3:09 a.m. - I am standing on the roof of the meditation hall with eight monks, singing "I Am the Walrus."  Naked.... 4:30 a.m. - One hour to go. 6:00 a.m.- I just completed my closing ceremony.  It was nothing like the one they do in the Olympics, by the way.  Teacher was very proud, noting that most do not finish the introductory course.  He gives me my instructions for practicimitation for when I leave the center. 6:30 a.m. - I eat my breakfast and nap for three hours Note: All of the above actually happened to me during Determination, with the exception, of course, of singing with the monks on the roof.  We actually sang "Yellow Submarine". Coming Soon- Part XIV: Leaving the Mountaintop
]]> Doi Suthep- Part XII: The Breakthrough — Trat, Thailand http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1203925980/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1203925980/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1203925980/tpod.html Mon, 25 Feb 2008 05:22:40 -0500 ThailandSteve- A Budding Buddhist's Journey to Thailand, Cambodia, and Laos

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Trat, Thailand

When was the last timeyou looked inside your heart and saidIt's beautiful here....?My breakthrough at Wat Phra That Doi Suthep happened on Sunday afternoon, about eight hours into Determination.  It came after a solid night's rest and only a few hours after lunch, so sleep deprivation and hunger didn't play any meaningful role in the experience, though I can't speak for the potential hallucinatory side effects of my antimalarial medication.I met with Teacher at seven that morning to begin this last phase of my introductory vipassana training.  After receiving my meditation instruction, I headed back to my room, leaving only to fill my water bottle and use the bathroom - for, as the rule of karma says, every action has a cause.  I spent the day in walking and sitting meditation.  As usual, some of my sessions were extremely to mildly pleasant while others were forced or uninspired.At four in the afternoon, I had just started sitting for another fifty-minute session.  My archenemy, Waterwheel, was at it again, and I was having a difficult time locating my center.  I decided to note the sensation of hearing the sound, then the feelings of tension and anxiety in my body it was producing, and finally the accompanying emotion of fear I was experiencing.  As I did this, I found myself engaged in a familiar internal dialogue, trying to make myself feel better, to stop being annoyed, to rationalize why the sound shouldn't be a distraction.  But my fear of failure continued to build, and I felt powerless to do anything about it.And then, in an instant, I decided that I was just plain tired of this shit.  I was tired of my relentless self-judging.  I was tired of being so god damned hard on myself.  I said three words to myself in a voice of complete conviction, like I had never meant anything else I had ever said in my life.let.....it.....go.....And that's when it happened.  Immediately after I said those words, a powerful energy surged through my body, what I can only describe to you now as the force of pure awareness: a stream of consciousness without attachment that did not belong to me, but to the universe itself.  By the way, for the kids at home, now would be a good time to drop some acid if you have any....For most of my life, I've noticed that I always seem to take in just a little more breath than I let out, so that when I've finished breathing, it's like there's a little bit of extra air trapped inside of my body with nowhere to go.  Immediately, this pure awareness went to work on my lungs, and I began what would amount to an hour-long exhalation.  I honestly don't recall taking any oxygen in, although physiologically I'm sure I must have.  It was like the air being let out of a balloon, and I felt as though my body was slowly decompressing and shrinking.At the same time, the energy focused its efforts on my shoulders and neck, giving me a massage from the inside out, slowly and fully loosening my muscles.  From there, it moved down to my chest, prying away the vice-like grip there, so my heart was allowed to beat freely and without constraint for the first time in what seemed like forever.  It crept down into my back, worked through the knot in my stomach, and wound its way through every pore of my physical being.After my body was free from tension and pain, I could see clearly inside myself, and I realized how powerful that physical armor had been.  All of that air and all of that tension over all of that time, trying to protect me.  Now, with my defenses down, I felt raw and exposed and real.  There was nothing to protect anymore, just an opportunity to embrace and love.In just a second's time, I was able to offer myself complete forgiveness.  Forgiveness for being so hard on myself, for my frustrations and fears, from the self-doubts formed here and from many years ago, for just....everything.  And as I accepted this forgiveness, I cried for a very, very long time.  By the way, we're talking about serious crying here, you know?  The kind where you totally don't care what anyone thinks, so the saltwater and the snot is just everywhere?  I don't really know why I cried, and I didn't try to figure it out at the time, but looking back, I think there were as many tears of gratitude as there were ones of compassion.And then, as quickly as it had started, it was over.  My eyes opened.  Almost an hour and a half had passed since my session started.  I expected to find myself slumped over in my chair, nearly on the floor - I certainly felt as though I had been physically and mentally run over by a truck - but I was sitting fully upright.  I hadn't moved an inch during the entire ninety minutes.  I felt calm and peaceful.  I felt good.A few hours later, I found myself settling back into my familiar pattern of doubt and self-judgment, but that's OK.  Pure awareness isn't a permanent state of being for any of us, and I was really just grateful to have borrowed some for a little while.  I'm grateful to realize there's a universal force that can strip off the layers and force us to get real if we have the courage to see what's underneath.  I've been thinking about it a lot, and for me, I think it's about being more vulnerable and less afraid of what that says about me.  I need to work on letting that go, too.Coming Soon- Part XIII- More Determination
]]> Angkor Wat — Siem Reap, Cambodia http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1203747600/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1203747600/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1203747600/tpod.html Sat, 23 Feb 2008 01:25:05 -0500 ThailandSteve- A Budding Buddhist's Journey to Thailand, Cambodia, and Laos

