Hi Mack,
I will bet Paul will have great information for you.
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2. Who/how/where should one trek with, and should one avoid going to see hill tribe peoples? Is this exploitive and damaging, or are there legitimate ways of interacting on a genuine level?
I remember being in Northern Thailand my first year there. I wanted to do a trek but had the same thoughts and concerns as you do now on the whole thing. I didn't have the time back then to do the proper research so I never went on a trek. I was too consumed with the possibilty of choosing the wrong trekking company and being very unhappy with the experience. I had heard some pretty bad stories.
Years later on another trip to SEA we met a Canadian fellow in Luang Prabang who was married to a Khmu women, both really beautiful people thru & thru. He ran treks to certain places in the area with an option to have a wander through a Khmu village. I've always felt in some way that no matter how culturally sensitive the visit is, I would still feel odd and perhaps slightly fear that in some ways maybe it is an insensitive thing to do. We had a wonderful trek. We did go to the small Khmu village and at first the people seemed extremely wary of us. We were the only ones there with our guide and I felt at first that we had a made a mistake.
We talked with the head of the village for some time. We had an amazing conversation and slowly the rest of the tribe came closer and closer until they were close enough that I started interacting with some of the women and children. Long story short, it turned out to be one of the best experiences I have had and after some time, the tribe seemed genuinely happy to have us there. It meant so much to us for them to share a small bit of their lives with us. They asked alot fo questions about us and we of them. It was is still quite vivid in my mind.
They offered us Lao whiskey and showed us around their village. They even slaughtered a pig and shared it with us that evening! We ditched the rest of the trek and stayed on with them. It seemed the right thing to do. It was a wonderful exchange. Once a year I send a package of clothing to our CDN friend and his wife takes it back to that same village and distributes it (while talking to the head of the village, he expressed concern over the children not having enough clothing.) It's a small thing, but I believe it makes a big difference.
I think it depends on who takes you and to where and I believe it can be difficult to find the right organisation that upholds a sensitivity to the culture itself. It is
awful to be taken to a place where you feel you should not be there, and the people are put on a type of display. I don't know of a more uncomfortable and awkward feeling.
Okay sorry, I've rambled on enough and meanwhile not answered any of your questions!
Have a fun time and I hope you find the right trek for you.