TravelStream™ news feed for member atlpilot36 on TravelPod's free travel blogs service http://www.travelpod.com/syndication/rss/atlpilot36 en-us Copyright ©2009 TravelPod.com Wed, 28 Oct 2009 21:17:28 -0400 http://www.travelpod.com http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1256175080/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1256175080/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1256175080/tpod.html Wed, 28 Oct 2009 21:17:28 -0400 Around the World Part II

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Adelaide, South Australia, Australia

What is it that makes Canadian and Australian cities so similar in terms of how they look and the vibe they give off? Trust me, that's a good thing! Even though Adelaide was only home for one night I really enjoyed exploring around the downtown area and getting to know the Victorian architecture and even Chinatown. Combine 70 degrees with a nice breeze and you won't want to be indoors either. My favorite thing about Adelaide wasn't the beaches, the architecture, the great Chinese food or the cool Germans I met. Get ready for this...it was feeling safe while walking around. I know I wrote about this feeling before when I was in Europe and it hit me again right there in Adelaide. Just how liberating it feels walking around a large urban area where slums and bad areas just don't exist is absolutely amazing.

Seriously, experience life overseas for yourself in a first world city where the threat of violence is a foreign concept and your way of thinking will be transformed, too. The realization of the garbage and crap we tolerate in Atlanta just appalls me more and more as I explore the globe. I am actually kind of sad that I had grown so numb and oblivious to the crime at home that I didn't even notice it anymore. If anything this trip has woken me up from that funk and for that this journey is the best thing that could have happened to me lately. I didn't know I needed time away until I was already underway.

But back to Adelaide, when I checked into the hostel, the eccentric owner who is about 75 really helped me out and gave me a private room for the price of regular hostel accomodations. Now that is a score if I ever saw one! How I got this nice little upgrade is unreal...well not so much that unreal if you read my last journal about Tiger Airways. So old Malcolm asked how I got to Addie and I told him that I had survived Tiger. His response was and I am not cleaning this up at all..."F$%king Christ, mate. What the f$%k are you doing flying that rubbish? Tiger is a f$%king joke mate." In Australia the f word is used about as much as an American teenager would say "you know" or "like" so I wonder if it packs the same punch down under as it does for some Americans.

Wandering around Addie helped me uncover one of those local interest stories more bizarre than Malcom so I have to pass it on. Just a few days ago a 60 foot whale had enough of the ocean and beached itself right there in the suburbs. Of course it expired fairly quickly and the city council debated what to do with the remains. One member got the bright idea that 40 tons of whale blubber would make an amazing garden compost, so now the city has been tasked with divvying up the prize.

Suburban Mallala's compost division will be breaking the whale down and the director hopes this isn't a rotten new line of business for them. Yeah...that's exactly what I want in my garden. Tons of stinky rotten whale fat. Nice. The whole city is just in a titter over this and people are excited to try this organic fertilizer. Does PETA not exist down under? Man would they have a field day. I want to revisit Grandma Iola's vegetable garden next year when it is brown and scorched from this putrid rot. No one seems to know if this is going to be an organic suaret or not.

Spending time in Adelaide is such a different world than the remote Northern Territory. Whereas Addie is just a regular laid back beach town, Alice Springs and Darwin are absolute collision courses between European and Aboriginal cultures and believe me there is tension. Aboriginals do not value our style of education because it just might lead some unsuspecting young person down the road to an actual job. Imagine that...working for a living and being duped into doing it because of going to school. But why work when the goverment gives every Aboriginal over $33,000 a year whether man, woman, or child. This money pretty much goes to booze and as a result some of the strictest alcohol rules I have ever seen are in place to combat abuse.

Now everyone knows the Aussies like their beer but in the Northern Territory alcohol can only be purchased between certain hours and the amount is strictly controlled by a database that tracks everyone's purchases. Most everyone I spoke to in the NT feels like they are being unfairly punished for Aboriginal behavior. What a good compromise is then I don't know. But I was told that Alice Springs is not as violent as it was a few years back when it was the knife attack capital of the world with Aboriginals attacking the "White Ants" as they call us.

And yes, you read that right...we are white ants because they see us as a people who are spiritually deprived and not in touch with the spirits. They feel sorry for us and think our lives are horrible...education, living in a house, having a job. I don't know...everyone is entitled to their opinion and I happen to enjoy my modern life. I sure as hell don't want to sit unbathed and half dressed outside all day in ant infested grass getting so drunk I pass out in the road. But to each his own. One man's misery is another's paradise evidently.

Speaking of passing out, the people of Darwin are upset because they just had to spend $1.2 million dollars on street lights for one of their main roads because too many Aboriginals were getting hit by cars. I don't know how to delicately say this but here goes...they would get drunk and decide to sleep the booze off on the pavement. Their skin is the same color as the road and no streetlights warned passing motorists that a person was asleep. The passed out drunk's family would be watching him from somewhere along the road but it is taboo for them to move the drunk out of the way since his spirits were resting. So along comes a car at 80mph and kaboom.

Now if you hit an Aboriginal the advice I was given is to keep going and head straight to the police station. If a motorist stops he or she has a better than good chance of being killed by the family members who had supposedly been watching over the drunk. Nice, huh? There is so much tension up there in the NT and everyone has an opinion. Make your own mind up...I don't know what the right way is there and really wouldn't want to say since I don't live it day in and day out. These people have been living off the land for tens of thousands of years and now Australia wants to impose their ways on them and they want to impose their ways on modern Australians. Of course both worlds collide.

And this morning I collided head on with the Tiger Airways police again...this time it was the food patrol. I successfully beat the system checking in and thought I was home free. I had stuffed my cargo short pockets full of anything and everything that weighed more than an ounce. Then I put on a pair of jeans over that and filled those pockets. I got that carryon down to 7 kgs exactly and made it past the check in scale. As soon as I was 50 feet from the counter of course I emptied all that crap right back into my bag and changed clothes. Trust me, I will find a way to beat the system when it pisses me off!

On the way to the airport I had stopped in a downtown deli and the thrill of finding a sandwich for only $3.90 made me stop to buy one. After a week of superinflated pricing this deli was like a goldmine bonanza, and I came so close to ordering two just because I could afford it. The sandwich lady asked what I wanted on it and in my excitement I told her just pile on everything possible...lettuce, tomato, onions, mayo, peppers, you name it...the works. That little sandwich quickly became $14 (including a buck to toast it) and I actually asked her, "What the hell happened to $3.90?" Turns out in Adelaide each topping costs extra and stupid Americans should just know this little fact. So in addition to my public service announcement about driving in Darwin, I am passing this valuable sandwich info on to you. I told the woman never mind because I wasn't paying that kind of money for something the size of a deck of cards. She asked what she was supposed to do with the sandwich. Not my problem, lady.

Yes, I am going somewhere with this tangent so back to Tiger. Not wanting to get on a two hour flight starving I looked around the airport for something and found another sandwich shop offering overpriced pieces of bread with what looked to be miniscule slices of meat. Now for $15.90 I figured I would be getting about three inches of toppings but in exchange for coughing up a handfull of $2 coins, I received something the size of a Krystal Burger (seriously). After paying another $6 for a water the size of a Coke can I looked at my loot and asked the guy "where is the sandwich meat and toppings." He told me it was Italian style. Ooooooooh. OK. That's what an Italian turkey sandwich looks like. I always wondered. Yes, that information was so worth $21 for the next time I travel to Italy.

When I approached the gate to board the Tiger Airways Food Nazis nailed me. Turns out they don't like anyone to bring their own food and drinks because we are supposed to buy their crappy overpriced ramen noodles. Of course I had to argue with the girl because I was already pissed about my experience yesterday and I told her the food was going with me since I had just paid $22 for it. She told me, "You can't bring it because you are depriving Tiger of revenue and also depriving the cabin crew of their commisions." Now please help me to understand this...if I never ever in my wildest dreams had any intention of buying their crap, how am I depriving anyone of anything? Hmm? Just wondering. And I feel bad for those flight attendants if part of their salary comes from hawking crap off a food service trolley. No, I take that back...they should take the Aboriginal approach and just not work there or anywhere. Problem solved.

I told this girl that if I had wanted to buy the on board food I certainly would have and obviously I had no intention of it. She told me "the authorities" would come and confiscate the sandwich if I brought it on board. Would someone please introduce me to these mythical authorities they keep mentioning? Who are they? I ended up having to eat my sandwich quickly before boarding and I figured it was $6 a bite. All that for a slice of processed turkey on stale bread. Un friggin believable!!!

