Blanch House Brighton

Don't go!

I had read about this trendy b&b in Brighton that the celebs liked and so booked it for our anniversary. Laid back at the Blanch House actually means no service whatsoever. I booked the Snow Room as I had been recommended it on the phone - six months in advance - and had confirmed it twice (once by us and once by the hotel the day before). We arrived after check in time to find out that somone was asleep in our room, he had apparently been staying during the week and had been clubbing and was therefore very tired and still asleep - did we still want that particular room? Bearing in mind I had booked it 6 months in advance and they knew for a fact we were coming this was not a very good welcome.

We said yes we did still want the room so the woman behind the desk didn't know what to do and was very unhelpful. A colleague said if we go off for an hour they would prepare the room for us. Not a good start to our stay. The reception which was in the bar (which does serve amazing cocktails) was smokey and smelly and covered in dog hair.

We came back after an hour expecting our luggage to be in our room. The room was ready but our luggage was still in the bar where we had left it. Obviously the staff were too "laid back" to move it.

The room was extremely disappointing. Shabby and stuffy with a tiny bathroom. Definitely not worth the £125 per night. The hotel as a whole was very shabby and dirty looking and not at all impressive. Not the cool trendy joint that the types of Zoe and Norm and Liam and friends would hang out at that we had been promised.

The next morning we went down for breakfast at about 9. Far too early for the chef apparently, took half an hour just to get a coffee and some toast from a bleary eyed waiter in jeans. The breakfast came about an hour later. Which I must admit was very tasty, if not very small.

My husband had booked us indian head massages for that morning at 10. 10.30 the masseuse had still not turned up and no phone call. Fed up of waiting around all morning we decided to go out. The woman at reception was completely uninterested when we asked what had happened and she couldn't find the details in the book. Again the hotel was too "laid back" to go through with the arrangements.

I would not recommend anyone to stay at this hotel. It was a farce from start to finish. They are proud of the fact that they are laid back and only suit a certain type of person. When you have been working hard all week and fancy a bit of pampering at the weekend - you expect some sort of service. if you are the kind of person who wants no service, nothing done on time and just to sit around in a shabby room, get covered in animal hair and wait until staff can be bothered to help you - you should stay here.

Vastly overrated

We booked two rooms, the first was very nice (Moroccan), the second (Indian) so small we had no room to move in either bedroom or shower room, and nowhere to hang clothes except a coat hook. Marvellous shower? Er, no. We could hear the TV of the opposite room clearly without either their bedroom door or our door being open.

I made it clear on booking we were there for a special family occasion. Breakfast was open from 9am only, so only after much cajoling was I able to persuade them to give me, the night before, a packet of muesli and a plastic box (!) of milk on ice, for my daughter to eat before she had to leave for her University Graduation ceremony, at 8.15. The breakfast they offered was their idea, as if they were being marvellously helpful. They knew of my vegetarian son's requirements when I confirmed our booking, but it was totally beyond their ability to provide him a decent lunch, citing they could not deviate from the menu, even with notice. Finally after much discussion, they agreed to compromise, (although still failing to pass on to the chef my son's dietary requirements) and later I was asked by the front-of-house manager whether I had 'ever spoken to him about his diet?'. Incidentally they advertise a policy of only one vegetarian per party, which is ridiculous and should be exposed to all potential guests. Very nice Brazilian waiter, though. Last thing about the food? I was asked to change my lunch booking as I was at the very end of service at 2pm. I was glad to do this because I had heard we would be able to get back for around 1-1.30. Then we were punished for only wanting two courses, by having to wait for our food for over an hour and a quarter from ordering, because we had 'turned up before our 1.30 booking time.' How do you work that out? I don't want to go back to find out!! There were only 8 other covers in the restaurant anyway, hardly busy.

Impossible parking with patrolling attendants ready to pounce in this narrow one way street, we had to park over a mile away. When asked about nearby parking possibilities, we were told it was usually impossible and to try a few blocks away, with an airy wave of the hand to denote directions to try.

I think that all adds up to a pretty poor rating.

Dont waste your money

Overrated, overhyped, glorified B&B - save your money.

We stayed in Boogie nights which would have been OK for £60 a night not £150. Waited over an hour for breakfast and no apology, the hotel smelt like an old peoples home, the room was small and stuffy but we couldnt open the window without being kept awake by the bar downstairs and the pub next door. The bathroom was tiny - for £150 a night I would at least expect a shower my boyfriend could fit in (even if he is 6'3).

