The 10 Best Ways For Walmart Uber To Get Penalized by Google

To make sure you're doing your very best for your new, uh, former boss (amazingly that is still applicable in your revised plans), follow these handy tips to prevent Walmart Uber from getting penalized by Google. There are plenty of sure fire ways to shoot yourself in the foot and make Google penalize Walmart Uber, but this handy top 10 list (which is certainly not cramming in keywords to ensure that it ranks by the time you got that great card), will help light the way.

There are also plenty of ways to do great paid and organic work, but still get that crushing feeling of inevitability. Even if you're escaping from BCOM and Google, you'll now have to deal with Amazon Google and even more Google. We've included a few bonus tips to help start you on your way.

  1. Putting The 10 Best in any of your titles... it doesn't work... TripAdvisor ruined it for everyone
  2. Getting your greeters drivers to link to them from their Honda Civic Fan blogs
  3. Offering free toilet paper rides to customers in exchange for brand searches
  4. Restarting the bros-will-be-bros Uber culture to generate controversy and links from TMZ and Fox News
  5. Taking indexed facetted search one step too far: [one way rides to hell with trump]
  6. Target any keywords that contain the words "hotel" in them... instant penalty
  7. Getting drunk riders to click on your search result... they'll likely miss and click the wrong one
  8. Replace the "Request Uber" button with a "View Deal" button
  9. If someone has vomited inbound search terms into Uber's paid program... press the nuke button and start fresh
  10. Uber drivers on break = content creation specialists?

See you in the SERPs, Mike!