TravelStream™ news feed for member francesco0 on TravelPod's free travel blogs service http://www.travelpod.com/syndication/rss/francesco0 en-us Copyright ©2009 TravelPod.com Mon, 30 Nov 2009 03:31:21 -0500 http://www.travelpod.com http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1259551550/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1259551550/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1259551550/tpod.html Mon, 30 Nov 2009 03:31:21 -0500 Viet Nam: Putting Down Roots

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Nha Trang, Vietnam

Here is a youtube link of my students singing The River by Garth Brooks. We spent more time discussing the philosophy and meaning of the words of the song than actually learning the song. When we were done we formed singing groups and had a competition. You should have seen the kids working hard to sound good. If you like the video post a comment on youtube. They read them all and get pretty excited when someone says something nice about their singing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOCS278Mu0U

]]> http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1258694723/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1258694723/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1258694723/tpod.html Sat, 28 Nov 2009 05:03:18 -0500 Viet Nam: Putting Down Roots

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Nha Trang, Vietnam

November 20th was Teacher Appreciation Day in Vietnam. Imagine. A major holiday for teachers. No school. Big celebrations. Teachers are one of the most highly respected professions, if not the most, in the country. I came to my morning class and was greeted with a bouquet of flowers, a beautiful card in English and Vietnamese, and a student representative who read a very long statement about how Vietnamese students love and value all that theirs teachers do for them. It is no wonder I love teaching here.

November 21st I was invited by my friend Vung to attend a meeting between him and the principle investor and founder of Pacific Ocean University. The investor has asked Vung to make a proposal for opening a language school in Nha Trang. Vung asked me to help and come with him to the meeting. I went. Of course, the meeting was all in Vietnamese and all I understood was when Vung introduced me to the big guy. Who knows if this will lead to anything. For example...

Previously I was introduced to the director of The Center For International Cooperation. By becoming involved with the NGO I would be able to get my working permit. Turns out this organization is nothing more than part of a travel agency that tutors students how to pass their Visa interviews so they can study abroad. No work permit is in sight. But I do get to tutor her kids for free on Sunday afternoons. Somehow I think I got tricked. Other than that the week was pretty quiet. I'm getting excited about coming home in three weeks. Hotel living is becoming a pain. When I return in January I will rent an apartment for sure.

And on the domestic scene here there were no major conflicts other than when a woman sold me a pineapple for 10 cents more than a Vietnamese would pay. Lam lit into her like the woman had just stolen my life savings. Even the people in the street stopped to listen. I've learned to live with it...in more ways than one.

By the way, I did attempt to escape. I had totally decided that I would leave when Lam was at her parents house. She went and I went to school. I canceled class, came back to the hotel, and started packing. That was as far as I got. I just could not pull the trigger. I could not take my stuff and go, leaving her to return and find that I had gone. I really did try, got half way through the packing and call it cowardice or call it compassion, I don't care. I just could not do it.

]]> http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1258511673/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1258511673/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1258511673/tpod.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 18:51:39 -0500 Viet Nam: Putting Down Roots

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Nha Trang, Vietnam

I could never understand why a woman would stay with a man who was abusive. Now I do. Not that Lam is abusive. But, when I have tried to leave, she does get violent. Making it impossible for me to leave. While there is the sense of violence, I don't feel I'm in danger, but I can't leave either.

So, then why do I, or the battered wife, not leave when the coast is clear? Because after I stop saying I want to leave she is as nice as can be, making me feel guilty if I left. If only she would be violent and then I had my opportunity to leave right when I was feeling like this woman is a mad man. Instead, she settles right down and becomes sweet and good. So I forget quickly what a nut case I am living with. I wonder if this is what happens to women.

It is a very interesting phenomenon because I can feel it happening to me. I clearly do not want to be here, yet I'm not running when I can. I need her to be terrible more often so I will not feel the guilt. I've had several chances where I could pack my bags when she was gone but I didn't do it. Why? It could also be that I have the Stockholm Syndrom, a prisoner who becomes sympathetic to his captor. That is probably more accurate. Either way I'm surprised by this whole predicament.

Another reason I don't leave is that I know she would stalk me. She
knows where I teach and I can see her confronting me after class in
front of my students. Yes, she would stalk me like a wild animal. Hell
hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Now for the bad news. It was difficult enough when we had drama every other day. Now that that only happens once every four or five days Lam has become oh so in love. She can't keep her hands off me or stop telling me how much she loves me or just stare at me. The Vietnamese do two things that we Americans don't do to show affection. Instead of kissing you they plant their noses on your face and give you a big sniff. That was cute at first but I'm freaking sick of it now. The other thing is they grab part of your body, hold it tightly, and shake it vigorously. How irritating is that?