As soon as I got to Sydney I unfolded myself out of my chair and paid $5 to transfer from the domestic to international terminal. Yes, they really do charge money to go between terminals. It would be like having to pay $5 to take the train from concourse to concourse in ATL and I listened to my fellow Aussie travelers bitching up a storm about it, too. I love Australia to death but they nickel and dime everyone to death over everything. No wonder they like coming to the US for holiday. A United flight was leaving for San Francisco shortly and I was lucky enough to be able to jumpseat back to the good ole US of A on it.

Can I just tell you how awesome it was to have a lie-flat sleeper seat and good food served on china in business class after squishing into a Tiger seat? The service I got on board United was awesome so kudos to them for giving me one of the best flights I have had in a long time. And yes, Delta, your flight from ATL to Prague was equally as good back in August!!!

Tomorrow I am moving on to Central America or somewhere like that for the next week. I am not sure what the destination is right now but I will know it when it hits me. I like it this way...just wandering aimlessly around the globe. So yeah...just catch me later and I will hopefully have something interesting to report about from wherever I end up. And yes, it probably will be somewhere third world where the most interesting things seem to just find me.


]]> http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1253225943/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1253225943/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1253225943/tpod.html Mon, 26 Oct 2009 22:25:40 -0400 Around the World Part II

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Belfast, Northern Ireland, United Kingdom

This is for anyone who has traveled and had their flight just unravel. Tonight was just one of those days where stuff just happens and you just have to laugh about it. The whole experience amused me so if you fly, you can relate. And I know first hand now why half of our customers are so spun up when they arrive on board.

I cheated on Ryanair and karma got me good for flying on BMI Baby instead from Cardiff to Belfast. Yes, there really is an airline called BMI Baby, and it's the low fare subsidiary of BMI which evidently is much maligned in the press here. The plane even has a cartoon baby on the tail and I paid about ten bucks for the pleasure.

Sometime this morning my friend discovered that it's a 30 pound fee if we checked in at the airport so of course we tried to do it online. Neither of us had confirmation numbers and the website had no way to let us retrieve them. Of course they make it difficult if the number isn't written down when originally booked and that was my fault for losing my piece of paper. And to make matters worse,BMI Baby doesn't send a confirmation email with the info either. Even Ryanair does that and they let anyone retrieve the booking number through a variety of ways online. Basically we were screwed and decided we'd have to call the airline at a cost of one dollar a minute. One big problem...we don't have phones here that work and that price is a rip off.

After sweet talking a girl with our charming American accents into letting us use her cellphone, we gave her a few pounds for her trouble. Finally with confirmation numbers from the airline, we checked in online and thought we were homefree. Fast forward a few hours after we breezed through security and we were just sittling idly around the departure hall. The monitor with all the departures started blinking delayed for ours and Cardiff Airport uses contractors who are really no help at all for all airline staffing. We were told we'd need to exit security to find someone at the counter for further details. Of course the counter staff are all contractors as well who really don't give a flip if travelers depart successfully or not.

Our boarding passes were already scanned at security so that meant we'd need new ones for the pleasure of another body search and I was assured there would be no 30 pound charge for it. The unhelpful customer no service b word told me to pay for passage back through security. I held my ground, said no and won battle number one with her. She then made us put our bags in the size checking unit and I asked her why since we'd already been through security with no problems. I finally got the bag to fit after smashing it into avoid paying to check it in. Bye Bye cookies and snacks in the side pocket.

Now of course she made us weigh our bags and mine came in at 12kg, or 2 kg over the limit. Now how can that be when it's been 8.9 to 9.1 kg on Ryanair? I challenged the veracity of the scale, and she said it would be 30 pounds to check the bag in since it was too heavy for the cabin. Since my friend's was 7kg I told him I'd just use 3kg of jhis allowance kind of like a carbon credit scheme being proposed back home. Customer no service b word told me that was not allowed and that the bag would be reweighed at the gate and she would know if I had switched items. Even pointing out that the weight was going inside the plane one way or the other made no logical sense to her and she was just hungry to collect cash.

Funny thing is while my bag was on the scale I took out a pair of jeans and jacket and the weight INCREASED half a kilo. I took out some tee shirts and the weight went up again. I told her this was b.s. and yes actually used that word. My nerves were shot by this time with her but not once did I raise my voice. She called the supervisor and said I was being belligerant and profane and I asked the supervisor to prove I had been anything other than a gentlemen. He told me the scale doesn't lie and BMI Baby's policy is what it is. Whatever!!!!

Needless to say I reminded counter b word that we were entitled to compensation for the delay per the European Union regulations and she asked how I would even know that. Well, for starters a sign outlining the rules was four feet to her right and I pointed to it. She told me, "That's just for Europe." I reminded her to check an atlas where the UK is and she tossed two 3 pound meal vouchers at us.

So I had my tasty birthday dinner at the Burger King at Cardiff Airport and the double cheeseburger value meal was the only thing for under 3 pounds. The Black Angus burger looked so tantalizing and mouth watering in the pictorial ad but I didn't want to shell out two additional pounds of my own cash for it. Maybe in a few years I can splurge for that on my 40th birthday. Something to look forward to! Had we gotten to Belfast on time we would have celebrated somewhere awesome. That's ok...I will always remember my birthday burger with a smile and some greasy BK at an airport is more memorable. Sometimes things just don't go as planned when traveling and you just roll with it. Mybe

But back to the ticket counter issues. To get the weight down on my bag, I just started putting on clothes right then and there. My stuff was going without having to pay the fee. When I was done I had put on a pair of jeans over my jeans and put on four tee shirts. I gave my book and camera to my buddy and dared her to prove they weren't his. If she wanted to play games, I was ready to go head on and win. So through security I went looking like the Michelin Tire Man and the security agent just said, "Flying BMI Baby are we? This is quite common." I put the extra clothes in my buddy's bag after security and waited out the delay.

Finally after three hours of watching flights leave on time ours was called but bend over here it comes again. When it came time to finally board the agents were strictly enforcing the one bag per person rule and she told me I wasn't boarding with my small backpack and regular bag. I told her I was and she said I wasn't. She had my passport and boarding card and said they were the property of BMI Baby until either paid 30 pounds to check a bag or consolidated to one. My buddy told her if she didn't give back the passport we would call the police since it was not her property. She waived the passport at me and told me she didn't care who issued it, it was hers until I complied with her regulations.

One quick motioning to a police officer standing nearby by my buddy was enough for her to give my passport back but she still had the boarding card. I really felt like I was on Concourse D in Atlanta and I TRULY feel for our own customers. I was tired of BMI Baby and being treated like one, so I just shoved my backpack into my other bag until i got on the plane which was a 1980s 737-300 with the original faded cloth seats. When I say faded, I mean they were tatty and worn. Ryanair at least gives you a brand new plane with rich Corinthian pleather seats! But seriously, I REALLY, REALLY enjoyed flying on a retro jet. It made my night. I know I am weird like that but I love aviation and how often do you get original vintage cabins?

So yeah, we got to Belfast late and walked 20 minutes through the city to the hostel at 11 at night. And you know what...it was completely safe with people out and about. Tomorrow we are waking up early and I will let you know what I find. We are taking a tour of The Troubles offered by the hostel so that will be great.

Where else can ten bucks buy memories that we are already laughing about?
]]> http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1256400594/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1256400594/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1256400594/tpod.html Sat, 24 Oct 2009 22:26:41 -0400 Around the World Part II

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Guatemala City, Western Highlands, Guatemala

Last night the weather started getting bad so we decided to bag three days of hiking and head back to the US. This trip has been nothing but good and I didn't want to end things on a bad note by spending three days in the cold rain. Nights up there in the highlands are cold enough for multiple blankets and something more than a windbreaker. As much as we would have liked to have done the hike, I know I can always return in the future so no worries there. The mountains and Lake Atitlan aren't going anywhere.

We decided about 8pm last night to head back to Guatemala City for our flight and found a regular bus that left at 4am for the capital. Guatemala City is not the safest place on earth and neither is a chicken bus making endless stops in the middle of the night so paying just a few extra dollars got us a nonstop ride on an old Mercedes bus that probably was retired in Germany back in the late 80s. The big Mercedes bus also cuts the trip time down to three and half hours from five and every minute counts when trying not to miss a flight.

