TravelStream™ news feed for member evensong on TravelPod's free travel blogs service http://www.travelpod.com/syndication/rss/evensong en-us Copyright ©2009 TravelPod.com Mon, 01 Dec 2008 00:44:02 -0500 http://www.travelpod.com http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/evensong/1/1228109160/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/evensong/1/1228109160/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/evensong/1/1228109160/tpod.html Mon, 01 Dec 2008 00:44:02 -0500 A Great Wandering: Chris' Trip to India and Nepal

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Agra, Uttar Pradesh, India

No words...
]]> http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/evensong/1/1227603420/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/evensong/1/1227603420/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/evensong/1/1227603420/tpod.html Wed, 26 Nov 2008 00:09:10 -0500 A Great Wandering: Chris' Trip to India and Nepal

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Langtang National Park, Himalayan Region, Nepal

Well everybody, the journey is drawing to a close. I'm going to keep this one short and let the photos speak for themselves. Suffice it to say that on an adventure like this it is inevitable that one learns as much about oneself as about the people and places one has traveled so far to see. It is as if the world holds up a giant mirror for you and for the first time you can see yourself clearly. What did I see when I looked into that mirror? What undeniable truth was revealed to me?

I have bad knees.

Yes, the trek was an experience of a lifetime and as soon as a sufficient amount of time has passed I will remember it with nothing but fondness and nostalgia. But for now, as I spend my second day soaking in a bath of epsom salts, let's just say that I'm glad to be down from the mountain.

Enjoy the photos. It was truly spectacular and I have many stories to tell but for now I just want you all to know how much fun I've had sharing this trip with you. I miss all of you and I can't wait to see you all in the next couple of weeks. Happy Thanksgiving!

P.S. Rob: I shall return! Thanks for saving my seat. You're the best.
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Kathmandu, Nepal

Hey everybody. It's been another crazy week of trains, taxis, buses, rickshaws and third world border crossings. I only left Bodh Gaya last Wednesday but it feels like two weeks on the road.

My train back to Varanasi went off without a hitch but the connecting train to Gorakhpur was almost 4 hours late. That's how it goes here: either your train is exactly on time or you spend some quality time camped out on the cozy and inviting floor of a crowded Indian train station. Delightful.

Met a nice Swiss couple and a friendly Indian guy on the train. Had a good old time sharing fruit and snacks and tales of lusty adventure on the road. Sunil, the young Indian man, was super gracious pointing out some of the sights along the way and giving us an improptu Hindi lesson. All I remember is that "amrud" means mango. It's one of those things that I will probably never forget.

Gorakphur is the last train stop before moving on to Nepal. It's a terrible little town. I stayed in the dirtiest room in the filthiest hotel in all of India. I was planning on spending another day there but woke up at the crack of dawn with the irrisistable desire to get out of there as fast as possible. Hired a driver from there to go to Kushinigar (the place of the Buddha's death) then on to the Nepal border. It was worth the thirty bucks to have someone drive me around for almost nine hours. He did try to rope me into a scam: something about a "high way tax" but we happened to drive by his boss on the way out of town who shouted into the cab "No cheating!".

I didn't hear another word about it after that, although we were stopped by two angry "tax collectors" along the way. I knew enough Hindi to know that they were talking about me and the 300 rupees they weren't going to get.

But the scams weren't over yet. Got worked over pretty good on the exchange rate at the border crossing. Momentary lapse of awareness as I tried to process too much info at once: getting my passport stamped, figuring out where to go next and keeping my eye on the rickshaw driver who was 'keeping an eye" on my backpack. They took me for about thirty dollars before knew what was going on. The Indian officials looking on were either in on the con or really didn't care so I just let it ride. It's okay. That and a few other scams have only totaled about $70 since I got here 6 weeks ago.