If the drama and danger didn't motivate me to run this certainly will. Battered Wife Syndrome or not! I'm practically going out of my mind and it takes all of what I have learned about accepting what is to maintain my my my my...composure.

One more "Em yeu Anh" (I love you) and I'm going to run out of the hotel screaming with nothing but the clothes on my back!

]]> http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1257493716/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1257493716/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1257493716/tpod.html Sat, 14 Nov 2009 05:35:28 -0500 Viet Nam: Putting Down Roots

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Nha Trang, Vietnam

My first day of teaching had been to fill in for another teacher. When the class was told the next day that I would be teaching another class they all wanted to leave and join whatever class I would be teaching. That was about as encouraging as I could hope for. The director said that they couldn't do that and asked me to stay with that class and "show" the other teacher how to teach. I didn't want to tell him that that was my first day and I really didn't know what the hell I was doing.

I have now been teaching for nearly two weeks. A morning class and an early evening. An hour and a half each. I love it, I love the kids, and I love being useful. This is the first time in my life I'm working at something that I chose to do. Like maybe I can say I'm a teacher now, instead of like, I own a business. A teacher is what I always wanted to be. Now I know why. Anyway, teaching English here is satisfying and I'm doing something meaningful for a bunch of kids. The neat thing is that while I'm teaching them English I also can teach other things to them. This week I taught the morning class Garth Brooks' song The River. Using the words to the song I was able to teach some philosophy, meaning of life stuff, and even meditation. How cool is that? My evening class wanted to learn about business. How cool is that? This is exactly what I want to be doing where I want to be doing it.

Soon after the teaching started I was introduced to a woman who runs an NGO here, the Center for International Cooperation. The University people made the connection because by working with the NGO, they can get me my work permit, then I can teach at the University. As it is, I'm perfectly happy to just keep teaching at Kim's. The woman and husband are fairly wealthy and offered me a "Villa" to live in if I tutored their kids and some other people. That sounded good, until I got to see the Villa. Basically I'd have a bedroom in a very large house that I'd share with a bunch of other teachers. I told them that I like my ocean front hotel room, thank you very much. I did offer to still do the tutoring and they could compensate me in other ways to be determined. That tutoring starts on Sunday.

I totally love living here. Being so close to the ocean all the time is perfect for me. Best is all is late afternoons on the beach. Everyday begins and ends at the beach. Sometimes I feel like a beach bum, but now that I'm teaching I don't feel guilty. I've been here a month and a half. I have a month still to go. Looking forward to coming home and at the same time loving what is. And is for now is Nha Trang, the beach, the kids, the situation, the food, the Vietnamese. Life is good.

Odds and ends:
I really like it when my students call me "teacher."
I am tolerating my live-in situation. Thank God for my breathing exercises and Eckhart Tolle.
Next week, all week, I will be tutoring two students preparing to be interviewed for a Visa.

]]> http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1257164516/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1257164516/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1257164516/tpod.html Thu, 05 Nov 2009 18:56:40 -0500 Viet Nam: Putting Down Roots

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Nha Trang, Vietnam

Two of my best friends from the CELTA class living and teaching in Saigon came to visit me last week along with my best Vietnamese friend Loan. What a treat to have them here for the week. Joe Hudson came up on Monday and stayed till Wednesday. Tim Diesslin and Loan Than came Wednesday and left on Friday. Joe and I mostly spent time at the beach having philosophical disccusions, something I desparately needed. Tim, Loan, Lam, and I motor biked up to the mountains for a waterfall and swimming. To get there we had to drive on Highway One for about 10 miles each way. Highway One is like Route 95, only with two lanes going in two directions.

Shortly after Tim and Loan left a typhoon arrived and sat directly over Nha Trang for two days. Never heard of that. Thankfully it wasn't too powerful, but it did keep us inside and the wind blew rain in through the doors and windows till water flowed into the bathroom drain. The beach is a mess and junk is still coming ashore.

While I'm waiting for my work permit to start teaching at POU I went over to Kim's School For Street Kids and volunteered to teach there. I just couldn't hang around any longer without doing something. My first class started at 5:30 pm, lasted an hour and a half, and I had a blast. I loved it. Luckily it was an advanced conversational class so it was easy. A good start. Then I taught a morning class, similar to the first one. Now I feel like I am living here. It feels wonderful to have something to keep me busy and doing something worthwhile. I love the kids, they are actually not street kids at all but mostly college kids who want more opportunity to study English.