And I have a first to report...a taxi experience that was just fine. We left the hostel at 3:15am to get to the bus office by 3:30 and even at that hour the driver did not try to rip us off. The bus companies in Guatemala usually just use their own office rather than a common terminal, and we got there before things there were open. The driver told us in Spanish that he would wait with us because the area at night is really dangerous. He didn't mind letting us sit in the taxi for fifteen minutes and it was awesome that he was looking out for a couple of foreigners' safety. Tips aren't expected down here but I made sure he got a few extra Quetzales for keeping us from getting robbed at that ungodly hour.

But would you believe that by taking the regular bus over the especial de chicken we "lost" travel cred to some backpackers at the hostel? To that I say they can kiss my big gringo butt!! These four people who had been listening in told us we were "imposters" since we wouldn't risk a chicken bus at that hour. Let's see here...these are the same four people who were bragging that collectively in one week they have been robbed twice, been pickpocketed, had a passport stolen, and because of that, they have gained street cred in Guatemala. I've been here many different times without the carnage so I wonder who is smarter on the streets?

Maybe instead of worrying about who has travel and street cred or not, they should gain some hygenic cred. I've run into these types all across the globe. They look like they haven't had a haircut or shave in 3 years or a shower in about as long. These freaks think they have all the answers to travel because they have slept outdoors after losing all their money, been robbed, gotten violently ill from street food, been harrassed in customs because they look drugged out, etc.

To each his own and they aren't bothering me any. I am glad they, too are having a good time. We all look for different things when traveling and I guess I am just boring since I have made it around the world without getting shot, mugged, knifed, robbed, harrassed, pillaged, attacked, beaten up, sick, or whatever else people worry about while abroad. All it takes is some common sense and an open set of eyes and ears and lots of questions to the locals.

I particularly enjoyed listening to how this one dude had his backpack stolen off a chicken bus because he fell asleep and had left it in the aisle. He was actually proud of this idiocy and was bragging about how he now had a great story to tell. Even after many trips on a chicken bus, I still have all my belongings because I pay attention. I hope since I didn't have anything that "exciting" to report, all this writing hasn't bored you too much back home. If you made it this far, thanks for traveling along with me. Maybe one of my stops made you stop to investigate it a little further for your own visit. Some of the most interesting places were the ones I accidentally stumbled upon like the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus. It wasn't exactly tourist fare but definitely was something interesting and different that I won't forget.

I always get asked what my favorites were so here goes for this trip:

Favorite Country - Bosnia and Herzegovina because of the history there and how the place is being rebuilt after genocide and war. And the countryside is beautiful. I saw rivers as clear as the Caribbean.

Favorite City - Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herz. since the people there were the friendliest and most helpful I have ever met even after having their city shelled for three years and being cut off from the world, food, electricity, etc. at the same time. The blend of Europe and Turkey all at once was neat to see.

Favorite Food - Laksa soup. Seafood, noodles, spices, and a squeeze of lime blended all together in a way that makes you want to lick the bowl clean. I hope a reasonable take on it is sold somewhere in Atlanta and I am learning how to make it authentically. If not I will have to make a food vacation back to SE Asia to get some. It's that good.

Favorite Airline - Air Asia. Always on time with the friendliest ground and flight people out there. Its amazing what constant smiles from the staff do for the mood of the flight. And the Asian food for purchase really is good and inexpensive. Kinda cool to eat spicy chicken and fried rice at 30,000 feet. The planes are kept clean, too which is a nice treat from the filth we ride in back home.

Best Experience - Hiking around the Outback because of the scenery, isolation, wildlife and views. Where else would a wallabee flip you off? Climbing up the Rock of Gibralter is a close second.

Favorite Part of Trip - Meeting dozens of interesting people from around the world, especially at the hostels. So many people are taking up to a year off and just going around the world and their experiences make my trip look like some pre-K version. The parts of the trip when I was alone, I always had people to do things with. In reality, I was not alone at all the whole time.

Another thing I get asked is how I planned all this. Other than booking my Ryanair, Air Arabia, Air Asia, etc. flights well in advance, I really did no research. Ultra cheap sale fares chose where I went rather than the other way around. Some of these places like Bristol and Sri Lanka were never on my radar but I ended up in them and enjoyed looking around. I also left plenty of time to wander around like in the Balkans or Borneo and just knew I had certain target dates to be at an airport. As far as the destinations themselves, I basically showed up and went from there. I figured out where I was staying that day or maybe the night before. Spontaneous travel has been a lot of fun since August and kept me on my toes.

I am on my notebook at the Guatemala City Airport writing this while drinking a hot chocolate. They cleared standbys and I got seat 4A. As much as I love the crowds and grit on board a chicken bus, traveling home in business class comfort is how I like to do it. The Macarena is playing in the background and three American girls are actually doing the dance. Yes, it's really time to head home now. But like I said before, I am leaving on a high note with only good memories of this trip. Well, its all been good minus the sight of three plump Americans doing the Macarena!!! What a last memory to have. Hope you enjoyed all this as well. Now go see some of the world for yourself!!!





]]> http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1256266240/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1256266240/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1256266240/tpod.html Fri, 23 Oct 2009 21:41:01 -0400 Around the World Part II

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Quetzaltenango, Guatemala

My first site while rolling into Xela was two women with baskets on top of their heads. Now that is a normal site all throughout this region but theirs were special. Both were packed full of chickens and roosters going to the market to meet their demise. It's amazing that something bobbing on top of a traditionally dressed woman's head will be McChicken in a few hours.

The weather up here is awesome for lounging but I am not so sure for hiking and camping. We are so high up that it has maybe gotten to 50 so far with clouds and fog. The rain isnt too far behind either I am afraid. We are thinking if we really want to survive three days in the wilderness like that. If this were the beginning of the trip, yeah, I'd be all about an adventure. We'll just play it by ear in the morning. As I write this there is lightning off in the distance so who knows what's on the way.

Xela is Guatemala's second largest city and is in the bottom part that is hilly with no fewer than 33 volcanos around, and I am waiting for one of those babies to blow. Either that or an earthquake. When I was in Tikal back in August that was the flat lowland part of Guatemala that is a mosquito infested sauna. This part of the country agrees with me nicely with the cool air. I know its hard to associate Central America with New England temperatures but yes, they do exist.

The women here in the highlands are more likely to wear their traditional clothes, too. Ladinos are those who have adopted more Western style dress and customs and these are usually more educated and middle to upper class people. The Amerindians dress according to their village so people know where they come from and their outfits are colorful woven textiles. They wear dresses, vest like shirts, hats, etc.and each piece is a loud rainbow.

I learned something interesting today, too. About 80% of Guatemalans are Roman Catholic but they infuse their traditional Mayan roots into the church. The cross represents four winds from heaven and Jesus and Mary are the Sun God and the Moon Goddess. In one village called Quiche, the people believe that the first four humans came from corn paste. Yeah, corn paste. Is Orville Redenbacker Mayan? Also, Amerindians believe that everyone has an animal counterpart and this nagual shares the same destiny. It's interesting how both cultures have blended together.

As much as I came to experience the culture I am really only getting to see it from afar. I have spoken almost only German since getting here and haven't really immersed myself into anything local besides the salsa verde. I even ate some fries at Micky D's this afternoon because they smelled so good from the sidewalk. At least I am here though and Xela is like nowhere else I have ever seen. And of course Antigua is always awesome. If you end up in Guatemala for whatever reason, pass through Antigua...it's worth it!

Buying pastries here was a very disappointing experience this evening. Sure they were delicious but the woman didn't have a cash register in her bra like in Antigua. I handed her a 100 Q note for a 10Q purchase and she didn't even bat an eye (or shake a boob). So I missed out on some local flavor here in town. Now what kind of store is this when all the money is kept in an unsafe cash register?

I'll know by morning if we are off on a three day adventure hike or finding alternate plans.

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Kuching, Sarawak, Malaysia

After today I think I have officially hopped a ride on every crappy third world city bus ever built. Today's hooptie was some Chinese built piece of yellow colored junk. The exhaust leaking up through the floorboards added such a nice touch...Much much cheaper and so much more aromatic than buying those scented rearview mirror pinecone things. We met up with our Singapore ladies to head to Bako National Park on a do it yourself mission to save $100 a person, and I can report it's mission accomplished via Borneo buses. Why take an overpriced tour on their schedule and agenda when pure adventure and awesome local flavors await at $10 a person total?

This city bus runs once an hour on the thirty minute trip to the boat docks serving the Bako National Park. Of course the tour operators will tell everyone it is all but impossible to reach the park independently, and of course we all know if you ask the right questions, the right doors open such as finding out about this bus. When I was told I couldn't do the trip on my own, I called B.S. on that one and made it my mission to find a way.