Stayed in a great hotel called Hotel Glasgow in the town of Bhairawa. I think I was the only person staying there which was sad for them. Really great and helpful staff. A nice restaurant, too. I took a day trip to Lumbini, the place of the Buddha's birth. It was fun to find the right local bus and make my way there without really knowing where I was going. I will never be able to say I'm lost again. As Buckaroo Banzai said, "Where ever you go, there you are!" Anyway, very peaceful and beautiful place. It was a good way to begin my short stay here in Nepal.

I'm in Kathmandu a little earlier than expected and I'm glad for that. I loved India but it is very intense. Nepal is a lot mellower and even though it is one of the poorest countries in the world it just doesn't seem as tragic as India. Just taking it easy here until I head of on my trek in the Himalayas.

Went to a place called Boudnath yesterday, home of a large population of Tibetans in exile and one of the largest stupas (holy monuments) in the world. Took my chances walking to the famous Kopan Monastery about an hour away. Met up with a young boy, Prabin, who kindly showed me the way. Honestly, I was afraid he was another street urchin looking for money but it turned out he was content just hanging out with a western tourist, practicing his English and showing me around the town and the monastery for about two hours. He was a great tour guide.

Hope you are all well. I'll probably only be sending off one more update at the end of the month so until then: Happy Thanksgiving and I'll see you all soon!!!
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Bodh Gaya, Bihar, India

Hey everybody. In Bodgaya now. This is the place where the Buddha attained enlightnement. Just about every Buddhist tradition has a temple'here.

Met a friend from McLeod Ganj. He worked in Green Hotel and was returningto his home here in Bodgaya just as I was checking out then. I'm so glad I got his phone number. We met for tea yesterday and he took me about thirty minutes out of town to his home. Really out in the country! The kids flocked up to his house to get a look at me. So peaceful, fresh and clean out there. Definitely a side of India I want to see more of.

Sorry. In a rush so I'm off for now. Just want you all to know I am safe and well....
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Varanasi, Uttar Pradesh, India

Well, it's been a crazy week or so. One week traveling in India feels like a month. Took the train down from Pathankot to Delhi which was quite an experience. Got woken up at 4 AM by state police carrying machine guns! Sweet! Fortunately they weren't after me, or at least didn't recognize me.

Had a days layover in Delhi before my next train so I spent the day at the National Museum and India Gate. Funny thing about the museum: Indian citizens pay 10 (20 cents) rupees to get in while us foreigners get to pay 600! No big deal as it was worth it. Didn't include any photos of that here but the statues were fantastic. Will show you when I get back.

Caught the train from Old Delhi station. Definitely not the typical point of exit for Western tourists. I was the only white person in the place. Caught lots and lots of stares. I tried to hand out like I caught a train there every Tuesday but I think it was painfully obvious that I felt out of place. Still, I had some nice conversations with a number of people once we all realized we weren't going to bite on another.

Varanasi was absolutely crazy. I got there the day before North India's biggest festival: Diwali. It's like our Christmas, New Year's, Forth of July, Hanukkah and everything else all rolled into one. The streets were packed with people, fireworks going off constantly. The noise, the chaos, the confusion! Finally got a taste of what everyone was talking about.

I got savagely burned on a auto-rickshaw ride to Sarnath (Zoe, see if you can find it on the map. It's about 10 miles outside of Varanasi.) I am just not cut out for this haggling thing. Oh well. I'm still traveling here for incredibly cheap.

Anyway, Sarnath is a the place where the Buddha first taught the Four Noble Truths. It's a very old site dating back to 260 something B.C. Very impressive. Spent about half a day just wandering around the ruins. Great museum, too.

Went back to Varanasi and got completely lost trying to find my hotel which was right on the Ganges river. Spent about an hour just wandering around trying to head south-east. Turned out I was going north-west for quite some time. Finally caught a glimpse of the sun behind me and using my rusty boy scout skills made it to the bank of the river. I was quite a bit north from my hotel so I hired a boat to take me up river. Got a great guided tour.