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Siem Reap, Cambodia

Sua s'dei, everyone!I arrived in Cambodia on Wednesday with the intent of spending three days touring the Angkor Wat temples.  Unfortunately, a nasty stomach virus derailed those plans, and I've spent most of my time in my room, trying to keep food down and stay hydrated.  It's the principle of anatta in action- life, ultimately, is beyond our control, so I didn't waste too much energy feeling bad about the situation.With some help from my tuk-tuk driver, Sokhut, I was able to get out and see some of the ruins on Friday.  The temples of Angkor, built between the 9th and 13th centuries, are truly inspiring, and not just because of their size and scale.  Walking among them, you're transported back to an era in which this region was the epicenter of a vast Khmer empire.  The temples are a source of tremendous pride for the Cambodian people, especially in light of the atrocities they suffered during the short but brutal reign of the Khmer Rouge.  Almost 2 million Cambodians died between 1975 and 1979 as a direct result of this regime of terror.On the surface, though, you wouldn't be able to tell.  The people here are friendly and eager to please, especially in Siem Reap where tourism dollars fuel the economy.  Adorable children follow you around selling postcards ("Hello, mister!  Where you from?  United States?  Your capital is Washington D.C. and 300 million people live in your country!"), tuk-tuk drivers are aggressive but courteous, and there are scores of hip restaurants, clubs, and bars open late into the evening.  Siem Reap also seems to have a fascination for '80s American subculture and "happy pizza", which is pizza topped with ganja (seriously).It's going to take a while to rebuild here - there's still a lot of government corruption, grinding poverty, and one of the highest infant mortality rates in the world.  But I can't help but feel hopeful for the Khmer people.  They built the Angkor temples, one of the most significant human accomplishments in the history of the world, so I think they're capable of almost anything.Tomorrow, I fly back to Thailand to spend five days on Ko Chang, a small island known for its beaches, national park, and diving.Take care!Steve
]]> Silent Partners — Siem Reap, Cambodia http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1203677580/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1203677580/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1203677580/tpod.html Fri, 22 Feb 2008 07:24:27 -0500 ThailandSteve- A Budding Buddhist's Journey to Thailand, Cambodia, and Laos