Really, really disappointed and wished I had read the other peoples reviews before I went. Give it a wide berth. You are better off paying £29.50 a night for one of the hotels on the front!

Vastly over rated

This hotel is over rated and over priced. I booked two nights for our wedding anniversary and regretted it within minutes of our arrival. Our room, the Rococo was meant to be romantic - it was anything but.

The room was shabby with dirty marks on the walls. Barely anything worked - the fan was broken and the room was boiling, mainly due to a burning hot pipe which clanked noisily throughout the night. The radio had no aerial. The view was horrible. But most unromantic of all was the miniscule shower room with no door! The toilet was virtually in the room!

The tiny power shower (too small to bend and wash your feet and I am 5ft 2 and a size 10!) was anything but powerful and the Moulton Brown toiletries would have been lovely had we been able to dispense them - the dispensers were broken or blocked!

The open all hours cocktail bar is one of their major selling points. In reality it means the whole hotel stinks of smoke and drunk non-residents stagger up the stairs to the toilet disturbing the paying guests throughout the night! At £125 a night this isn't on.

The only good thing about our stay was the breakfast which was very nice but I barely had an appetite after being kept up all night by the noisy pipe, the drunken revellers and the boiling hot room!

My complaint got me £25 off the bill which did not in any way make up for a horrible two nights.

Next time we will choose the Pelirocco!

A little a bit of chic but unforunately too much of the shabby

We stayed in the White Room. Unfortunately it wasn't as billed. According to the colour of the carpet & the state of the jacuzzi it should be renamed the "Slightly Beige Room". No air-conditioning meant the room was stiflingly hot. Opening the windows isn't an option as the noise from the pub next door seems to reach a crescendo at about 2am. The restaurant was good and the staff quite pleasant. Rather expensive for what it is. May try somewhere else when we're back in Brighton though.

Left feeling hungry

There are some good things AND some not so good things I want to talk about in this review. The resturant - OK, starting with the good, service was excellent, as was the decor and the quality and taste of the food. On a less positive note the portions are ridiculously small (think of a nouvelle quisine starter and then reduce this by 50% - MEAN) the resturant was also slightly stuffy. In addition to this having been charged 3 pounds for bottled filtered tap water I assumed we could take away the glass bottle with us for the journey home, we were apprehended halfway up the steet by who we could only assume was Blanch herself. I couldn't have the glass bottle as all that I had paid for was the flitered ''tap water'' inside it. This stuck me as rather odd owing to the fact we had been charged 3 pounds already.

Shabby not shabby-chic

This hotel is sooo overated.We turned up at 3pm,had to wait an hour for our room.The room was dirty and the decoration was naff.small bathroom with basic molton brown stuff.somebody elses hair in shower.This place has been done on a budget with not much REAL style.Our duvet cover was from Ikea and they hadnt even removed the large label.some attention to detail has been paid to dining room they have seemed to have stopped there.overall badly finished and have obviously relied on the contacts that they made in london

Fun

We enjoyed our stay, our suite was beautiful and very comfortable.

Breakfast was great, dinner was good although a bit too 'nouvelle' for us! The bar is great fun for people not staying at the hotel - if you fancy a drink or a coffee after your meal - you cannot have it in the bar as its full of Brighton trendies - and waiting for room service is a joke, we waited over an hour for a couple of coffees!!

Fine, merely

Well, I stayed in the swanky Perrier Jouet room and I have to say that it was slightly disappointing. The bathroom was teeny, the roll top bath WAS fab, but the room felt a bit bare and unfinished. Not worth the rate charged for the night. On the plus side, breakfast was great, location fab, service attentive, friendly and not to o

Over rated

Very nice but not worthy of all the reviews I've read. For the price you pay you expect the best. Our room (Decadence, one of the top priced) was OK. TV had fallen off it's stand. Toilet is minute. and everything was just a bit shabby. The owners are very laid back so don't expect any kind of response.

It's like staying a rich friends house. Very nice but you have to do everything yourself.

The bar had a good cocktail list but looked like all the fags in Brighton had been stubbed out on the carpet.

Nice, could do with a touching up. Not worth the cash for the bigger rooms.