Caribbean Cove Top 3 Survival Tips A review of Caribbean Cove Hotel & Conference Center

Caribbean Cove Survival Tips: or recently rereleased as "Why I Won't Be Coming Back Here No More".

DISCLAIMER TO THOSE WITH QUEASY STOMACHS: PAID $595 FOR 2 ROOMS FOR 1 NIGHT SO I SUPPOSE I MAY BE A BIT BITTER. If you can handle the graphic evidence supplied hereafter then read on.....

1. PACK LIGHT AND LEAVE YOUR MODESTY AT THE DOOR -- Check in is late (4pm and DON'T plan on checking in early -- doesn't happen - though you can swim as early as 11am), checkout is early (11am - though you can swim until 3pm). If you plan on swimming before checkin or after checkout you will have to use the (cue the ominous music - screech, screech, screech) locker rooms. LADIES - please note that this locker room has one bench, the tiniest kindergarten size lockers that take 50 cents each (I used 4 or 5 for my stuff), and absolutely no privacy. I must say, in retrospect, I am grateful the locker room didn't have any mirrors, which at the time, I though to be quite odd. It is one tiny stuffy room, with just, well, little lockers and a bench. The biggest problem is that it is on the entire other side of the Caribbean Cove separated far, far away from the bathrooms and showers. So be organized, because you'll have to go between the locker room and "shower" to get dressed, pack a swimsuit-stuff-only bag and leave the rest in the car, (better yet put your swimsuit under your and your kids clothes and drive to the hotel that way, even if you're driving from Idaho) oh yeah, and bring lots of quarters (which I had to borrow from other naked, but seemingly Caribbean Cove savvy women). If you opt to change in the Cove's bathroom/shower area be advised it is wet, dirty, and only has 2 showers; yes that's right folks, I said 2 showers for all those women. The showers were always occupied, so we had to leave at the end of the day (since we had to check out of our room) chlorine filled and rather stinky for our 3 hour drive. Did I mention that I paid $595 for two rooms and still had to put quarters in the lockers, oh, I did mention that.

2. PARENTS, DON'T PLAN ON RELAXING. -- Alas, my most recent People magazine with Jennifer and Brad on the cover lays unread as I am trying to make sure my children are not abducted as there is no Chuck E Cheese type security. I spent most of the time in fear of never seeing my children again. Honestly, there are hundreds of little children there, and anyone at anytime could walk off with one, four, or six children since anyone off the street can walk right into the water park. It is scary. Be vigilant. Bring an extra parent; better yet, bring a babysitter, nanny, grandparent or your friendly local sheriff deputy with you. Or wait until your kids are self-sufficient teenagers karate experts then bring them to the Caribbean Cove.

3. DO NOT EAT IN THE HOTEL -- I know, I know. It's so enticing that "Kids Eat Free" at the Cafe St. Paul, but, be forewarned it's only a good deal if your kids actually receive their meal and you get what you ordered. After two hours, two of my children still had not received their food and I finally ate what was put in front of me (not what I ordered). It was chaos, mayhem, with a lot of tables of angry parents and hungry, tired children who only wanted to go back into the pool. If you have to eat at Cafe St. Paul, you have to eat dinner by 4 p.m. Better yet, bring a cooler of sandwiches from home or order Pizza Hut.

SYNOPSIS: My kids, which are all under the age of 5 absolutely loved the water park itself. And the hotel ammenities were adequate. It's a typical Holiday Inn, nicely redecorated, somewhat loud, which is what we expected. As far as the Cove, it was a lot, lot of work on my part to make sure everyone was dressed, safe and accounted for. I guess I expected that for the price I paid, and being that the Cove is a brand new facility I would receive first class accomodations. At the least, they should have built an adequate locker room/shower/bathroom/changing facility. Because, if you're like us, due to the late checkin/early checkout you'll use the Cove changing facilites as much or more than your own hotel room.

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Caribbean Cove Hotel & Conference Center
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