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> Divorce in Bhutan
wakingdream
post Dec 26 2008, 10:31 PM
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When I think of Bhutan, being predominantly Buddhist, I think of a peaceful paradise where family life is much more harmonious than many other countries. I was surprised to read that in Thimpu, divorce is very common, even though the article reads that Bhutan is urbanising much more slowly than its neighbors.

Bhutanese take divorce in their stride

"The divorce case is very, very common. If you go to the court, you will see most of the cases are all on divorce."



Why do you think divorce is reaching higher levels in Bhutan? Do you think Buddhists in Bhutan are more intolerant of the unpleasant nature of failing marriages?




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travelmonster
post Dec 29 2008, 03:04 PM
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This quote on the article:

"In Bhutan basically marriage is very mutual and practical"

Passang Dorji

Says it all for me - there are numerous reasons for marrying someone and because it's 'practical' wouldn't work for me.



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wakingdream
post Dec 29 2008, 08:34 PM
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QUOTE
Says it all for me - there are numerous reasons for marrying someone and because it's 'practical' wouldn't work for me.


You said it. Me either. I am practical in alot of things, but not love. Nuh-uh. Love is love, practical is lists.


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starlagurl
post Jan 6 2009, 02:06 PM
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I'm confused, why shouldn't marriage be practical?


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travelmonster
post Jan 6 2009, 03:52 PM
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It just wouldn't work for me. Being practical is something that would come into say buying a car - how many miles to the gallon does it do? How much will it cost to tax it? Insure it? etc., but trying to relate that to a marriage - I just don't see how it would work. People grow and change, if you marry someone for practical reasons and then suddenly they don't do 'that many miles to the gallon' anymore for whatever reason, whats left?

Nope, love is the way forward with marriage for me.






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starlagurl
post Jan 7 2009, 10:21 AM
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Oh, I see, but can't it be both? Can't you help each other out? That's part of being practical I think.


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travelmonster
post Jan 7 2009, 04:12 PM
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Helping each other out I just assume to be part of any relationship, married or not.


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starlagurl
post Jan 7 2009, 04:13 PM
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Isn't that practical then? I'm confused on this one.

Are you saying don't choose your spouse *just* because it's practical? Because that would make sense.


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travelmonster
post Jan 7 2009, 04:20 PM
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I don't understand how helping someone would be practical? Me and John just help each other because we want to. Actually I help friends out to - and strangers if I see they need something - What I'm saying I suppose is that I don't see helping someone in the same category as being practical.



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starlagurl
post Jan 7 2009, 04:21 PM
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I dunno, if your spouse trusts you and knows you will help them, and you trust them and know that they will help you, that seems practical to me.


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travelmonster
post Jan 7 2009, 04:27 PM
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I honestly don't think I would be attracted to anyone that I didn't trust and that wasn't open hearted enough to help someone when they needed it - so I guess I take that as a given in a relationship - the example I gave above is more the sort of thing that I see as practical and for me, I couldn't base a relationship on it.



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starlagurl
post Jan 7 2009, 04:28 PM
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Maybe we are debating semantics again...


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travelmonster
post Jan 7 2009, 04:29 PM
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laugh.gif highly likely!


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starlagurl
post Jan 7 2009, 04:32 PM
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I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is a practical element to all marriages. You save a LOT of money by living together, pooling resources, etc. etc. etc. That doesn't mean you don't love each other, and I think it's a good reason to get married, in addition to love and a nice relationship and fuzzy stuff like that.


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travelmonster
post Jan 7 2009, 04:41 PM
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Money would never attract me to a marriage - that is the stone cold truth. My first husband was absolutely loaded, but it was never gonna work. When I first met John he was 15,000 in debt and didn't have a penny to his name, I was the one with the house etc., but I loved him, so let him move in and it didn't matter a jot to me that he had nothing to contribute - money doesn't bring happiness and it would NEVER be a consideration for me.

When me and John got together there was nothing practical about it at all - quite the opposite actually, it was all very complicated and I honestly didn't see how it could work out - but I was wrong.



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starlagurl
post Jan 7 2009, 04:43 PM
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That's good for you, for real. But for a lot of people it helps if there is a mutual helping out sort of symbiotic relationship, I think.

Even though John was broke, I bet you he wasn't lazy all the time and you didn't feel like he was leeching off of you and using you.

I think there has to be a give and take.


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travelmonster
post Jan 7 2009, 04:57 PM
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Yeah, I guess everyone sees things differently, but when I was talking about helping out, I didn't mean material things - I meant support and assistance if needed in the same way you help your friends and family.

No, you are right, John wasn't lazy and I never felt used thats a totally different thing.

Yeah, give and take for sure - but aren't you like that with your friends etc. anyway?


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wakingdream
post Jan 7 2009, 07:42 PM
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QUOTE
When me and John got together there was nothing practical about it at all - quite the opposite actually, it was all very complicated and I honestly didn't see how it could work out - but I was wrong.


I don't think (most) people get together because it's practical but it just ends up being that way most of the time.


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starlagurl
post Jan 8 2009, 08:15 AM
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QUOTE(travelmonster @ Jan 7 2009, 04:57 PM) *

Yeah, give and take for sure - but aren't you like that with your friends etc. anyway?


Yeah, and I don't have any "impractical" friends. If I feel my friends don't benefit me (ie. they aren't giving back in the relationship) they are dumped.

We are most probably arguing semantics, yep, ahaha.

Susie: Yep, I know what you mean, I agree with that too.


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travelmonster
post Jan 9 2009, 01:00 PM
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QUOTE(starlagurl @ Jan 8 2009, 01:15 PM) *

Yeah, and I don't have any "impractical" friends. If I feel my friends don't benefit me (ie. they aren't giving back in the relationship) they are dumped.


Really laugh.gif, wow thats harsh!!

For me marriage is still about love and sexual compatibility - then again though considering I left a marriage, including a house that was technically half mine with just a bag full of clothes -leaving my worldly goods behind to go and stay at my mums, which meant a 100 mile round trip per day to go to work - having no idea where i'd live etc. I guess you couldn't really call me a practical person!!!



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