Hope you all are doing well and are having a Happy Halloween. I'm sending a separate post with some photos and another map from the town I'm in now: Bodgaya.
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Dharamsala, India

Hey everybody! Just want to send off a quick hello and some photos from
the past two weeks. This is the forth time I've tried to write this
entry. Computer crashes, mysterious interuptions in internet service
and power outages are the norm here. Last night my computer session got
cut short because too many people (I think maybe one) were using
personal heaters at the guesthouse.

Well, tonite is my last night in McLeod Ganj. I am really going to miss
this place. The weather has been fantastic for the past two weeks and
the locals are always telling me how lucky I am to be here for autumn.
Lots of sunshine but not too hot. Cool, almost chilly nights when
the big fuzzy blanket in my room really comes in handy.

BTW
I've been staying in an active Tibetan Buddhist monastery (Zilnon
Kagleying on Bagshu Road. I'm paying $2 a night for a nice basic room.
I figure if you all send me $1 a week I can stay here indefinitely. Let
me know what you all think) for the
past few days. Very cool experience. The first morning I got up with
the monks at 4:30 AM to join them for their prayer service. They all
read different prayers (or sutras) with different intonations and
complex rythms that all came together in a very musical way.



Like I've mentioned before I've been eating very well. Sticking with
the vegetarian plan (Kaley, you would love it here!). Ben, you and I
would have a field day in this town alone. Meals cost around $2-3 with
tip (and I'm a ridiculous tipper by Indian standards. Still, I cringe
when I do the math: leaving Rs. 30-40 is less than a dollar!) So far
Potato Momo soup at a place called Gakyi has been my favoite but some
other Tibetan dishes, like Gyathuk and Thenthuk, have been great too.
Lots of noodles and freash veggies in everything. A hearty take on
typical north asian style food (I'm sure Derrick is rolling his eyes at
that one...).

The intro to Buddhism class at Tushita was awesome. The retreat center is
about a half mile and five hundred feet above the bustling little town
of McLeod Ganj. It was really nice to get away from the honking horns
and
relentless activity of the marketplace. Great teachers ran very
thorough classes on meditation and basic Buddhist philosophy. We were a
very motivated class: almost everyone took notes or kept a journal of
some kind.Lots of reading and introspection. Inspiring and refreshing
to see everyone so into it.


Took a day trip down to Gyuto Monastery to see His Holiness the
Karmapa last week but he had to cancel his public audience at the last
minute. Guess it just wan't in the cards to see him (though I did get
to catch a glimpse of him at the Dalai Lama's teachings).



Spent the rest of the day at the Norbulinka Institute where a new
generration of Tibetan youth are learning the endangered religious art
traditions of there culture. About 450 full time students learn thanka
painting, thanka applique, woodcarving and metal statue sculpting.
Tibetan style architecture set in an enormous Japanese style garden.
Very Beautiful!



Well that's all for now. Don't want to push my luck and risk another
computer mishap. Sorry about the spelling and grammar (Gram, I know
you're reading this). Just some quick props to the folks at Green Hotel
where I spent almost two weeks. Loved my little room and its cold
shower and my giant spider roommate. Thanks for the hearty breakfasts
and the smiles! Thanks Chi, Raejesh and Suvash the "CakeMaster".
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Dharamsala, India

Greetings everybody! Ten days in India and all is going well so far. Had a good bout of culture shock at the end of last week. It all just kind of hit me at once: the incessant honking, the beggars, the dogs fighting in the streets, the dirt and the grime and the nastiness of it all. "Holy Crap!" I thought. "I'm in India and what's more I'm going to be here for two months. What have I done? Arrrgggghhhh!"

I spent a few nervous hours in my moldy little room huddled in the fetal position clicking my heels together to no avail. I was still there when I opened my eyes. Outside there was still the noise and the smells and the poverty and the confusion (and I'm only in McLeod Ganj, what could be called "India Lite"). I got up, splashed some water on my face and decided to head out for dinner. There wouldn't be much to tell if I spent two months in a damp yellow room.