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Siem Reap, Cambodia

If you spend enough time in Thailand, you're bound to see some pretty freaky things.  Like monks smoking cigarettes while talking on their cellphones, or two-year olds balanced precariously without helmets on the handlebars of motor bikes.  One of my personal favorites was a German-themed restaurant near the Night Bazaar in Chiang Mai, where the owner had decided to dress up his young Thai waitresses like St. Pauli girls from Bizarro-World as they served bratwurst and Heineken to hungry tourists.In my eyes, however, none of these strange sights holds a candle to the unsettling phenomena of the farang-Thai couple.  They're everywhere, walking hand-in-hand down city streets, sitting in tuk-tuks, and canoodling on airplanes.  Typically, he's white, at least sixty years old, overweight, and badly dressed.  She's about thirty years his junior, petite, and attractive.There are thousands of these couples in Thailand, and after a while, you just get used to seeing them.  Thinking about it, it's really a very efficient sort of relationship.  He gets to screw a woman young enough to be his daughter and doesn't have to worry about doing his own laundry or cooking his own meals.  She gets herself a genuine sugar daddy and simply has to tolerate the afore-mentioned screwing.  As an added bonus, she can sleep soundly knowing that one morning, in the not-too-distant future, he will be dead.On a side note, some of my new Thai friends have told me that these women have little alternative.  Apparently, most Thai men prefer going out with light-skinned women - it's a sign of social status.  And despite the myriad of products on the market designed to lighten your complexion, many Thai women are dark-skinned - except, of course, for the children of biracial couples - making them unattractive to the local boys.  I note to myself that many of my pale American friends shell out about fifty bucks a month to sit in a tanning bed in order to improve their dating chances, but I think we're fresh out of irony at this point.But....I digress...I'm a liberated kind of guy and usually the last person to stick my nose in other people's business, but I have a very hard time accepting these relationships.  There seems to be something fundamentally wrong about them.  For starters, there's the language barrier.  He doesn't speak a word of Thai, and she barely understands English.  I only know how to say a few things in Thai - hello, how much, and thank you -  and while those phrases are probably enough for an entertaining evening in Bangkok, it's hardly the verbal dexterity necessary to sustain a long-term commitment.  I watch these couples sitting together at restaurants, and they just....sit there...without speaking a word.  In America, you usually have to be married at least a year or two before you get to this point.It just seems pathetic that this is what it's come to, that communication is now an optional dating skill.  I look at this guy, bad comb-over and all, and feel sorry for him.And then I realize that, after paying the check, this guy is going home for an evening of big-league bonking, then will put on some clean pajamas still warm from the dryer and enjoy a foot massage.  Meanwhile, I'm going back to my guesthouse, alone, where I'll end up watching the Transformers movie with Thai overdubbing.And who's feeling sorry for whom, exactly?I'm nearly forty years old, divorced, and have a string of unsuccessful relationships to my credit.  So who the hell am I to be doling out romantic advice?  I've always thought communication was important, but come to think of it, I'm hard-pressed to think of a single scenario in which opening my mouth actually helped me in a relationship.  On the other hand, I can recall hundreds of times when I said something incredibly stupid to a woman, only to immediately wish, "Gee, I really wish she didn't understand English."So, perhaps Thailand is the new retirement mecca of the world for flabby Westerners.  If you're over sixty, have a moderate-sized bank account, and are single - or perhaps with just a very understanding wife - I'm guessing you could make a pretty good life for yourself here.  It's just as warm as it is in Florida, a hell of a lot prettier, and the cost of living is lower than anywhere in America outside of the Appalachians.And then something else occurs to me.  Maybe these guys are on to something more profound than I gave them credit for.  Perhaps the real beauty of these arrangements, these quiet courtships, is the mystery that accompanies them.  Because in silence, anything is possible.  At the beginning of a relationship, there's a palpable sense of potential in the air.  This could be the woman of your dreams- intelligent, independent, and self-assured.  And he could be the man of yours- sensitive, confident, and funny.  Then, as they always do, they open their mouths and reveal to us their many imperfections.  And the longer we stay silent ourselves, they longer we can pretend that we're the people we'd like to be instead of the people we truly are - insecure, flawed, and human.Maybe that's it.But mostly, though, I imagine it's about the bonking.
]]> One Night in Bangkok — Bangkok, Thailand http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1203502680/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1203502680/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/oriolesman/thailandsteve/1203502680/tpod.html Wed, 20 Feb 2008 07:24:15 -0500 ThailandSteve- A Budding Buddhist's Journey to Thailand, Cambodia, and Laos

