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[starlagurl]

Curt1591 seems to have a strong position against "hooking up" with people you meet at bars. Do you have an opinion on the subject?

I would like to hear Curt's opinion at least.

[sianeth]

Well I would like to meet someone fullstop... never mind the hooking up bit!!

[starlagurl]

What do you mean by that?

[curt1591]

I would imagine "hooking up" implies the casual encounter often initiated at clubs. "Fullstop" might imply more depth.

The relationships I have seen succeed, more often, have been those with people who met in everyday life. These have been co-workers, casual aquaintances, or encounters through mutual friends. These people have usually seen the real person.

The more problematic relationships I have seen have been those who have met in clubs, bars or at parties. At such venues, one will usually try to be at one's best. Add the atmosphere and a set of beer goggles, and shortcomings are easy to mask. It can often take some time to regain focus.

[polydemic]

I go to bars to see the locals & meet people in general As for "hooking up", that can be done anywhere people get togehter, including bars. I don't see meeting a person at a bar different than meeting her anywhere else.

[starlagurl]

At such venues, one will usually try to be at one's best.

Really? I am usually not impressed with the boys hanging out at the bar and stumbling home afterwards.

[skylab]

I never went to bars or clubs for "picking up". I only went to clubs for the music. I love meeting new people but I never had the thought of going out only to hook up. I liked it to be more random.

[starlagurl]

Yeah, I agree. I never expect to meet a new boyfriend at a bar.

[travelmonster]

I dated men that I met in bars many, many moons ago - I gave it up as a bad job though and decided that I wouldn't go out with anyone I met in a bar again. That was a loooooong time ago now though.

[darrenstravels]

I've met loads of cool people in bars and clubs, some of whom are now my closest friends.

I guess it depends on the circumstances really - the people who are my friends, and the people I met in bars/clubs who I went on to date - well that was more a case of the fact that I only really went to a handful of bars and clubs, as did everyone in my town that was interested in rock/metal music. It was a case of knowing lots of familar faces, and over time you ended up knowing them, and in some cases you hooked up with them or what not. It's really not much different from meeting people at work.

Then you have the other circumstance - you met someone that night, and cop off with them. Yeah I've done that. Some I went on to date, majority was a clear one off thing.

I think, honestly, that if you end up in bed with them the same night you meet them, it's sorta doomed really. I think if that's what happens, then it's probably that you both didn't want anything except a one off. I guess the fun part is going out not knowing if you may meet someone. Saying that, I go out so I can get my dance on and have fun with my mates. Meeting new people is off the radar these days.

If you want a serious relationship, then in my experience, it's a hella lot more fun (and better) to get to know them well before it gets to the pants off part.

[darrenstravels]

At such venues, one will usually try to be at one's best. Add the atmosphere and a set of beer goggles, and shortcomings are easy to mask. It can often take some time to regain focus.

I'd disagree a bit, actually. I'm normally at my worst at such places.

I clear the dance floor with my "dancing"; I say really inappropriate things to people I've just met (especially at weddings, I dunno why - I find it amusing I guess); I always spill at least half a pint of Cider down my top; and if I met a fine lady I'd imagine my friends would carry me off back to the dancefloor so they can go back to filming my dancing for youtube.

I do agree with what you're saying though, but in my experience, most people who meet in clubs and end up in bed will both agree it's a one off thing, and not going to turn into a relationship.

[travelmonster]

For me, I've never gone with anyone that I just met in a bar - not saying other people shouldn't do it, but its definitely not for me. Back then, if I went in a bar and ended up talking to someone and arranged a date I obviously wasn't a good judge of character cause it usually ended badly - hence me deciding not to bother any more. It was more a reflection of my bad judge of character back then though than anything else.

[introducinlyric]

The more problematic relationships I have seen have been those who have met in clubs, bars or at parties. At such venues, one will usually try to be at one's best. Add the atmosphere and a set of beer goggles, and shortcomings are easy to mask. It can often take some time to regain focus.

well said

[bloomer]

Mama always said you can't meet anyone good in a bar, and she was right.

[starlagurl]

So dating and bars: great place to pick up, great place to share drinks with friends, arriving alone in some cities is like fresh meat being thrown to the lions.

Ha ha! Which cities would this be referring to?

[skylab]

I find it ok to hook up with someone in a bar. I've done it many times. But it's advisable to be prudent when doing so coz you may end up falling in the hands of dishonest persons out there to exploit, rob or hijack you at the earliest opportunity.

of course it's ok. nothing wrong with hooking up with someone in a bar (as long as your single at least lol). My only concern is for the people who go to bars or clubs JUST for that reason instead of letting it happen randomly.

[starlagurl]

And always keep your eye on your drink!

[wakingdream]

I find it ok to hook up with someone in a bar. I've done it many times. But it's advisable to be prudent when doing so coz you may end up falling in the hands of dishonest persons out there to exploit, rob or hijack you at the earliest opportunity.

Deciding you won't meet a great mate in a bar is setting yourself up not to because you never know, you might. "Bars" all have different atmospheres and vibes too. Sure, clubs may be more for dancing and drinking but you could meet a cool person there for sure. I think the point of any club or bar is the socializing aspect. You put your feelers out sometimes and maybe you meet someone who piques your interest. Maybe you follow up, maybe you don't. A bar is just access to a certain social network. A chance to meet new people. Loads of awesome people go to bars! You just have to use your head about it all.

I've met loads of cool people in bars and clubs, some of whom are now my closest friends.

Me too for sure. Lots and lots, particularly through my twenties when pints were the norm a few nights a week.

[huckabmm]

If you want a serious relationship, then in my experience, it's a hella lot more fun (and better) to get to know them well before it gets to the pants off part.

Couldn't agree more. They always say that the best relationships start as best friends.

This isn't the same for everyone, but in my experience it seems to work out well.

[seal]

I will put my hand up, and admit that I have formed relations with some females while travelling, but its also a great place to meet other travellers as well, not just for physical purposes.

But mind you i met my 2nd girlfriend that way while travelling.