It was the best idea I've ever had. A little restaurant down the street was showing a movie in a cozy little upstairs dining room with cushions on the floor and herb tea, cappuccino and veggie sandwiches on the menu (how very Euro-bourgeoisie and I love it). Had a good laugh with an Israeli traveler about the strangeness of India and where we were each planning on going next. By the end of the night I was feeling much better.

Yeah, I think things are going to be OK. Since that night I've just kind of settled in to the rhythms of this town. I must seem more relaxed and myself now because, as I had hoped, I'm starting to meet people and have some great conversations. It's a wonderful thing to get to know people who were complete strangers just a few moments before. Language is not an issue, most people speak English very well.

For those of you who don't know, McLeod Ganj is the home His Holiness the Dalai Lama and the Tibetan Government in exile. After the Dalai Lama fled Tibet in 1959 the Indian government offered this little hill station as a temporary home for he and his people. This has been a home to thousands of refugees ever since. About three thousand make the dangerous journey over the Himalayas every year. His Holiness has made enormous efforts to turn this into a true refuge for the spiritual and cultural traditions of Tibet. Everywhere are reminders of the tragedy of the Chinese occupation but even more prevalent are the reminders of the tenacity, compassion and capacity for forgiveness of these people.

I had the good fortune to attend four days of lectures by His Holiness last week at the Main Buddhist Temple (Tsug Lakhang). Just amazing. Although security is very present (he is guarded by men with machine guns coming to and from the teachings) we were all able to see him up close. At one point he even made eye contact with me! Another day I was so close to him that I turned to the fellow sitting next to me and we both just laughed. He just radiates so much happiness and compassion that you can't help but smile, laugh and even cry in his presence.

All in all I'm having an amazing time. The weather here is fantastic. Cool nights and days not too much warmer than high 70's. There have been a few torrential rain storms (got caught out in one of them but I had my trusty umbrella and micro-light jacket). I've been spending the past few days just kind of hanging out, spending time at the temple and listening to lamas teach. Pretty darn cool.

Now that I'm an expert on traveling in India I just want to share a couple of insights with anyone who might be thinking about doing something like this. First of all, do your research! Read all you can about where you want to go. Watch any movies you can get your hands on that are even remotely related to the intentions of your trip. Talk to anyone who has ever traveled anywhere and listen well to what advice they have to give (Thank you again Caroline, Matt, Joe and all the rest of you...). Lay awake at night fretting over every little detail: what kind of shoes to bring, should you take those flip-flops or not (you know who you are...), will I really need an MP3 player, etc. Buy gear, try it out and if you don't like it just take it back (I went through five backpacks before settling on the right one).

Do all of this for months and months. Bore your friends and family with incessant talk about your trip. Become obsessed. Believe me, it will all be worth it by the time you get where you're going.

Well that's about it for now. I'm going to be incommunicado for about ten days here. I will be attending a introductory course on Tibetan Buddhism until October 18th. No phones or email or anything like that. Should be wonderful. Here's some more photos. Enjoy!
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Delhi, India

From now on please expect sloppy grammar, poor spelling and a general lack of literary style. I know you were all getting used to my complex, lyrical prose but I'm on the road now. I'll be lucky if I remember how to form complete sentences. Anyway. Here we go...

Got into Delhi on Sunday night without a scratch. The flight wasn't all that bad at just under fourteen hours. The pilot informed us before landing that Delhi was a balmy 86 degrees and typically "hazy". That didn't sound too bad. What he didn't tell us was that "hazy"actually means lung-searing and eye-scorching pollution that makes Los Angeles seem like Rocky Mountain National Park. Seriously, from the time I exited the airport into the New Delhi night it was an assault on my respiratory system.