Just so you know, I sincerely tried to leave Lam, but things got crazy and I could not risk bodily harm to myself or to Lam. My only hope now is to sneak away when she is not looking. Something I desperately did not want to do. I can't believe I got myself into this situation. But I take full responsibility. At least now I am away for a good 4 hours a day. That makes it bearable. I have told the hotel people what is going on so when I do run for it they will be prepared!

]]> http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1256795059/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1256795059/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1256795059/tpod.html Sat, 31 Oct 2009 21:49:31 -0400 Viet Nam: Putting Down Roots

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Nha Trang, Vietnam

I received an invitation to the opening ceremony for the Pacific Ocean University here in Nha Trang. One of the Dean's invited Mike Cull and I. Mike's girlfriend teaches there. She had given the Dean my resume and he wanted to meet me and Mike. Classes at POU just started in September. Financial backing came from a large bank in Vietnam because they need educated employees. The English department is critical and getting native speakers essential.

I got to meet the Dean, the President, most of the English faculty, had my picture taken with one class, was included in the official group photo (I'm directly behind the President) of the opening ceremony, went to dinner with officials and faculty, and got introduced as the new (and only) American addition to the faculty. Essentially I have a job there. However, the paperwork is nasty and may take a while. Everyone from the Dean to the faculty to the students were incredibly warm, welcoming, and excited. I can't believe that I may be involved in the very beginnings of this university.

A day later I was notified that I had been approved to teach at POU, and they have contacted the US Consulate to facilitate my paperwork. I have dreamed of being a college professor since I was 20, hard to believe that 37 years later it's coming true.

I got a text message that Mike and I were seen on the evening news...looking quite good at the ceremony. We were photographed extensively. By the way, the students cheered faculty and each other like we were at a baseball game. With this kind of passion the Vietnamese will surely be a country to contend with in the future. They want education more than American kids want their playstations and ipods. I very much want to be a part of their persuit of excellence.

Lam's father is in the hospital and she asked me to come with her to visit. It was an eye opening experience. First, all the doctors have the weekends off. Second, I briefly saw only two nurses during my one hour visit. Third, the Vietnamese families bring their own food to feed the patients. No hospital food that I know of. Fourth, there are no smoking signs all over the place, but as usual the Vietnamese ignore them. Cigarette butts on the floor everywhere. And finally, Lam's father shares his single bed with another man. Never mind private rooms, how about a private bed. I'll try not to get sick while I'm here.

Are you not glad that I'm not writing about my faltering
"relationship?" I survived two tantrums this week and have come to the
firm conclusion that I must end this as soon as possible and cannot
wait till I leave in December. I am plotting my escape.






]]> http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1256017837/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1256017837/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1256017837/tpod.html Sun, 25 Oct 2009 06:47:51 -0400 Viet Nam: Putting Down Roots

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Nha Trang, Vietnam

She was going to throw herself off the 4th floor balcony if I didn't do something. I'm not kidding.

I firmly believe that we reap what we sow. The Karmic Law of the Universe. So, I'm surprised that I find myself in such a situation. Really, I would say I'm about even when it comes to breaking hearts and having mine broken. Apparently I'm either paying for past errors, or I'm banking for the future.

It would be much more fun to be writing about something other than my relationship problems. But I have not heard back about getting a job teaching here and there is no wind so I can't even take any more Kite Surfing lessons. So I am reduced to reporting on my karmic payback.

No more bag packing (she found that doesn't work), but everyday I get into some kind of trouble. It usually has to do with me spending money. Very small amounts of money. Yesterday it came to a head. The cleaning lady was leaving our room and I wanted to tip her. Tipping is slim to none down here so I was going to give her 30,000 dong ($1.67) for the week. Lam insisted that I give her 20,000 dong ($1.11). I slipped her the 30,000 and that's when all hell broke loose.

I was accused of desiring the cleaning lady instead of her. (I hadn't even seen her face, she wears a breathing mask.) Then I made the mistake of telling her we were finished. I wanted her to leave. Believe me when I tell you that I have looked into the eyes of pure hatred and it doesn't look good. First, she was holding a book in her hands and she started to tear it in half, the way you see those karate masters doing it. That's when I stopped packing my bags.

