Welcome to the TravelPod forums

[starlagurl]

http://journals.worldnomads.com/simon_monk/post/24276.aspx

Pretty funny, smirk worthy at least...

1. SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour.
2. COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
3. FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
4. NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
5. BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away…
6. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
7. SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
8. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
9. ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.
10. A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
11. A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.
12. A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
13. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
14. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
15. A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
16. A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
17. AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.
18. A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.
19. AN IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have not one. No-one believes you, so they bomb the S*$# out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy…
20. AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
21. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive…

[aopaq]

Got more than a smirk from me! Holy cow, that's funny!!!

[findingnine]

Wow. Mean finish.

[jeremystravels]

Wow. Mean finish.

Agreed. I thought it was really good up til about #15 though!

[big_red_truck]

That was hilarious...Louise, I'm gonna steal this so I can post it on Facebook

[starlagurl]

Sure, I stole it too...(see link at the top)

[aopaq]

It was funny until it starts to get racy.

Really? You think that it gets "racy"?

[big_red_truck]

Maybe a little bit nationalistic...

[big_red_truck]

I figure if I can laugh at the ones that make fun of the US, I can laugh at all of them...

I only give as good as I can get

[raniroo]

I've only just read this and it is hilarious....especially the aussie cows....are we perceived to be really like that?

[branefatboy]

22.A MACEDONIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.You make good profit...
THEN>>>
The prime minister said...ppl take credits,loans...feed them,buy more....,we will take the milk in this factory ,,SWEDMILK,,and we pay you,,double,, then anyone for the milk.

After 8 months with no payment they shut down the factory with 50 millions loss and the ppl with no money for their milk.

And now they are selling everything(cows,property,cars) to take the loans back.


Real story
http://www.makfax.com.mk/en-us/Details.aspx?itemID=2574

[big_red_truck]

There are a couple more too!

A SWEDISH CORPORATION: You have two cows, and the government pays you not to milk them.

A GREEK CORPORATION: You have two cows and sell them to a tourist for "very special price for you my friend - two for one!"

A POLISH CORPORATION: You have two cows and they both move to the UK on their new EU passports

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Then you have a giant churrasco (bar-b-q) and drink a lot of caiparihnas.