All the guide books told me to be prepared for smells, smells and more smells. The more I read this the more I began to worry why they weren't being specific. What kind of smells? Curry? Incense? That's what they want you to believe. Diesel fumes, burning trash and wood, sewage, urine, animal dung, and who knows what else is what hit me wave after wave on the cab ride to my hotel. Still, I wasn't (nor am I) complaining. It is what it is.

Speaking of cab rides...I was supposed to get picked up at the airport by a hotel driver. Needless to say I was pretty nervous and excited when I got off the plane. Here I was alone in a city of 14 million people and didn't have a clue which end was up. I didn't see anyone outside the exit holding a sign with my name on it as promised. I spent a few minutes adjusting my backpack and looking around like a bewildered, well tourist, for a few minutes. That was long enough for the travel fairies to tattoo "Sucker" all over my face and body.

A friendly guy came up to me offering his services as a cab driver. I knew what was about to happen, I saw it coming but I did it any way. He lead me away from the airport exit a hundred or so feet away towards a row of cabs in the dark. It was a bit of a scary scene but I didn't feel in any imminent danger (it was my wallet that was screaming "Get OUT!"). Long story short, he offered to have his partner take me where I wanted to go for a mere $52 U.S. Being gifted in the art of haggling I easily talked him down to about $30 ( the going rate for a trip like that is about $7.50). Like I said, I knew I was getting taken (the guide books and advice from those of you who have been there told me so) but there was really no helping it.

Turned out my driver didn't speak any English. Half way though an absolutely insane drive dodging cows, buses, broken down horse drawn contraptions and even little children I tried to make sure he was taking me to the right hotel.

"Excuse me," I asked "We're going to Hare Krishna Guest House, correct."

"Hare Rama Guest House, yes," he said.

"No! Hare Krishna. In Paharganj. New to New Delhi Railway Station!." I was getting panicked.

"Yes," he said.

I tried speaking Hindi to him, asking basically "Where the F is the train station?, but it was useless. I realized I just had to accept my fate. Wherever this guy was taking me was where I was going to go. I just settled in and enjoyed the ride.

About ten minutes later we arrived at Hare Rama Guest house just like his buddy back at the airport had planned (it's probably his cousins place). I put on my best no nonsense attitude and demanded that he take me to Hare Krishna Guest House. He didn't understand at first but I was insistent. Finally he understood.

"Hare Krishna, there."

I turned around and there it was just like the picture on the website. I couldn't believe it. That was a close one.

Well, got to go for now. I know it doesn't sound like it from that story but I am being very careful so don't worry. A few days into it now and I'm starting to get the hang of it. I'm having a great time already and I know it's going to get even better. It's nothing like I imagined. It's a beautiful place but also a very disturbing place. So much poverty and sadness. It's more than overwhelming. I cry a lot about it but I would be worried about myself if I didn't. I'll try and describe it to you all as I get along here but I don't think words or pictures can really convey what's going on here. Up in Dharamsala now. Will write more later.

A few photos and much love for now...
]]> http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/evensong/1/1222391340/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/evensong/1/1222391340/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/evensong/1/1222391340/tpod.html Sat, 27 Sep 2008 07:55:28 -0400 A Great Wandering: Chris' Trip to India and Nepal

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Denver, Colorado, United States

Well the day is finally here! I can hardly believe it myself. As most of you know, I've been planning this trip for eight months and talking about it for what probably seems like longer (some might say "much, much longer"). Thanks, everyone, for listening to me and sharing in my excitement.

If I've sent you this update then you have been a tremendous source of support and inspiration for me. I want you to know how deeply I appreciate all of you. In fact, I would not be going on this adventure if it was not for all of your enthusiasm, all of your advice, all of your generous tips, and all of your encouragement. Thank you for everything.

In less than thirty-six hours I will be stepping off a plane into the unknown. Despite all my planning and research I know for a fact that I don't really have a clue what I'm in for. All I know is that I'm as prepared as I'll ever be and now is the time, as my friend Ben says, "to jump in the deep end".