Then she went catatonic and had rapid breathing. Maybe trying to bring on a cardiac arrest. I stared on in disbelief of what was happening. I sincerely thought that if I didn't do something she was going to jump off the balcony. So I said what I had to to keep me out of a Vietnamese jail. That's when she jumped on the bed and had a tantrum just like a kid. The scene was so funny I laughed and she realized how foolish she was being and she laughed too. I was out of trouble for the time being.

A few hours later I got yelled at for spending 30 cents too much on an ice cream cone at the shop near the hotel. I was supposed to walk about a mile away to the market where they are cheaper. Obviously I now know that this will never work. The problem lies in formulating my escape.

I can't just tell her to leave. Another scene like the last one is unacceptable. The only other choice is for me to sneak out. I hate the idea of her coming back to the room and finding all my stuff gone, realizing that I'd left her. And, I've prepaid the hotel room for another 10 days. Something she had me do to save another dollar a day. I feel trapped. I am trapped. And that's why I'm wondering what I've done to get myself into this situation.

For now, my decision is to use this as an extraordinary opportunity to practice awareness in the present moment. Can I be calm and aware while being constantly told I am spending too much or doing something wrong? I guess this might be practice if I ever get married again. I do not want to cause this woman any more pain. I'm going to try to be Eckhart Tolle for at least a couple of more weeks.

I am still happy to be here in Nha Trang despite the living arraignments, so no body feel bad for me. And, when she's not being totally crazy she's actually nice to be around.

Odds and Ends:
I estimate that I get about 100 smiles and good mornings when I go jogging.
The Vietnamese are the most playful people I know.
Why do Vietnamese women always sound like they are mad when they talk to you?
Lam is the first woman I have been with who eats more than I do, no kidding.
I'm eating a lot of rice and losing weight.
Thank God for Skype, I see and talk to family and friends every day...for free!
I ate fried bananas and a hot bowl of tofu with syrup for breakfast today, cost about 50 cents.

]]> http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1255824133/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1255824133/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1255824133/tpod.html Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:35:06 -0400 Viet Nam: Putting Down Roots

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It got a whole lot worse before it got better.

I can explain. Two days later Lam's bags were packed again. This time we agreed to go our separate ways. I had totally come to my wits end. However, Lam insisted that we both leave the hotel together. She didn't want the people here think I was throwing her out. We had spent nearly a day finding this place and I had no intention of leaving. The other problem was that half of my clothes were at her mother's house where she had left them to dry after washing them. I was afraid I'd never see them again.

Then it got worse. She got her period.

I had no choice but to stay and let the dust settle and hope that I could convince her to get my clothes and then I could check out of the hotel. I'd recheck in after she had left.

Once the dust settled a day later I decided to do all I could to make things better. This involved buying sea food at the market and letting her cook for me. So we spent a whole day at her parents house and she couldn't have been happier. She is a really good cook and I actually enjoyed the day there.

I'm not sure why things have been so crazy between us. Is it the language and culture barrier? Or are we just plain incompatible? I'm not sure, but I did leave her parents house with all my clothes.

(Two days later) Things have calmed down considerably since all the craziness. Maybe we are just getting used to being with another person or something, but we have gotten along for three days now with no big fights. That being said, the chances for a long term relationship don't seem all that promising. But, I'm determined to give it a good try.

While all this was happening I met an American here from Rhode Island who teaches and consults at Nha Trang University. His Vietnamese girlfriend teaches at the Pacific Ocean University here. They both have taken my resume to their deans and hope to get me a job teaching at one or both Universities. Besides helping me get connected Mike and Lan are really great people and becoming friends. I may even share an apartment with Mike.

]]> http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1255408653/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1255408653/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1255408653/tpod.html Thu, 15 Oct 2009 18:21:10 -0400 Viet Nam: Putting Down Roots

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I should tell you a little of what happened prior to this trip so you can understand my stupidity and delicate situation.

I met Lam the last week of my stay in Saigon last March while I was getting my certification to teach English as a second language. I was in the park and watching an older Vietnamese man singing folk songs with the people gathered around him. At the end of the song he pointed to me and asked where I was from in English. I answered in Vietnamese that I was from America. He then asked me to sing a song with him. Reluctantly I agreed. He choose the Star Spangled Banner. Great! I gave it my best and got through it. He knew every word of every verse.

When the song was over and the crowd applauded I walked away to a smiling Vietnamese girl. She laughed because I spoke Vietnamese and the Vietnamese guy spoke English. We talked, exchanged emails, and kept seeing each other till I had to leave a week later. Till then I had avoided the women who are mostly looking for a new source of income. I was attracted to Lam because of her playfulness and she had a legitimate job.