So once at the docks we hired a small boat just like the water taxi to take us over to the park and the guy told us he would be back to pick us up at whatever time we wanted. I gave my buddy lessons on how to properly enter and exit a small narrow water vessel due to our incidents the other day. With his center of gravity safely settled within the boat, we set out at 7:30am. An early start was the smartest choice we could have made all day besides arranging this visit ourselves. Remember, this country is a tropical steambath and not the most pleasant place to be outdoors during the heat of the day. And add to that the daily 4pm torrential rains which are incentive enough to be done early on.

The selection of possible trails was actually pretty amazing and we settled on one that would take five hours roundtrip. I asked the Singapore ladies three times if they really could handle this and they assured me they walk a lot back home. I thought to myself, ok, I'll go along with this. Two of our Singaporean friends crapped out on the slippery climb upwards within the first ten minutes and returned back for an easier flatter walk. Yes, it was steep but definitely not impossible. I'd give it maybe a 4 out of 10 for hardness.

Picture having an entire jungle to yourself...Nothing but you and the sounds of insects, birds and animals in the distance. I got a little insight into Singaporean life as well by listening to the comments our remaining friend made. Hearing birds and insects was just something she wasn't used to and she admitted the sounds were overwhelming and sometimes scary. Indeed, Singapore is a jungle but one of the urban highrise sort. Trading her concrete jungle for an authentic one just blew her away.

Starting out so early mercifully spared us the full on microwave treatment, and I just wondered to myself how many out of shape people would pass out during the day because they had started hours after us at high noon. I also did the math on my watch...they should have gotten wet sometime on the way back but after enjoying the full tanning bed/sauna combo beforehand. Parts of the trails were steep and slippery enough as is when it's not raining. I can't imagine trying to come down a mountain when it's wet, especially when grabbing onto something without looking first can mean a handful of fire ants.

The tip of this peninsula has been home to Bako National Park since 1957 and one of its claims to fame is having every type of vegetation known on Borneo. The pitcher plant growing at higher altitudes interested me...it looks just as its name implies and flies go inside it for whatever reason their simple minds find the plant interesting. Once inside they can't escape anything but the plant eating them alive. How can anyone not like a meat eating plant growing deep in some Malaysian rain forest?

275 Proboscis monkeys call the park home as well, and we were lucky enough to see several near the beaches. How they know it's 275 I am not sure since the monkeys stay high in the trees and are actually pretty shy. But not too shy...stand directly below and they will happily provide some cooling relief from the sun via a piss shower. Now I hate to bash on a creature Mother Nature so lovingly created but damn that is one butt ugly monkey with that giant beak.

We also gave a wide berth to some Borneo Bearded Pigs that crossed our path. They are the largest mammal on Borneo and being wild boars not the friendliest hosts to jungle visitors...to put it in perspective they are about as big as a fat German Shepherd.

Thousands of ants would appear from time to time in the most random places and I just don't know how they stay in such perfect lines behind each other. Humans haven't even mastered the ability to queue up like this anywhere I have been. Actually I take that back...in the UK they observe this art form religiously but I digress...

So you are telling yourself...yeah, yeah...jungles and wild pigs and a monkey is a monkey. Right? I can see all this crap in some worn out National Geographic at my dentist's office...etc... etc... So really...What makes seeing this part of Borneo so unique that it's worth risking carbon monoxide poisoning on a bus, fighting bugs and dropping a gallon of sweat in the process? I'd have to say it's the landscape and the pure beauty of unspoiled rainforest. This part of Borneo was covered by ocean 75 million years ago and sediments from the mountains were carried out to the sea over millions of years. Over time this sediment cemented together to form the sandstone cliffs now exposed after the waters retreated. Pictures can't even capture what all this looks and sounds like in person.



]]> http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1256000444/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1256000444/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1256000444/tpod.html Fri, 23 Oct 2009 12:44:39 -0400 Around the World Part II

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Adelaide, South Australia, Australia

Alice Springs has been one of those little surprises that is unexpected and awesome. That tiny little city is really comfortable, it's not yet 126 degrees, and the scenery and buildings actually remind me a lot of when I lived in Tucson. This morning started out in the 30s and I took a long walk to enjoy the cool air before things quickly warmed up into the low 90s. But even 90 with no humidity is pleasant enough.

About all I did today was get my hair cut, go to the grocery store, walk around and chill out. I wish I had some awesome mishap to tell you about but Australia is pretty much too tame for that compared to Sri Lanka or Bosnia. I didn't fall off a water taxi, almost get eaten by a 200 pound lizard or try to figure out where I was going in Cyrillic. Australia just isn't the kind of place to shock my senses and I will be honest, I am not used to traveling this long in an English speaking first world place.

So this last minute detour into Australia has definitely been a different type of experience for me and I am ready for this detour to take me back to something a little more real and gritty again. The food and water here aren't sketchy. People aren't harrassing me for money or to get into their rip off taxis. In fact I am about to start harrassing them for money since this place has made me about broke. I'm not having to communicate with my hands and stick drawings either. For sure this is relaxing and easy but on the other hand, we really do have nicer and prettier and more of it in the US and it's a lot closer and cheaper to see back home.

But the scenery and people have all been amazing, and Australia is one of those places that I will return to over and over and over again until I have seen it all. Then once I have seen it all I will start over again. There's just something about this place that is unique and draws me in, challenging or not.

To round out my last bit of time abroad I am going to head to Central America to once again veer off the beaten path where I am most comfortable and belong. This three day hike in Quetzaltanango, Guatemala through the mountains to a lake with an organization that uses the donations for the trips to help street children there is something I am interested in. Then if I am not out of time or money I'd like to visit some remote islands in El Salvador that lie in the Gulf of Fonseca. There's so much out there to see and I can't make up my mind. It's great to be in that position and great to work for an airline with some flight benefits.

I guess I can't say the day was totally uneventful though...The rest of this is for all my airline friends and for anyone else who has had a bad flight that left you wondering what the f&$k just happened this afternoon...

So by now if you've made it this far through all my travel drivel, you know that I poked fun at Ryanair what seems like years ago in Europe but probably figured out I really do like their product. Ryanair delivers EXACTLY what it says it will and if the rules are followed with the right ticket, anyone can travel for under ten Euros. Always keen for a bargain, I booked a relatively last minute $39 Tiger Airways flight from Alice Springs to Adelaide and was expecting something a little nicer based on how they market their services and for this "exorbitant" price! Well, compared to Ryanair and Air Asia anyway. For the price of two meals at McDonald's in Darwin, I was on my way.

What had been a great morning began to spiral downhill at check in and just kept unraveling from there. Had I not been hungry and tired, this all would have been entertaining but you know how life can be. Sometimes you just aren't in the mood for a spectacle and you just want to chill without being hasseled. In plain English, I just wanted to check in, get on the plane, sit down, be left alone for two hours and then get on with my evening.

The counter opens 2 hours prior to the flight and closes 45 minutes prior. Big signs all over remind us that we must be checked in per the rules and at the gate on time. Do the math...that gives the agents 75 minutes to check in about 160 people. So naturally what is good for the goose is not good for the gander and these highly trained check in technicians decided to show up 15 minutes late so that decreased the window. Indeed, several Australians had warned me that Tiger will just close the counter even if people are in line. If Tiger is all about making me follow the rules and threatening to deny me transportation if I don't reach the counter in time, I think the least their staff can do is show up on time. I don't know...maybe I am being unrealistic there.

So with that in mind, two really nice people I met at the hostel (from Atlanta of all places!!!) and I got into this line that snaked around the terminal. It's funny how I have seen maybe 4 Americans since Prague and I meet two from home smack dab in the middle of the Outback. So cool and unexpected and they were awesome. We inched our way up to the check in once the agents decided that yeah, people really do want to travel today. The two agents were actually weighing carryons to make sure everything was under 7 kgs (about 16 pounds) and I saw many stressed out people while waiting my turn at bat. Even Ryanair allows ten kilos but never polices it.