Right now I am full of excitement, hope and even a little bit of fear. Whatever happens on this journey I must accept. I am leaving my expectations at home. I am prepared to be hot, uncomfortable, itchy, sick and possibly miserable for much of this trip. I don't expect any thing to be easy. The only thing that I am sure of is that this journey is quintessentially right. I can't explain it but I feel its rightness like I feel my own heartbeat. Whatever I must go through, good or bad, I know it will all be worth it in the end.

Before I go I just want to share a few bits of inspiration with you. These are some of the words and ideas that have kept me going as I slowly learned about all the challenges that lay ahead.

Thank you again for all you've done for me. I will see you all in a couple of months. In the mean time enjoy this travel blog. This is as much your trip as it is mine.


"Afoot and light-hearted I take to the open road,
Healthy, free, the world before me,
The long brown path before me leading wherever I choose.

Henceforth I ask not good-fortune, I myself am good-fortune,
Henceforth I whimper no more, postpone no more, need nothing,
Done with indoor complaints, libraries, querulous criticisms,
Strong and content I travel the open road...

...From this hour I ordain myself loos'd of limits and imaginary lines,
Going where I list, my own master total and absolute,
Listening to others, considering well what they say,
Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating,
Gently, but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me."

From Song of the Open Road by Walt Whitman


"I will study and get ready and maybe the chance will come."

Abe Lincoln


"There will be hardships enough to make my hair white, but I shall see places with my own eyes about which I have only heard! I shall be fortunate if I but return alive, I thought, staking my future on that uncertain hope."

Basho


"Unless you leave room for serendipity, how can the divine enter in? The beginning of the adventure of finding yourself is to lose your way."

Joseph Campbell


"Wherever you go, there you are!"

Buckaroo Banzai


"There is no hope for happiness for him who does not travel, Rohita. Thus we have heard. Living in the society of men the best man becomes a sinner...Therefore, wander!

The feet of the wanderer are like the flower, his soul is growing and reaping the fruit; and all his sins are destroyed by his fatigues in wandering. Therefore, wander!

The fortune of him who is sitting, sits; it rises when he rises; it sleeps when he sleeps; it moves when he moves. Therefore, wander!"

From the Aitareya Brahmana
Indra (protector of travelers) urging the life of the road upon a young man named Rohita
]]> http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/evensong/1/1201703160/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/evensong/1/1201703160/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/evensong/1/1201703160/tpod.html Tue, 16 Sep 2008 13:36:38 -0400 A Great Wandering: Chris' Trip to India and Nepal

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Colorado Springs, Colorado, United States

Why India? It's the kind of question that most people ask when you tell them you're planning an unusual trip. Nobody ever asks 'why' if you tell them you're spending a week in Cancun, Trinidad or St. Thomas. Tell your acquaintances you want to spend a week or two in London, Paris, or Barcelona and you'll barely raise an eyebrow.

I work as a bartender in a nice little restaurant in Colorado Springs. A lot of my guests eat several meals a week at my bar and I've become quite good friends with many of them. They are all pretty open-minded and although all of them have traveled for work and pleasure, only a few have been far off the beaten path.

I hadn't seen Fred or Trisha for about six weeks until they came in for dinner just a few nights ago. It was good to see them and we immediately got to filling each other in on news and gossip.

"So, Chris, tell us a story," Trisha asked.

I struggled inwardly for a moment, then deciding I should tell them, leaned in conspiratorially and whispered: "Well, I just bought myself a plane ticket...to India!"

I stood there as if on stage, arms held out in a big 'TA DA!', awaiting my applause. Instead, the silence was deafening. It was as if, on cue, someone had cut the music, turned up the lights and ordered the rest of the patrons in the restaurant to suddenly observe a unanimous and religious silence.

