Asian SR Hotel Chittagong City

... but timid putts to get there. dhooor, said my caddy. "dhooor" is bengali for disgusting. hole number 3: 375-yard par 4 from the tee you have water along the left and a steep mountain covered with a rainforest on your right. it's a death trap for slicers. the fairway is fairly straight down to the green but with a gentle bend to the left. i aimed for the water and landed short and to the right of the creek but picked the wrong iron for my second shot grossly misjuding ...

... and decided to meet up again for chirstmas. after lunch i checked out of the hotel and hired a taxi to take me to a place called bhatiary. it is a verdant valley way out in the hills with a very beautiful 18-hole golf course, a lodge, a restaurant, and a bar. i had hoped to get in a quick 9 holes before sunset but it was not to be because my taxi driver was a moron and was hopelessly lost. fortunately, there ...

... around and called pencil to kill time. it's fun to call her because she is always thrilled to hear from me no matter how many times i call. eventually some staff arrived and i was able to check in. i had to take my golf bag over to the oversize luggage place but that was not a big deal. soon i was through all formalities and down by gate 43 looking for gmg airlines but there was no one there and the gate was closed although the computer screens showed that the flight was ...

... 11 runs. Gilchrist, sensing that we all wanted to go home early, opened his shoulders and exploded. Fours and sixes were flying everywhere. His fifty came up off of 28 balls, whilst Katich at the other end, just sat back and watched. It was starting to look like Gilchrist would get to his ton before Katich would get to 20, and after 10 overs, we were 0-90. Then Gilchrist, going for one to many big shots, was caught near the boundary for 76. Next over, Katich was ...

... white and the ball is white instead of red making it easier to see!). But they do require different skills so some of our team line up was different. The selectors were also eager to test out some fresh blood in the lead up to the next World Cup next year. The Bangladeshi supporters were going wild and the game hadn't even started! It was packed solid! There were a lot of army presence, as usual. There are lots of different types and up till now we still haven't found out the ...

... prickshaw drivers had no idea !!! We did eventually find a guy, who pointed us in the right direction. So we went down a road, and through a fence, we could see these container ships, slowly being stripped. We tried to get in one gate, but was refused, so Lucy and Bernie tried another. Pete, said **** this and asked to speak to the boss, and a couple of minutes later, we were in. There were a few ships, cut in half, just sitting there, stuck in the ...

... the boys arrived. Then Lucy told me they had asked for Baksheesh, even though Lucy had put the bags on herself. She told them to **** off. When I was asked, I told them to stop producing and then they would have more money !!! We drove for a while and then stopped for lunch. When the bill arrived, I couldn't understand why it was so high. We went through it and they were overcharging me, so after I accused them of being East Pakistanis, the correct price arrived. Once ...

... in the back of a deadly Sudanese bus for 2 days between Kurma and Wadi Halfa, care of "Mohammed - the crocodile killer".  While Mr R and Mr Prickett peered out the window looking for crocodiles in the sand to test our driver's reputed skills, Mrs R turned the colour of a crocodile skin handbag.  In at number 71, Ethiopian b*st*rd bus journeys.  Any country where every bus leaving town departs at 6am has got to be bad.  But to make it worse, every trick from the rugby field has ...

... the world in 80 days.  (Although, all the fixers in the world couldn't get you across Dhaka during rush hour in under 4 hours.)  But a storm is brewing on the southern horizon.  Our next cricketing destination, Sri Lanka, is in the midst of a political lemon meringue pie.  The peace accord which has been in effect for the last couple of years was yesterday scrapped by the Sri Lankan President, who herself is being ...

... pasty white beer bellies, going rapidly red, much to the confusion of the shirt-wearing Bangla men.  Even Mr R felt his substantial girth was not up to the task.  So, his Eddie Stobart top remained firmly stretched across said expanse.  On the final day's play, we had planned to sit in the East Stand - 15 pence each - to see how the other 133 million live. But, since the day promised to be a long and gruelling one - all 3 outcomes to play for - we ...