My bag came in at an absolutely obese 7.3 kgs and that was after I had hidden my contraband backpack from the lady's view (only one bag is allowed). She told me that bag was not going anywhere until it was under 7 kgs or I could check it in for $25. So with about 100 people behind me in line, I decided that if she wanted to play over less than a pound, I was totally game for that. I told her, "I'd like to see your contract of carriage to see what items are allowed beyond just a carryon in the cabin." So I slowly opened my bag and gave it a quick diet. Out came a "reasonable amount of reading material," "necessary medical items" (contact lense solution), and a long sleeve shirt in case it was cold, etc. I stuffed some small tschochkies I had bought into my pockets as well to lighten the load. I hate that my bag has been suffering all this time with that extra .3 kilos. Sorry bag.

By now the agent's blood was boiling over so being the compassionate person I am, I turned down the heat a little to speed the process back up. I reminded her indeed it was she who wanted to play hardball and I just wanted hassle free air transport from point A to point B. No fewer than ten Australians had warned me that Tiger is actual crap when if the plane does depart and I figured they were exaggerating.

As a side note, Aussie domestic travel is an absolute dream since any amount of liquids can go through the checkpoint. Tickets and IDs aren't checked there either and it's about as hassle free as it can get. Airports have separate domestic and international terminals to aid this convenience and of course Alice Springs is 100% domestic. I sailed with shoes on right through the metal detector with a 1.5 liter bottle of water right there in my hands. Can you imagine the tailspin someone from our ever so friendly TSA would go into if someone showed up with that amount of liquids and didn't take off their shoes? My God, airports from coast to coast would be evacuated, fighter jets would be circling overhead and the media vultures would cover it for days. Never would I have ever dreamed that the security check point would be the most pleasant 30 seconds of my journey!

When the plane was finally ready to board, I snapped a quick pic of the Airbus A320 while approaching it. Another agent told me to put the camera away or she was calling the police to "serve me a significant fine." She then demanded my seat number so I asked her why. Get this...the feeble explanation was cameras could cause the jet exhaust to explode. OK, that's a new one for me and I fly the damn things. So it's ok to take a picture 5 feet away behind the fence but not where I was standing now? And anyway, the engines weren't even running to produce this supposedly flammable exhaust (it's not). And I really do dare anyone to stand behind a jet engine that is revved up doing its thing. That camera will become a million piece jigsaw puzzle 500 feet downwind.

As I was wedging myself into what looked like a row of airline seats (not sure since it was so close to the one in front), I had to laugh at the flight attendant's nonstop announcements. She kept referring to passengers seated in the "main cabin" over and over. Try as I might I couldn't find any other cabin on board to differentiate between the main one and maybe some hidden platinum plus paradise. The guy next to me got on his cellphone to tell someone that this flight was a joke already, and another flight attendant came by to demand he turn it off immediately before she "summoned the police force for a substantial fine." Evidently, cell phones and cameras on board an aircraft can cause it to explode as well. Hurry, someone please tell Delta and all the others that their aircraft are only one x-rated rap ring tone away from becoming aluminum pipe bombs! What a friggin joke.

As far as the legroom goes, let's make this interactive so we have something tangible to compare it to. Take your hand and turn it palm facing the floor. Do you see the tip of your middle finger? The one I wanted to extend upwards at Tiger? Well pretend that is touching the seatback in front of you. The area where your wristbone is would be resting on the front edge of the cushion upon which your 6'0" butt is trying to sit. Naturally, I couldn't sit with my knees straight in front of me so I had both about 4" into the aisle.

The black jeans and yellow shirt clad cellphone police came by and told me if I didn't sit properly in my chair I would "be removed at once from the flight." In order to fit my knees in the allocated space I had to raise my butt 5" off the chair while pressing my back into the seat to maintain my balance. Yes, it is hard to hover in a space the size of a hand, and this burn must be what using Suzanne Somer's Thighmaster machine feels like. After doing this for just ten seconds I must say you ladies out their should have quads of steel from years of hovering in the lady's room. And that's without the benefit of a backrest for support! Believe me, I have a new respect for you. My "antics" didn't please this girl either, and I told her to "Just do what you have to do. This airline is a joke." Four blokes behind me yelled out, "Here, here mate" since she was onto them as well for this and that.

I was beginning to see why everyone had been wishing me luck rather than bon voyage, and I began thinking about value for money. The $30 extra dollars for some Qantas comfort seemed a bargain I would gladly pay had I known I would be receiving this customer no service and needing to fold myself into some painful yoga position just to sit properly. I listened to the flight attendant talk about the "main cabin" a few more times and we were finally on our way. Somehow I didn't even notice the safety demo going on until I heard "Tiger Airways is pleased to offer special amenities unique to Tiger such as reading lights, air vents, a flight attendant call button and we are also pleased to offer three toilets." I didn't know that a reading light was something other than standard equipment on board an aircraft and that toilets are something to brag about. Silly me.

After 110 long long minutes, there was another special announcement on approach into Adelaide advising all of us in the "main cabin" that we needed to rearrange the items in the seatback pocket so that the safety card was first, snacks for sale menu second and barf bag third. Like hell I am doing their job for them and one of the ladies actually came through policing whether or not we had done this. What? Is that going to cause the plane to blow up as well since everything else seems to?

Now what do you think people including myself did? I purposely messed up the order of my stuff and she told me to fix it. I told her she would have ample time to do her duties once we deplaned and I am not on Tiger's payroll. She asked me what my name was so she could have me offloaded in Adelaide. I told her Adelaide was mine and everyone's final destination and I would be happy to offload myself. I also asked her that if the people in the main cabin have to clean up, what were the people in the other cabin doing? It was totally lost on her. She had problems with about two dozen passengers around me as well so it wasn't just me "making troubles" as she put it. Actually I heard arguing throughout the cabin and my two Atlanta buddies told me all hell broke loose in the back end of the "main cabin" before the flight as well. Yeah, I was a total ass this flight but I just mirror how people treat me.

And speaking of these seatback pocket items, I carefully rearranged mine in my own proper order. I really liked the barf bag so I made sure it was front and center and half hanging out of the seat pocket. A good comparison is a Chik-Fil-A sandwich bag with white paper on the outside and tinfoil on the inside but only larger. I guess Tiger wants to keep the puke warmed over the rest of the flight for reuse in their inflight snack selection. Come on Tiger, pony up for a real barf bag and not a fast food takeout wrapper!

Having flown multiple times on several airlines lately I have a feel for what their focus is...Ryanair is all about being ontime everytime and when a flight arrives early they even play a recorded calvary charge and message reminding everyone that they are Europe's most punctual airline with 93% of their flights ontime. Here, here...my kind of operation. Air Asia is all about quality and image and they remind us constantly of all their awards. Trust me, they truly earn the right to brag. Amazing, amazing service there. Tiger was all about that damn "main cabin" and anything and everything a human might like to do that will either blow the plane out of the air or cause the police to be dispatched.

It's funny...I arrived at my hostel and the reception girl asked how I got here. I told her Tiger and she let out a chortling sound and apologized for what I had probably experienced. I am flying Tiger in the morning to Sydney to connect to Hawaiian Airlines so wish me luck. Maybe I will find out where that elusive other cabin is.

I just figured anyone out there who has flown would appreciate when things just get nuts. But you know what, I've done a world of flying the past few months and every flight has been spot on in service and punctuality. You just can't let one dud get you down. I survived it and I got to Adelaide safely. In the end that's all that matters, and my "illegal" camera use didn't cause us to come up short. This trip is all about experiencing the new, the odd, the weird and so forth. I got my money's worth today as far as an off the wall flying experience goes so I guess afterall I got what I wanted!!!

If I don't get a chance to put any pics or anything interesting on here tomorrow, just check back in a day or so since I will be transiting across the US to Central America or somewhere else. See you wherever I end up.
]]> http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1256246589/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1256246589/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1256246589/tpod.html Thu, 22 Oct 2009 22:51:37 -0400 Around the World Part II

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Antigua Guatemala, Western Highlands, Guatemala

Chicken buses, Montezuma's Revenge laced water, sketchy food, and chaotic cities...I am totally back in my element after a first world detour through Australia, though it was a nice one. I landed in Guatemala City with no idea where I wanted to head first so Antigua was a spontaneous choice I made right as I was exiting baggage claim. Yeah, my first time here was that good a few years ago that I wanted to see the city again. And besides, it saved having to deal with a taxi ride into Guatemala City and then a chicken bus somewhere in the morning. GC is best avoided anyway so why not spend the afternoon somewhere pretty via a convenient and cheap shuttle service right from the airport? Once the shuttle had three passengers we were off like a herd of turtles through traffic choked GC. I wonder how many packs of cigarettes chicken bus fumes would equal. Forget worrying about swine flu, I think both my lungs have collapsed from the ride.