"India?" Trisha said. Her expression of revulsion, as if the word itself was some foul and rancid thing, made me want to offer her a glass of water.

"Well, I just thought, ya know, it would be kinda cool, ya know, to, ya know, maybe go someplace like that...," I stammered. It was all I could get out.

"India?" she said again.

I tried and failed again at some semblance of eloquence. I looked to Fred for support.

"Maybe you should go to Afghanistan or Pakistan," Fred said. "They really love us there."

"India?" Trisha said one last time, her face still curled up in a horrible grimace of puzzlement and disgust.

Over the years that I've been a bartender I have discovered that conversation is an art form. Being able to effortlessly change the subject to avoid the boredom or embarrassment of your guests is just like making a brush stroke on a canvass or choosing the right cadence in a piece of poetry. Fortunately, for the three of us, I have an MFA in Changing the Subject.

I understand why Fred and Trisha may have a hard time understanding my desire to go to such a far away place. For most people, traveling around the world should entail poolside cocktails, afternoon massages and thirty-six holes of under-par golfing. There is nothing wrong with that. I imagine there aren't many people who really want to spend their hard earned time off galavanting around developing countries fending off malaria, typhoid and other charming maladies.

But India? Why India? Actually, I've been asking myself that question a lot lately. My original plan was to spend two months backpacking around Europe visiting various sacred sites like Chartres Cathedral and Assisi. I spent a month or so researching flights, travel gear and possible destinations, but when I got about ten days into my itinerary I realized that I just wasn't feeling it.

Then I read a great little quote in an on-line travel book (www.artoftravel.com). "Assuming you have the money and haven't absolutely committed yourself, the whole world is open to you."

Wow, the whole world! That got me thinking. If this trip is really going to happen, if I'm going to save all this money and commit myself to two months out of the country, then where do I really want to go? And more importantly, will I ever have the opportunity to take on a trip of this size and scope ever again?

For a few days I just let myself quiet down and started to listen to my heart. Where do I really want to go? I kept asking myself that question over and over again. It didn't take long for the answer to arise. In fact, I think I knew the answer all along.

"I want to go to India," said the voice inside my head. It was just as plain and simple and matter of fact as that. My heart overflowed with joy. India! One of the most ancient and spiritual cultures on Earth. The birthplace of Buddhism, Hinduism, Jainism and a host of other strange and beautiful "isms". The land of the Vedas, the Upanishads, the Ganges River and five thousand year-old traditions. A place where ancient myths are still acted out in festivals on street corners in every village and city. A country where many people bow to each other as a conscious act of honoring the divinity within us all. My spiritual imagination, a thing that I thought had died many years ago, was suddenly brought back to vibrant life.

Honestly, I have more fears about this trip than I want to admit. When I went to Prague a few years ago I discovered the true meaning of the term "culture-shock". I can only imagine that India is going to be even more intense and harder to cope with. I'm worried that I'm going to have a panic attack on one of my sixteen hour train journeys. Or maybe I'll start hyperventilating in the crowded market of Puharganj in New Delhi. What if I get sick? What if I loose my passport? What if, what if, what if...?

Then I'm afraid of the questions people are going to ask me. Why are you here? Do you really know what Buddhism is all about? Why couldn't you just meditate at home?

I've got a lot to be scared of but there's something inside me that tells me everything is going to be OK. I get a little scared but then I take a few deep breaths. Then I remember that I am perfectly capable of making this journey. I have enough experience. I have enough desire. I have lots of support from family and friends.

And most importantly, I have a reason.

So why do I want to go to India? From now on I'll be guarding the answer a little more carefully, sharing it only with the people I trust. For most people the answer will be "To do something wholly different," or "Because I've always wanted to learn about Indian culture." But when I'm honest with myself the answer rings clear as a bell. For me this trip is nothing short of a spiritual pilgrimage, a quest to find that old friend, me, who I lost touch with so long ago.
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