I returned home. Lam got hold of a laptop and we Skyped each other all summer. At first I enjoyed our conversations. I got to practice Vietnamese, she got to practice English. I didn't mind that she wanted to Skype me all of her free time, but I had to lie about going to work, I couldn't take more than three hours a day.

Then things began to concern me. Little things like her getting upset because I didn't want to talk to her enough, or when someone else started a Skype chat with me and I tried to carry on two conversations. She threatened to never talk to me again. The week before I left for Vietnam I thought it was all over.

I arrived in Ho Chi Minh City and she was radient. It didn't matter that we couldn't communicate beyond simple statements and requests. It was just great being together again. I got over my jet lag, visited friends, and we took the bus to Nha Trang, her home town and my favorite place to be other than Westerly.

A week after my arrival she was packed and ready to go home. She couldn't stand my wanting to visit Renata (my friend from Germany staying in Nha Trang). I guess that's as good a reason as any to end a relationship. If you are confused about this, join the party. In the end she changed her mind, after she had packed all her things up and had gotten down the hallway. I figured, well, she was just having a bad day. We'll give it another try.

A week later she got mad at me for wanting to spend money on kitesurfing lessons. I said I could afford it. Somehow things got lost in translation and she pointed to the word "contemptuous" in the dictionary. And then packed her bags again. Again got down the hallway and changed her mind. I let her back in. But now I knew I had a problem.

If you are thinking I left some things out, I didn't. It is that simple. So, here I am trying to find something useful to do here. I expect that within the next week she will find another reason to pack her bags and leave. This time I'm locking the door. How do I get myself into these things? When they start I just think, well, this is going to be a new experience. Yes, it certainly is. God, please, the next time I want to get involved with a woman who doesn't speak English, please shoot me first!

Then, again, maybe we just got off on the wrong foot...

Odds and Ends:
1. Pooping just fine now, wouldn't mind toning it down a little.
2. What is the difference between crazy glue and Vietnamese women? Nothing.
3. Ate cassava for the first time. It's the root they make tapioca from. Not bad.
4. Decided not to kill the ants because they don't eat that much. I step over them now.
5. Want to make a Vietnamese woman angry? Do anything. Thinking even works.
6. Driving a scooter here is a nightmare, trying to work strange gears and deal with the crazy traffic patterns (there are none).
7. Speaking of scooters, I drove down a one way street the wrong way today. That brought a lot of laughs from the locals. Lam had to get off the bike and stand in front of me to show me the on coming traffic. I couldn't understand what she was trying to tell me.
8. Took my first Windsurfing lesson. That was a hoot.


]]> http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1255082775/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1255082775/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/francesco0/9/1255082775/tpod.html Sat, 10 Oct 2009 21:24:46 -0400 Viet Nam: Putting Down Roots

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My first day back in Nha Trang I run into a street vendor who remembered me from last year. The first words out of her mouth were: "you're fat now." Then she asked me to buy some cigarettes or candy from her box. Someone needs to teach her how to be a better salesperson.

Let me clarify this weight thing. First of all, I am not fat! I am fat according to Vietnamese standards. Second of all, they are not intending to insult me when they tell me I am fat. They also ask you immediately upon meeting you how old you are. This is necessary because that determines what the pronoun they use to address you. Lastly, and best of all, being told that I am fat is tremendously inspiring. I've taken some before pictures and will post them on this blog before I come home. Then you can be the judge of how fat I am and was.

Just before I left for Nha Trang I got an email from an old friend. My very first traveling adventure was for three weeks in Mexico at a Spanish language school. While there I met Renata from Germany. She was traveling Mexico and the States for a year. She invited me on the weekends to venture out into the real Mexico and stay in hostels. I'd never done that before. We became good friends and later we met up in Louisiana and Rhode Island. She is probably responsible, along with Mark Malek, for my willingness to do all the traveling I've been doing. Anyway, she is here in Nha Trang! Had dinner with her and her partner and Lam last night. What a joy to catch up with each other.

Odds and Ends:
1. Not being able to use reflexive verbs in Vietnamese is getting me into a world of shit.
2. Vietnamese women are like Italian women...only on steroids.
3. Vietnamese women are like Italian mothers...they want to do everything for you except wipe your butt...
4. Who taught vietnamese women to sniff their men as a sign of affection?
5. The fruit is so good I can't bring myself to use the Vita Mixer that I lugged here.
6. The Vietnamese are not fat like us Americans because they are not constantly confronted and tempted by junk food being shoved in their faces.
7. I'd give anything for a good poop.



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