No agenda is holding me back until tomorrow afternoon when I meet my travel buddy in Quetzaltanango. That mouthful to pronounce is called Xela by the locals and is pronounced Shayla. This tongue twister name translates as Land of the Quetzals, and I know you are at chair's edge as to what a quetzal is so I will save you the anxiousness of wondering...it's the brightly colored national bird and the name of the currency as well.

And yes, this is the same friend who likes to rock the boat but I think we should be safe in Xela since it lies a few thousand feet above sea level in the Guatemalan highlands with no water taxis.
We are joining a three day hike through the highlands to a large lake though and I will definitely be staying on the shore in the highly unlikely event he should choose water transportation.

Antigua is about 30 miles and 200 years removed from Guatemala City. Like most travelers I just avoid Guatemala City and headed right on over here for the peace, quiet and safer streets. Since Antigua totally sucks off the tourism tit, it has been restored to its colonial splendor and lacks all of the cheap signs, massive bundles of electrical wires, grime, and decay of most Central American cities. The place dates back to the 1500s when it was at one time the capital but a major 1773 earthquake largely destroyed it. Luckily for us modern day travelers seeking something different, the ruins are still scattered about the city and are open to some exploration.

I wandered into two such ruins...The Santa Clara Convent dates back to 1715 but it was destroyed in 1717 by an earthquake. The nuns just couldn't catch some luck because after rebuilding, the new building was destroyed in 1773. The San Francisco Church going all the way back to 1579 fell down in 1773 as well. Walking around buildings that old (ruined or not) is what I came here for since it's an experience we just can't get at home. And besides the architecture, Antigua has some Salsa Verde I have yet to find anywhere else and the taste is one those little joys in life that makes you happy.

This entire city holds my attention for hours and I wander aimlessly up and down the streets looking at the architecture and taking in the street life. This is one of those places where walking down the same street five times means finding five different new things each time. The pastel stucco facades may look plain but that is typical for Central America. Behind those wooden doors are large landscaped courtyards with a house built around them. Homes are turned inward rather than outwards towards the noisy street.

One thing is constant though from street to street and that is the traditionally dressed people hawking fabrics and jewelry on the sidewalks. Walking ten feet is about impossible without someone hitting me up to buy crap that is probably made in some Chinese sweatshop. I love the introduction they give.."Mr. Mr. One dolluh. One dollu for necklace." Yes, one dollar does sound enticing enough to slow down and maybe buy something but that isn't the real price. I got so sick of being bombarded that yes, I took a few valuable minutes out of my day to investigate the offerings. See, only I would take the time to interpret Antiglish for everyone back home so that should you arrive here, you will be fully armed.

My short investigation revealed the actual price is usually 40 to 60 times one dolluh so in Antiglish saying "one" just means that the once mighty greenback is accepted. I almost want to hold one of them to the dolluh price they quote and see if I walk away at that price with some piece of fabric that will be absolutely useless back home. Just by turning to walk away the price drops by a quarter without any actual negotiations on the buyer's part. Actually starting to walk away gives an even nicer discount in the 70% range. But much like the food on Tiger Airways, I had no intention of buying anything and didn't go past my allotted time to see how low they will go.

The street touts may turn up the heat on unsuspecting tourists but the weather up here in the highlands cools everyone else down. High 70s during the day is such a nice change from the heat and humidity of Tikal, Guatemala back in August or even the Outback a few days ago. Just being able to walk around without turning into a stinking sweaty mess after ten minutes is awesome. Xela should be even more temperate.

Even though things are cool I needed to buy some water and found a convenience type store tucked away in one of those hundred year old buildings. I only had a 100 Quetzal ($12) note and needed 90 Qs worth of change. The woman began grumbling in Spanish while waving the note in my face. What un poquito Espanol I know told me she wanted a smaller note and now, or she was going to jump her large, Guatemalan and in charge butt right over that counter. Andele, andele, andele, agua, andele translates as Oh I know you aren't coming up in my store with that 100 Quetzal foolishness. It's much the same look you get at Taco Bell when you inconvenience the lady by having the audacity to place an order. I just need to give everyone an example now and then they can relate to back home.

I didn't walk away though because she needed the sale as much as I needed the water. While squinting at me she pursed her lips and reached right into her DD bra. I thought maybe something had slipped down in there but to my surprise she produced nine 10 Quetzal notes. I don't know how long they had been riding around inside that massive crack but they sure were soggy and warm. I need to spend those first or else I am going to have to give them a tick dip or something. Makes me wonder if I should keep them separated from my other cash or what.

Moms are always right...don't ever put your fingers in your mouth after touching money because only it knows where it has been. I have always wondered if moms overreact there some ever since my mom warned us when we were little. We'd cross into Mexico from Arizona and weren't allowed to touch anything until we washed our hands back in America because according to her the money there was filthy. Yes, now I have seen today exactly why we did things that we did back then. I've noticed that a lot of Central American women walk around with a Fort Knox jiggling right there in between their titties so be warned. I don't wish to find out where they stash the Quetzal coins and make change from with them.

Despite sweaty lingerie cash registers, Antigua is a mainstream tourist type place but also attracts a fairly sizeable backpacker type crowd. I am actually surprised by the amount of Americans down here since we are pretty rare outside the big European capitals. Most here are like me and just looking for something different. Others seem to enjoy smoking a fattie or two and they lounge around fried. As much as I have seen this around the world, I still don't understand it. Why do people spend a month somewhere getting so baked from something other than the sun they won't even remember where they were?

The flight down here is only three hours from Atlanta and I got to thinking about that. Fly three hours west of ATL and it's the same old same old but fly three hours south and it's an entirely different country and culture. My friends back home act like I am just at the end of the world in Guatemala but in reality I am closer than a flight to LA which no one considers far. Maybe exotic but definitely not far.

I can't believe I have gone from Adelaide to Antigua. Experiencing October 21st twice yesterday helped buy a lot of time to get here. Seeing the sun rise twice on the same day is one of those neat little quirks of crossing the international dateline eastbound. I woke up at 6am in Adelaide and left Sydney at about 3pm. After 13 hours in the air I was in San Francisco at 11am. Pretty neat stuff and totally unrelated to what I am doing down here now but I thought I'd pass it on anyway.

I am really looking forward to hiking 3 days starting Saturday and I'll see what I can find all day in Xela. I wonder if they have the same cash storage systems in their stores as well. I don't know...we'll see soon enough after the chicken bus gets me there.
]]> http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1255898459/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1255898459/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1255898459/tpod.html Mon, 19 Oct 2009 07:43:31 -0400 Around the World Part II

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Alice Springs, Northern Territory, Australia

West MacDonnell National Park and the mountain range that gives the park its name kept me thoroughly entertained and in awe the entire day. A camera can't even begin to capture the different shades of red rock and greenish grey hues of the grasses. Combine those colors with a sky so blue I can't even describe it and that's the Outback. This whole area truly is amazing to see in person.

Covering over 200 miles today is relatively nothing in terms of the Outback mentality and every mile was worth it. Think about this...some ranches here are bigger than Connecticut so what's a few hundred miles when you think about it? The best sites are spread out over this massive park and one day I hope to return for a trek on the Larapinta Trail that runs 223 kilometers right through it all rather than hops by truck like today. Just the bits and pieces of the trail that I hiked today left me wanting more. Several other people I have met wanted to see the park so we arranged our visit through a company specializing in the area.

We couldn't have asked for a better day either. Imagine a temperature about 90 degrees with no humidity and bright sun. That combination is just absolutely perfect for a series of hikes followed by dips in the freezing cold water. Yes, this is desert with dry river beds and semiarid landscapes but water is never far away. Animals such as kangaroos can dig a few feet down, wait a couple of minutes and water will fill the hole. So why would they dig a hole when small lakes are nearby you ask...a pack of dingos can corner them at the lakes and these small holes can be dug behind cover with 365 degree escape routes. An aquifer under this entire vast area feeds all the plants and wildlife. In fact, just the one tiny aquifer that Alice Springs has tapped into will last 500 years.

I gained a new perspective for survival in the bush as well. For thousands of years the Aboriginals have used the plants, animals and soil to sustain life. At the ochre pits I saw colorful mineral deposits that can cure digestive problems. A certain tree produces a red resin under the bark that can be dried, mixed with water and then used as an antiseptic and astringent for wounds. Another tree's branches can be used as spears to wound a roo in one leg so it can't hop off far with the other. And roo meat is a tasty bush tucker as they call it that is low in cholesteral and lean. Fruits abound as do edible mushrooms and flowers. If an animal won't touch it, neither should humans basically.

