This was posted in Facebook and seems a fair warning to put in here:
having spent many years on the larger islands in thailand and observed the ways of the thai beach boys from a cultural and habitual perspective, i feel it might be helpful to put out some advice for those new girls to thailand who find themselves interested in a thai beach boy, as i am so tired and depressed at seeing these young, beautiful, naive girls come to thailand with no knowledge of the culture or situation and getting beat, cheated on, lied to, left pregnant or sick with STDs, and publicly humiliated by one of these guys, and sent home crying their eyes out, their self esteem ruined.
here's the deal, and you might think i am being overly harsh but i could refer you to plenty of girls who learned the hard way:
- it's all about sex, not love. thai guys have to work very hard and even pay money to a thai girl's family before she will let him in. in contrast, farang girls on holiday will jump right into bed with the boys, and it's free! they have many girls to choose from, you are not important to them. every single week there arrives a new load of nubile, easy tourist girls. i have seen so many times the boys take their "girlfriend" of the week to the boat to leave, and they wait there for the next boat to pull in and pick up whatever stupid girl is on it. face it, these guys get these jobs many time because thai girls do not want them. they work around farang girls because they know it is easy and free to get them in bed. every single one of these girls thinks they are special, and that their new man is "different" and they soon find out they are wrong.
- they lie. they will say absolutely ANYTHING to get you to sleep with them. it is a game. there is a lot of backslapping with their friends when they succeed in picking you up. they will lie about their age, marital status, how much money they make, everything in their past. the goal is simply to win. this is the same in every culture but in a tourist area it becomes a lot more hard core.
-they are not safe. you need to wear condoms, and if you don't, god help you. these guys sleep with an insane number of girls, and some with boys as well. even if you have been together for a couple weeks, that doesn't mean it is safe to stop wearing condoms. if yu want to do that, go get both of you tested first.
-some of these guys are serious criminals. you might think it is glamorous to date a drug dealer, but look up the drug laws in thailand. it isn't fun to watch your boyfriend out of his head every night either. a lot of the boys i know have actually raped and/or murdered someone in the past! they definitely aren't going to tell you this themself. they also can be very violent, and no one is going to tell you that they beat the crap out of the last little english girl who was here because everyone around them is afraid of repercussions. a good rule to keep in mind is that if there are any long term farang girls around, and they seem wary of discussing your man, it is because they have been threatened. if they drop you any hints, take them seriously- they have seen these guys in action. the stupidest thing you can do is run right back to the guy saying "so and so said"- in the long run you will have sabatoged the only support network available to you.
- if they get you pregnant and want to marry you in a short amount of time, they probably want a visa to your country. most of the girls i know who got pregnant were abandoned by their boyfriend for the next sweet young thing. as for marriage, it doesn't stop most of them from cheating. do some reading on thai culture, visit their family, look at their friends and position in society, and ask yourself "do i really know and trust this guy to build a life with?" before you get ahead of yourself. some of these guys are very poor and see you as their meal ticket. don't trust an offer of free land either. nothing is free.
beach boys have a bad reputation, and it is well deserved. don't assume that all thai men are the same (there are lots of nice thai guys around, but it seems like once they become too involved with the tourist industry they get jaded and hard), and there are even one or two of the beach boys that turn out to be ok in the long run. but there are far, far more broken heart stories than good ones in this element of society. generally speaking, if you meet a young, good looking guy in a tourist area, who speaks decent english, has a tattoo or piercing or farang style clothes, who says he is a dj, who twirls fire, or who works at a bar, they are most likely professionals with a long history. the worst ones i have met are on koh chang, in bangkok, and on koh phangan. make sure you know what you are in for. it's cool to come and have fun for a week or so on your holiday, but it is when you start taking it more seriously that you will have problems. you have to be willing to work through a lot of crap over a long period of time before there is a possibility of a successful relationship. if you don't plan on staying in thailand, then forget about it. watch out for number one, and good luck.