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Bangkok, Thailand

The sleeper train from Chiang Mai to Bangkok was somewhat of a misnomer, at least for me.  While it was a special express train with limited stops over the course of twelve hours, there weren't actually any sleeper cars.  The chairs were big and comfortable enough, but the air-con was way too strong for me, and I didn't sleep more than a few hours.  The train pulled into Bangkok at nine in the morning and I headed straight for my hotel, after spending several minutes convincing my tuk-tuk driver that I expected to be driven to the decent hotel I had paid for, rather than the sleazy one from which he was getting a commission.  I swear, the hawking and scams around the airports, train stations, and tourist spots in Bangkok make New York City seem like a sweet little backwater town. Anyway, fatigue be damned, I wasn't going to spend my only day in Thailand's capital city sleeping in my hotel room, so I mustered up some energy and hailed a taxi to take me to the two places I wanted to see: Wat Pho, the oldest temple in Bangkok, and the Grand Palace. Wat Pho features the largest collection of Buddha images in the country - nearly 400 - and was the nation's earliest center for public education.  In addition, it houses the largest reclining Buddha image in the world.  The  reclining image represents His position just before dying, or passing into paranibbana.  It is the Buddha image celebrated by those, like me, born on a Tuesday.  And I visited Wat Pho on a Tuesday, which was apropos. Let me explain how big the statue is.  King Rama III had the image moulded and cast first, and then he built the vihara (temple) around it.  The statue is 46 meters long with the head rising 15 meters high.  His feet are three meters high and five meters long (note the interesting juxtaposition of the standard and metric measuring systems in that phrase, by the way), and their soles are inlaid with mother-of-pearl showing the 108 auspicious characteristics (lakasana) of the Buddha.  It was amazing to see, and I almost forgot that I was crammed into the temple with about a thousand other tourists.  The rest of the grounds are equally impressive, with a number of other ancient chapels, including one under which the remains of King Rama I are interred. Afterwards, I walked down the street to see the Grand Palace and Wat Phra Kaew.  The palace is the former residence of Thailand's king and is now used mainly for ceremonial purposes, and of course as a tourist trap with a 250 baht ($8) entrance fee.  There are numerous buildings on the palace grounds, but I didn't get to see them all because the King's sister, the Princess, passed away in early January and her body has been lying in state there ever since.  Given the length of time and warm temperatures here, however, I'm not sure exactly what kind of state it's in. I spoke with a member of the royal information staff, and she informed me that due to public demand, the body would be available for viewing for a total of three months.  I don't know what kind of preservation techniques they have here, but American mortuary science could probably learn a few things from Thailand.  I asked how many citizens had come to pay their respects, and she responded that the palace receives over 10,000 visitors each day.  That means that by the time the Princess is buried, over 1,000,000 people will have traveled to Bangkok- many of whom are extremely poor and have to get on a bus for nearly a full day just to get here - to honor her.  I think this is just remarkable.  I can't imagine most Americans traveling that far to see a dead body, unless maybe you were allowed to poke it with a stick or something. Wat Phra Kaew, located on the palace grounds, is a ornate private chapel used exclusively by His Royal Highness (in the words of Mel Brooks, "It's good to be the king!").  The wat's primary attraction is the Emerald Buddha - which, incidentally, isn't emerald but jade.  This image was stolen and taken to Laos in the Middle Ages only to be recaptured by Thailand several hundred years later, so it's an image that the Thai people are particularly proud of. I left the Grand Palace and walked north, along the Mae Nam Chao River.  I passed Thammasat University, where hundreds of pro-democracy student protesters were killed by the military in 1976, and Democracy Monument, where they are memorialized.  After a late lunch at Roti-Mataba, I headed west and found Khao San Road, which is the mega-watt backpackers' alley of Bangkok.  It was only four in the afternoon, and it was already crowded.  I can't imagine what it's like at night. And I suppose that's what I'll have to do - imagine - because I had completely run out of steam.  I caught a tuk-tuk back to my hotel, checked my Email, and had dinner at the restaurant there.  I noticed that my room came with an actual bathtub, and since it was the first time I had access to a tub in nearly two months, I took a very long, hot bath.  I climbed into bed, read some Paolo Coehlo, and fell asleep before ten. Next up is Cambodia and the ruins of Angkor Wat.  Take care, everyone!
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