I even saw a coconut looking thing from some palm that is full of cyanide. Drop one of those babies in the water and a day later you've got fish galore. The cyanide can be leached out of it by a few days of soaking and the pulp can be used for something edible. Early European settlers watched the aboriginals pick the nuts but didn't bother to watch the preparation. Needless to say Darwin's Law took care of the stupid who ate it all fresh off the tree.

Just a quick look at the landscape makes one think this is all as inhospitable as a cyanide laced gut bomb, but life abounds everywhere. Just slowing down and opening my eyes truly blew me away with the world I uncovered. Someone in a rush might only see a cliff of jagged red rocks as they walk on by but stop, stay still and watch...a family of wallabees is tucked away in the crevices.

Keeping an open eye is also important to make it out alive. Numerous poisonous snakes live in the spinefax grass and all sorts of biting ants abound. Even the spinefax (pronounced spin a fax) will cause bodily harm with its spikes that both scratch and eventually cause temporary paralysis. So many varieties of scorpions and spiders are out there as well and if all this creepy crawler crap doesn't get the careless, the sun and dehydration will. Maneuvering around the Outback requires great care but the rewards are plenty.

And the best thing about the Outback is that this is the first time besides the summit of Kilimanjaro where I have ever been in air so clean that I feel as if my body is being detoxed. Seriously, the air is pure that I feel it inside me when I breathe. I found one of the most amazing places I have been right here in the center of Australia. This place just keeps getting better and better and I have only scratched the surface.

]]> http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1255834836/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1255834836/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1255834836/tpod.html Sun, 18 Oct 2009 07:41:03 -0400 Around the World Part II

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Alice Springs, Northern Territory, Australia

Thirty hours on board a train is about all I can handle in one sitting and my butt, brain and patience level had reached their limit by the time we rolled into Alice Springs. That is how long the journey from Darwin to Alice Springs took aboard The Ghan and that includes 4 hours in Katherine and then five hours in the middle of the night when the train just stopped and rested for whatever reason under pitch black skies. Katherine was the only train station the entire route and I did not see any civilization except for that one tiny town. Imagine being on a train that passes through just one tiny little speck on the map in 30 hours.

Don't knock Katherine though...Micky D's is coming soon so that is a Chamber of Commerce attraction to draw in those thousands of tourists. Now how can the parks and animals possibly compete with those Golden Arches? Seriously, it's impossible to outdo Ronald and the Hamburgler. American grease and fat are landing right in the heart of Australia to clog thousands more arteries. I guess the Outback is not the only thing that will be supersized a few years from now.

After watching this supersized nothingness roll on by my window for hours on end, I gained a new appreciation for the concept of remote. We hear how sparse it is but what I saw honestly makes an Arizona desert look like some big time development compared to the Outback. The entire country is a little bigger than the Lower 48 but it's population only compares to the size of metro Los Angeles. Just about all Aussies smartly live on a coast, so that leaves the middle to the kangaroos, termites, some amazingly tough people and whatever else dares to survive in this vast expanse. Really there's not a whole lot of anything going on but termite mounds.

The Ghan is celebrating its 80th anniversary of linking the Northern Territory to civilization, and people here liken it to a journey aboard the Orient Express. Aussies sure do have vivid imaginations is all I can say. Heat and remoteness must fuel these grand delusions because I was neither lapping in luxury or traveling on anything express. The train actually continues on to south coast Adelaide, but please shoot me now if I ever have to travel another 30 hours by any train, Orient Express or not. The Ghan is like one of those Balkan Buses times three but thank God minus the cigarette smoke.

To venture from Darwin in the north to Adelaide in the south requires my true love for an interesting journey plus 1,852 long, long, endless miles, or about the same distance between Atlanta and Tucson. I know your brains are just burning up neurons trying to figure out why it's called the Ghan. Quite simple...Desert ready Afghanis led camel trains along this route in the 1800s to open up the area to settlement. Interestingly enough, over 1,000,000 wild camels who descended from these originals live in the Outback now and are the only disease free specimens in the world. Evidently the ones living in the Middle East have contracted syphillis over the years. Yep, syphillis. Now how in the hell does a camel come down with a human venereal disease? Only Allah knows what is going on in those Bedouin huts after hours I guess.

The Ghan's 14 or so carriages are definitely divided into the Haves, the Have Even Mores, and the Great Unwashed such as myself. If this railway thinks I am going to come up with $3,000 to be a Have Even More on a one way train journey, they are out of their minds! That's 5,000 breakfasts in Borneo or just 300 pieces of egg on toast in Darwin. With this $3,000 think of all those banana leaf wearing, starving swollen belly kids we could adopt from those Sally Struthers commercials about feeding the children. Yes, you could receive a picture and monthly update the rest of your life rather than a 3 day one time journey. Oh the possibilities are endless.

But your time on here isn't endless and you are here to read about The Ghan so here goes...The three classes offered are Platinum, Gold, and Red. Interestingly enough, the Red car where I joined the other Untouchables holds 80 people and was full. The other 13 cars were relatively empty judging by the numbers of people on the platforms. Maybe they got an Orient Express type ride in their private berths with butlers and chefs.

But what happens behind those closed doors with the annointed ones remains a mystery since we couldn't walk past our car or the buffet carriage and of course were reminded several times that we paid for Red and to stay in Red. The median age in the fancy cars seemed to be about 123 so I can't imagine it's a lively drunkfest rolling through the Outback. We common folk had two by two seating that looks suspiciously like the old airline seats I have seen in old black and white 1950s pictures. Our Red car demograhics of about 1/3 decrepit and 2/3 backpackers made us the craziest mix of people I have seen in a while. You want to talk about a bizarre collision of worlds, come ride 30 hours like we did.

As far as sleeping goes, those 1950s style airline seats are the Outback Motel 6 unless anyone wants to cough up $150 more for a miniscule Red bunk. That might make it a Days Inn experience. No that is pushing it a bit too far...how about an old Econolodge in an interesting part of town. Not surprisingly, no one took the "upgrade" since this was mostly a backpacker crowd. About the only person who got any sleep last night anyway was an elderly lady two rows up who snored so loudly she kept us all counting sheep well past lights out. How she managed not to inhale her blanket with all that loud racket is beyond any scientific explanation. A stationary train for five hours means no soothing clickety clack background noise to mute the snoring and the constant banging of the restroom doors.

Then around 4am some elderly French couple's travel alarm began going off every five minutes and we motioned to their bag on the overhead rack. In return we got that snide French shoulder shrug and a flick of the wrists to dismiss us. I honestly think they were tone deaf to the alarm since it wasn't speaking in French. I was wrong to assume that a cheap plastic object going Beep, Beep, Beep from the bowels of some tacky vinyl travel bag would universally mean please turn me off. So so wrong and I really shouldn't presume things like that anymore.

An hour of beeping led to a mutiny, and with everyone's encouragement I took the bag and dumped it in the old man's lap. An Australian lady then motioned for these morons to fish out the alarm and turn it off. The wife was so startled she ran to the restroom with one hand firmly clutching her butt while waiving the other. I think the English translation would be, "oops I crapped myself." Yes, it really is easy that simple to scare the crap out of the French in the middle of the night. Some guy finally put the alarm clock to rest. It was dark in there so I can't say with confidence if that clock is still in any shape to beep another day.

Later in the morning these fine French tourists admonished all of us for not speaking French to them about the alarm clock situation and we found out we are "very, very ignorant" people. Hey, it's payback for my three days in Marseille I guess and I am glad that woman crapped her own ignorant self. Turns out their French behinds did speak English after all. Such a lovely couple.

The Ghan journey is one of those that is definitely worthwhile and cool one time and one time only just to get a perspective on how vast the Outback is. But at the same time I was glad after a day and a half to kiss The Ghan and that French couple traveling on to Adelaide goodbye. My mom always told us fish and company stink after two days and man was she right. The scenery was just mile after mile after mile after mile of endless scrubby bush landscapes under the bluest, most pollution free sky I have ever seen. Two red kangaroos came bouncing by the track at one point and that right there made the whole trip worth it. I was hoping to see more but the train obviously spooks them.

Speaking of roos, I learned some handy survival tips, too should anyone ever cross paths with one. The kangaroo will take your hand in his paws and pull you towards him while looking you in the eye. He is not trying to shake your hand or give you a warm Aussie Outback welcome though as past tourists have thought. Actually that was their last thought because once the human subject is close to the roo's body, he will stand up on one foot and slice the human open with the other. So we have tourists on the coasts becoming croc poop and tourists in the Outback becoming shredded beef jerky out in that scorching sun. This place is awesome!

Only three hours enroute to Alice, why this train stops in Katherine for just over four hours I will never know. It must be solely to boost their tourism industry since overpriced 3 hour packages to the attractions are sold much like on a cruise ship. I skipped the $300 balloon rides and $100 river cruises and just took a transfer to Katherine Gorge National Park. And let me just tell everyone back home you have no idea what extremes I go through to bring you the ends of the earth!

At the park's visitor center I got cursed out by a middle age Scottish couple whom I somehow offended with my American politeness. Whatever it was they were trying to ask still eludes me and I had only nicely told them, "I am sorry. I cannot understand what you just asked." The guy asked again and then I repeated the same. Since they weren't French, nothing other than helping them was on my mind and I truly was trying to decipher his riddle. Instead, Mr. Edinburgh looked right at me and said something about how I can kiss my f$%^ing bleepity bleep and do something else with my bleepity bleep. Now I do know my body pretty well and what he suggested is just not anatomically possible as far as I know. I am still searching for one of those bleepity bleep locations, too.

Now understanding him was the challenging part of my Katherine Gorge adventure. The easy part was climbing my way up a fairly steep cliff in 114 degree heat with not a hint of shade. Yes, it was hotter than hell out there and the overweight out of shape Scottish people unused to such a climate were trying to hike it as well. Why? That's all I want to know.

Of all the people on the train, only five of us chose to climb the gorges, and as with anything in life, the best views do require some hard work and sweat. Or maybe we were just nuts to try it in 114 degree heat. After climbing up and back in this Aussie inferno, I was talking to two girls from Texas and we agreed it can be hotter feeling back home with the humidty. To give you an idea of the heat...I drank 4 liters of water in one hour. For those of you who are scratching your heads trying to convert that into something tangible...that's two 2 liter Coke bottles minus 128,000 calories.

After this little trek up the cliff, enter again Mr. Edinburgh who delivered another tirade but sadly all I could make out was something about our humid asses rotting somewhere illicit. I wish I could have fully comprehended it all but I was just too tired and hot to try. All I could manage was another, "I am sorry. I really can't understand a word you are saying."

As if this wasn't enough I spotted a group of wallabees near the visitor's center. All but one bolted, and after curiously watching me a few seconds, the remaining furball flipped me off. I told myself, "No he didn't just flip me off." But yes he did. Seriously, he raised his paw and gave me the middle finger salute three times. Whenever I would move a little closer that little bag of fleas would just extend it right on up there. Eventually he ran off, too, since these miniature kangaroo like things don't particularly like humans I am told. Yeah, he was all brave at a distance but couldn't handle the heat when I told him I was giong to snap that paw off in a second. My journey was just awesome A list stuff the past 24 hours...French Delight at 4am, some Scottish drama at tea time, and the bird from a wallabee. If that's not the perfect afternoon trifecta, I don't know what is.

After a great overland train journey, I've finally made it to Alice Springs right in the heart of the Outback. She's got a whopping 28,000 people and is the only city between the north, south, east and west. Think about that...this is like some small one stoplight town in Nebraska being all the US has on tap in the so called flyover country. Alice lies right at the foot of the MacDonnell Range which I will explore tomorrow all day long. The weather here is perfect...Finally, finally, finally some nonhumid air and a pleasant first world town not built inside a convection oven. I'd say it's only about 85 degrees. This is the perfect opposite of Darwin, Katherine, El Salvador, Borneo, Malta and everywhere else I have lost five pounds of water a day.

I can't wait to get to the MacDowells and do some exploration early tomorrow morning. Australia just keeps better and better!!!

]]> http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1255686470/tpod.html http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1255686470/tpod.html#comments Travel Blogs http://www.travelpod.com/travel-blog-entries/atlpilot36/2/1255686470/tpod.html Fri, 16 Oct 2009 08:05:34 -0400 Around the World Part II

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Darwin, Northern Territory, Australia

Australia is turning out to be the high point of my trip so far. It's the people, the scenery, the laid back vibe...actually it's everything about this place and I have only touched a tiny corner of it. Today I set out for Litchfield National Park with a bunch of Australians and had an amazing day. The park is known for its diversity of vegetation and waterfalls. Though this is definitely the dry season for about another month now, the waterfalls inside the park were flowing but not as at the end of six month's worth of monsoons. Dry season or not, several great swimming holes give some awesome Aussie style relief on these hot, humid days during the Build Up.

Torrential rainy season monsoons will soon deluge this area, and a good portion of the park goes under water. Saltwater crocs move in and actually swim around the falls so this is about the only time of year when it's "safe" to take a dip. Crocs are a way of life here in the Top End and just randomly walking anywhere is definitely not advisable. In fact, a German girl took a drunken late night dip last year and one of the friendly crocs turned her into some croc poop. Darwin at work literally in a town named for him. I am sure Sir Charles would have been proud.

In the 6 hours it took to see four sets of falls someone set fire to the area around the magnetic termite mounds yet we still managed to visit despite the area already being fiery, scorched and smoky. That's Australia...you find a way to make do. The Aboriginals and park rangers do controlled burns at the end of the monsoons so there isn't a great amount of explosive underbrush causing things to spiral out of control. But the quick work one cigarette butt will do to an area that receives not a single drop of rainfall for six months out of the year is amazing to see first hand.

Despite the little inferno today, the magnetic termite mounds survived. In addition to designing fireproof homes, somehow these termites are smart enough to build these towers facing north to south. I know you are just waiting in anticipation for some awesome answer as to why but it's actually quite simple. With the rectangular hill on a north-south axis, the large sides get the warming power of the east to west path of the sun. Only in Litchfield National Park near a town called Humpty Doo are the termites smart enough to figure this out.

Did you know that termites build their mounds by crapping out cellulose and supposedly their methane farts contribute to global warming? Who would have ever known? This is why I am always pleased to travel to the ends of civilization to fish out this useful information. The Aboriginals also believe that this hardened material cures Montezuma's Revenge when crushed into water. I say if that's true, build heaps of these mounds along the beach in Cancun and problems will be solved instantly for millions of tourists a year. No worries eating or drinking Mexicrap every again...just down this termite poop with your water and away you go without worrying about where the nearest facility might be hidden.

The Aboriginals have also provided one solution to my nutritional needs as well. Have you ever seen those shows where the fools eat just about anything while you are sitting in your living room succumbing to a wave of nausea watching? I tried something today that just might make one of those shows. Some interesting ants roam these areas but they aren't just any ole ants. They have a swollen green butt the size of the round thing on a pin that the Aboriginals lick. Yes, they lick ant butts. Stay with me here...

The process is multistep but quite simple even for the average American underexposed to such Aboriginal delicacies. First, walk up to a line of these things that are just minding their own business. Now nab one with your thumb and forefinger but don't worry as they do not bite. Make sure its green behind is exposed between the fingers and lower it right onto the tongue. The sensation and taste are exactly like a quick squirt of lemon juice and supposedly these things contain Vitamin C. And yes, I tried one. Actually I became addicted to these things and hunted them for about ten minutes. Now I know with confidence I won't succumb to scurvy during my Australian travels.

For sure placing a green ant butt on my tongue was the last thing I dreamed about doing when I woke up this morning, and I resisted the temptation all day. But some Aussie fueled peer pressure led me to try one since I couldn't let them think Americans aren't an adventurous people. So in order to make you guys look good back home, I had to rise to the challenge and take one for the team. And surprisingly that jolt of lemony goodness really does taste good.

And speaking of food, I bought some mangos from the back of a pickup truck out in the middle of the outback. These weren't the green and red nastiness found at our grocery stores. No, these were some sort of orange colored nectary goodness and I ended using a pocket knife to cut and eat three they were so good. Just imagine some sweet sugary like fruit all over your tongue. Even better than an ant butt, huh? Probably more socially acceptable, too. An Australian lady told me to go easy though because in her own words, "Careful there mate. Too many of them things will give you the spritzes." That's ok...so far so good. Besides, didn't we learn today that eating termite mounds cures all that anyway?

I love Australia. This place is amazing.

Tomorrow I head to Alice Springs via a 24 hour journey on a train called the Ghan. I will put some pics of the journey on here as soon as I can when I get to Alice Springs right there in the heart of Australia.
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